The cult used to patrol the grounds of Christ Lutheran with guns but it seems that the group really went off the deep end. I will get into analyzing the postings this week so that I can get a feeling for the developements that have occured in the years since I left in May of '78. That's 29 years ago that I left and obviously it's been a long time.
I would like to know how many people are involved these days. Is anyone out there?

It is establsihed that Hickman died, Hove became an Orthodox Jew and is affilitated with Young Israel and does anyone know what happened to Don Smestead?
It doesn't suprise me that they all went to the same Bible college. My father claimed they dreamed up the Ben Yishai/Shoresh Yishai scam years before they got together on LI. But my Dad overshot the mark when he thought it was sanctioned by the ALC which threw the cult out of the ALC.

During the years I participated, 1973-83, the Fellowship and Community changed enormously. A model was Abraham leaving the land of his birth for an unnamed place that God would show him. In the years since leaving, I have carried this legacy of the Community by continuing to change. Yet, sometimes when preachers call for decisions, I feel that God respects my objections to being troubled again. Andre Neher (The Exile of the Word: From the Silence of the Bible to the Silence of Auschwitz) suggests that this was how God related to Abraham after the trauma of the binding of Isaac.

I enjoyed mathematical and logical puzzles before the scandal, so it was quite natural to seek out skeptical appraisals of religion and pseudo-science afterwards. The scandal accentuated a pre-existing tendency. At times I accept the possibility of miracles yet stubbornly refuse to let them influence me, a trait sometimes identified with Jewish ‘hardening’. It is evident in Deuteronomy 13’s warning against following false prophets who perform miracles, and Daniel 3:18’s steadfastness even if God does not perform a miracle.

The Community was formed under an impression of living in the end times. This is a recurrent theme in religion, being true of the early church, of the Reformation, and of many evangelicals today. Eschatology and apocalyptic are impossible to reject entirely because of their historical credentials (to speak ironically), but they conflict with an interest in history. The collapse of the Community accentuated my pre-existing discomfort with eschatology and with mysticism.

Primo Levi said that if he had not been in Auschwitz he probably never would have written anything. I think I would have written something about anti-Judaism, genocide, and other heavy topics even if I had not experienced the Community and the collapse of the Community. If I had not had these sweet and sour moments, I would have found others. I would have been interested in the Jewishness of Jesus. I would have found my faith challenged by my scientific commitments. I might even have changed careers anyway. However, if I had never been in the Community it is likely I have married sooner [I married in 2005], would not have had to be unemployed before I changed careers, would not have a flooding of memories years after an event.

I have heard of people from the Community who converted to Judaism (mainstream Orthodox, Hasidic, Conservative, Reform), who returned to the Lutheran church or other churches or Jewish-Christian groups, who remained loyal to the Community’s leadership, who remained religious but severed relations with organized religion, who became religiously mute and perhaps atheists, who explored New Age paths, or who did more than one of these. Some Jews who grew up in the church discovered their Jewishness through the Community, and moved on to various branches of Judaism. A comparable variety might be found in people who leave any community. I do not know of anyone except myself who was rebaptized [in 1990 when I joined a Mennonite congregation] and continues to associate with the Orthodox Jewish life, nor can I imagine many following my path. I have contact with almost no former Community members. Yet I feel an understanding and kinship with everyone who was once in the Community. Wiesel wrote in a novel that some Jews gained their faith during the Shoah while some lost it, and he understands both.

Among the best aspects of the Fellowship was the sense of community, which expressed itself in practical ways. I invited myself or was invited to Shabbat meals with strangers on many occasions. There was a high level of discipleship in the Fellowship and Community. In this respect the emphasis on discipleship among Mennonites is familiar to me. The teaching about struggle with God (for which Jacob’s wrestling is the model) that I learned in the Community, is with me. I have read much of the post-Holocaust theologians, and about arguing with God (for which Moses and Abraham are models).

Finally, however, one cannot make God an enemy. There is a story, also from the tradition of chutzpah k’lapei shamaya (audacity in the face of heaven), about reconciliation. One Yom Kippur, a Hasid said to God, “I’ve not had a good year, I’ve sinned in this and that. But you, Ribono shel Olam (Master of the Universe), you’ve also not had a good year. You let us fall prey to our enemies, you let infants die in their mother’s arms. Here’s what we should do. You forgive us, and we will forgive you.” Sometimes I feel that way, but other times I neither accuse nor feel the need to forgive God.

R’ Akiba said that Man is beloved, for he was created in the image of God, but it was by a special love that this was made known to him. On many days I thank the Lord that I know and again can know his love. This attitude is as genuine as resistance. Pinchas Lapide writes in The Resurrection of Jesus: A Jewish Perspective, “A faith which is lived can be neither refuted nor confirmed; it can only be sensed with empathy because ‘Our God is a God of salvation; and to God, the Lord, belongs escape from death’ (Ps. 68:20).”

I have escaped death a number of times. One time I was living at Moshav Me'or Modi'in and a bench press that I was lifting on snapped when I was lifting over 300 lbs. Additional times, I escaped what happened to me at Chabad's hands and I attempted suicide several times over the years. Luckily, I am doing better now.

Hello.

This is my first time posting and I'm freaking out a bit because I feel like I just stumbled upon information that has been a mystery for most of my life.

I am now 35 years old. I attended a school in Massapequa (or Hicksville) which, I think, was called "Bet El Yehoshua". It was a private elementary school affiliated with Christian/Jewish places of worship in Massapequa and East Meadow. The head of the school, as I remember was called "Abba". He had a house next to the school. Is this guy the Jack Hickman you all are talking about?

At the end of my 4th grade, which would have been in 1982, I remember something major happening in the organization. It was on the local news. My parents took me out of the school and enrolled me in public schoolfrom then on. We never spoke to anyone from the organization after that. I have never understood what happened (THANK YOU for the articles!!!)

This period in my life has remained a huge mystery to me. It has only been in the past year that I have begun to realize my parents were in a cult.

Is any of this ringing a bell to anyone? The school in Massapequa? I can remember the names of all of my teachers (we called them all "Moreh (first name)"), including one who used to hit us with a wooden paddle. IN fact I've got lots of memories- I often wonder if they're real or imagined. It's like this chapter in my childhood life disappeared and this is first time in years I've located anything online that sounds like the place I knew (I was looking for "Bet El Yehoshua"- today I googled "Abba" and "Smestead" for the first time. I completely forgot about "Shoresh"....)

Does anyone know about this school? Names from this time? I would be so greatful to talk to you. I can be reached at raymond10036@gmail.com.

I know I'm rambling on a bit, but I am stunned I found some folks who know what I am talking about.

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the Christensens, the Paganos, Debbie Haugland

I attended the school in Massapequa from 1977-1982. These are last names of classmates I attended with (If I remember correctly, Debbie, Craig and David- though I recall David leaving in 3rd grade (1981)....

Wow, this thread has been an incredible discovery for me today. I hope to connect with some of you.

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KarmaMachine

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the Christensens, the Paganos, Debbie Haugland

I attended the school in Massapequa from 1977-1982. These are last names of classmates I attended with (If I remember correctly, Debbie, Craig and David- though I recall David leaving in 3rd grade (1981)....

Wow, this thread has been an incredible discovery for me today. I hope to connect with some of you.

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I knew Roy Christensen. He and I weren't that close but I think he was an elder. It was very sad about what happened to Pastor Jack Hickman (aka Abba Yaakov Abensur). It was many years ago when I left to go to Israel.
Shoresh Yishai led me to Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach and Carlebach led me to Chabad. It is all a very bad sequence.

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mennodoc



Finally, however, one cannot make God an enemy. There is a story, also from the tradition of chutzpah k’lapei shamaya (audacity in the face of heaven), about reconciliation. One Yom Kippur, a Hasid said to God, “I’ve not had a good year, I’ve sinned in this and that. But you, Ribono shel Olam (Master of the Universe), you’ve also not had a good year. You let us fall prey to our enemies, you let infants die in their mother’s arms. Here’s what we should do. You forgive us, and we will forgive you.” Sometimes I feel that way, but other times I neither accuse nor feel the need to forgive God.

Over the years, I've had different attitudes toward God. Some times I was angry for His allowing me to be misled. Sometimes, I was thankful for just being alive despite my own sins and shortcomings. Essentially, the adult way of dealing with it is to realize that if something bad happened, you have to deal with it head on, take responsibility for the situation and you have to realize that where there's life there's hope. Also, people can learn from our mistakes. Maybe we went through our pains to that others can learn from us. I always post here hoping to save people from falling into the same ruts that I fell into.

I was involved with someone from this group and it has taken me 7 years go work through the damage the relationship caused me. Worse than that, I heard that she married the second in line, Gary Coons. Does anyone have any information on the Gattis?

I was most attracted to this website because of the possibility of contacting old friends or learning what had happened to them. In this hope I am bound to be disappointed to a greater or lesser degree. I did not know most of the people who came into contact with the Fellowship/Community or who read or write to this website (leaving aside the matter of anonymity). It has also happened that when I reconnected with someone from those days, it was not very satisfying. But there have also been good experiences of reconnecting (not related to this website). So instead I write to clarify ideas for myself and to be helpful to people who didn’t necessarily know me back then.

The fellow who has vague memories of Beth El Yehoshua reminds me of the memoir When Memory Comes, by Saul Friedlander, who was a child during the Holocaust. Friedlander augments his partial memories with things that he learned when he grew older. Primo Levi has also investigated the way that our memory of an event changes over time.

I want to share a memory about the last time that I spoke to Ruth Jacobs. I had left the Community, but I still had (God willing) most of my life in front of me. Some people, whether they stayed or left, were more concerned about the younger folks. In 1986, Ruth was dying of cancer and could no longer speak when I saw her. I told the following story to cheer her, and she showed with her hands that she liked it. It was a way to talk about the experience of the Community, especially the Saturday night service.

On the Sabbath at dusk, the students used to gather at the home of the Hafetz Hayyim. At this very special hour he would usually speak of man’s obligations in this world, keeping the commandments, and about the coming of the Messiah, as if he were already approaching the bridge over the river on the outskirts of town. His voice was soft and quivered, and it appeared to the huddled students as if he were speaking from heaven and breaking up into thousands of separate voices, each penetrating their souls so that they wouldn’t forget this holy stillness and very special occasion.

His words caressed them and reminded them that they were living in a world which was all goodness and stood ready to receive the spirit of the Lord. His soft voice reminded them that they were the descendants of kings, the students of the Torah, and were responsible for bearing the burden of the entire world, which rests upon them and seeks in them mercy for its very existence.

It was a time when they all craved to hear more and more from their rabbi and teacher. They thought for sure that he would be the one who would be privileged to greet the Messiah King. All of the assembled students wished that he would not stop speaking or leave that hallowed place. They would be moved to tears when he spoke sadly of the Jews in Russia, or of the laws passed against Jews in other countries. They then understood the meaning of the people of Israel in its exile. They felt all the love that one man could have for all his brethren scattered throughout the world.

Those special twilight hours followed the yeshiva students of Radun for the rest of their lives, in times of joy and in times of sadness, on their final road before death, during all their trials and tribulations during the time of the Holocaust and throughout their entire lives, and none of them ever swayed from the right path.

The ending of this story was different for some who had been in the Community. I was deeply grieved to know that the scandal destroyed the faith of friends of mine. However, I still enjoy some memories of the Community which have now been shaped by this story. In a recent NPR piece, a fellow mused that not only could none of the current Republican candidates for president measure up to the Reagan myth, but Reagan himself was sorely deficient, compared to how he is remembered today.