Damaged I can't even begin to wonder how your daughter can heal from the fact that she was raped by her father when she was three. Knowing that he is still around other children must keep the wound wide open for her. I wonder if talking to others who were sexually abused by members of this cult would help her.

Oops....I meant to address that post to Truthseeker....I got confused...

one minute I'm reading about a 3 year old being raped and the next minute I'm reading about the melancholy feelings that people sometimes feel when they disagree with family members.

It gets a little confusing.

Sorry...what's wrong with me??

Can any of the therapists who frequent this board help me figure out why I'm so confused all the time?

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exfollower

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damaged13
Mind games and mixed messages are par for the course with this group. 13 years ago and I still remember like it was yesterday. It had been 4 years since I left the group and my father came to me with a final offer. I could rejoin the group now but time was running out. I was told those that left were dead branches that would have to be cut. Also that those that left were in danger from (I think) members of the Abensur family from Israel and were being watched. What kind of danger, I asked, but I never got a straight answer.

It's a good thing I held out for a better offer because years later he came back with a new one - I could come back whenever I wanted. Oh thank goodness!!

Believe it or not I'm still here, I haven't been "cut" and there are no strange Israelis hiding in my bushes with a telephoto lens. I'm proud that I stuck to my guns but truth be told this all messed with my head so bad I may never recover. Hope that's not the case.

damaged 13- it sounds like you are a "grownup", at least over 21? so my question - WHY DID YOU RETURN?

I didn't return, I'm not in the cult. I said "I'm still here" meaning alive, not murdered by the supposed threat that would come after me if I left. Got it?

damaged13:

See [www.culteducation.com]

Note the directory of counseling resources linked at the top.

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Sallie
Damaged I can't even begin to wonder how your daughter can heal from the fact that she was raped by her father when she was three. Knowing that he is still around other children must keep the wound wide open for her. I wonder if talking to others who were sexually abused by members of this cult would help her.

Oops....I meant to address that post to Truthseeker....I got confused...

one minute I'm reading about a 3 year old being raped and the next minute I'm reading about the melancholy feelings that people sometimes feel when they disagree with family members.

It gets a little confusing.

Sorry...what's wrong with me??

Can any of the therapists who frequent this board help me figure out why I'm so confused all the time?

Sallie, I can't even tell anymore...is this a serious post or are you telling me that I shouldn't be posting about my situation here? I don't feel "melancholy", I'm torn to shreds. My entire life and family has been affected by this group in a terrible way and I'm pretty sure you're trying to belittle that. Again. You don't like me, you've made that perfectly clear in your previous posts to me, and because of your hateful responses I haven't posted anything in years. Of course I think that what happened to Truthseeker's daughter is a nightmare that no one should have to endure. Does that mean I am a bad person for talking about another incident that happened with this cult? I thought this board was a place for ALL survivors of this cult to post their thoughts, feelings, etc, but if it's only for those that please you, Sallie, I will leave. Again.

This site entitled CULT EDUCATION really does offer so many tools for anyone and everyone who has had any dealings with a cult.

I always remember HIDE AND SEEK ON THE BEACH.

So it's the 80s and our leaders are afraid of being PROSecuted for violating the sexual boundaries of minors. What to do? Well...they start to preach about PERSecution. We're taught that we (minors) have to be able to convince the ''outsiders'' that we are different people. We have to learn how to HIDE IN PLAIN SIGHT.

So we practice on the beach. This is a place where people are virtually naked and so we can't rely upon clothing or real live masks. We're told to ''mask'' our personalities. We're taught to change our walk and talk in order to deceive people. Then we had to try and find each other.
It was kind of fun.

Now I'm old. But having been taught so well by my elders how to deceive I imagine that my peers (now elders themselves)...also learned the art of deception very well.

I wonder if the youth now involved in this group are privy to these tidbits.

Sallie, clearly from earlier posts and this last, you think I'm still in this cult. I went through hell to leave, and I am proud that I did. So I could go nuts trying to deny it, but what's the point? Let's try something else. What can I do or say to convince you that I'm not? Is there anything, or is your mind just made up? It's a serious question, please answer. Thank you.

1 - Newsday claims Jack Hickman had a sexual appetite for young boys and violated them.

2 - A Newsday article says the Heck boy was accused of taking part in gang rape

3 - The police dep't has a rap sheet on Delalio and his sex offense against a minor

4 - One of the Pastors sons gave up custody in court of his 3 year old after a therapist presented evidence that she'd been sexually abused.

Oh my....

Damaged 13 you claim to have left the group on or about 1995 and you also claim you are still very close to your parents who never left the group.

I'll quote you Damaged...Damaged wrote '' ..... While I find it absolutely disgusting everything I've found out about Jack Hickman, I don't believe that most of the people who are involved would hurt a fly. They are good people who love god and want to live their lives in a way that pleases him, through studies, prayer, and good works. They just chose the wrong person to follow in their religious journey.....''

DAMAGED...the above is what you wrote about a group who clearly you knew/know very well since you didn't leave until the mid 90s and since you love and are still close with your still involved parents.
They wouldn't hurt a fly? Is that so? so you've never been hurt by their words?

But I hurt you?????? My words hurt you??????
I'm an anonymous poster.
I made a sarcastic comment.

My comment has effected you so deeply that you've not been able to communicate on this board for years??

So..mom and dad are communicating with you just fine. The god loving group of Coons followers haven't prevented you from communicating your love to them...

But as for me...you POSTED THIS ABOUT ME..Damaged 13 you said to me....'' You don't like me, you've made that perfectly clear in your previous posts to me, and because of your hateful responses I haven't posted anything in years.''

Wow.
You've been UNABLE to function on this board because you think I hate you''? Wow. I have had that much of an effect on your ability to communicate with others but....
Gary Coons and his cult...they've done nothing to hinder you from communicating lovingly with mom and dad??

Is that right?

We speak, yes. I never said we had a good relationship. Yes I took your words personally, that is a weakness of mine. I did feel persecuted by you, to use your word. Do you think it's possible for someone to feel that way even if they are not in this cult? Can you conceive that someone who was raised in a cult and left might have the same messed up thought processes as someone who is still in? My original question still stands...if you think I'm in, how can I prove otherwise? It's not rhetorical - I care what those on this board think of me and would like to clear my name.