It takes a VERY long time to get over these relationships. Unfortunately, it is very difficult to find a therapist for this kind of recovery.
My cult-like relationship was with my therapist, a naturopath (written about in other threads here). The last time I saw him was 10/01 to say goodbye to him when he left for Europe, but he kept in contact with me via phone and email through 6/02. Most of the contact was gut-wrenching because the lies he told me were beginning to be revealed.
It's now 1/03 and I have weeks where I miss what I thought was a true friendship. I had therapy, a lot of which focused on how codependent I was, the therapist's opinion of why I got suckered. However, the more I study and research, and as I get my sense of "old self but even better" back, it had very little to do with codependency.
There is a lot written about responsibility these days, which, if not explained well, can lead "victims" to feel even more guilt for the pain they have caused their spouses and others. Usually, there is a good amount of blame-shifting by the one doing the manipulating, so it's very difficult for the one being controlled.
There is a thread on Tony Robbins here, also. That has some good info. Just keep reading - both of you. Here's a good read