You can't really do anything unless she wants to help herself. There is a website, www.drirene.com , for people in verbally abusive relationships, which usually involve one manipulative person and one who plays into the manipulation. There is good general information on the home page and an extensive forum of mostly women who have been involved with manipulative partners, employers, clergy, etc. You might take a look and give her info on patterns you read about there.
I think that's the really hard thing to accept sometimes when trying to help another person. You see the abuse in the relationship, but as yet they either do or obviously haven't accepted it.
And even if you could think of the greatest and most persuasive reason ever for them to change or to see what is happening, and you told it to them, that still wouldn't do it. Because it's your reason. Not theirs. All you can do is be supportive, talk to them, show them your reasoning and hope they discover a reason of their own, in their time.
But....
And here comes the big but...... And yet that 'free will to do as you please with your life' doesn't always apply does it? Because some forms of abuse are so horrific that you have to somehow 'force' the person out of the abusive enviroment they are in because of the severe brainwashing they are being subjected to....
I've been caught out thinking someone needs a supporting hand after they tell you their problems and ask you what you think. Then after a while you realise they play quite a significant role in the fiasco themselves to keep the drama in their life 'alive'. Thus the type of answers you give them weren't really the ones that they were wanting to hear anyway.
Then you think arhhh stuff it, waste of time coz in most occassions they are also doing the same to everyone else they know...