We can alchemize abuse into strength
Date: June 03, 2021 12:40AM
After spending years trying to recover from the abuse of my blood family as well as the cult family, I have come to a conclusion.
I can spend my whole life nursing the wounds and 1000 different healing modalities.
Focusing too much on what the abuse has done, I give too much power to the abusers. I also disempower myself by thinking about abuse way too often.
We all have some scars on our bodies from falling when we were kids. We do not often focus on the scars and how we got them.
Even though emotional and spiritual abuse leaves scars on the heart and soul, it is still a scar.
The abusers are merely a mirror that shows us what is lacking from within.
The childhood abuse may have resulted in the lack that allows a person to accept abuse when they grow up.
No matter how bad the damage, it is never too late to gain our power back.
If not for the experiences of abuse, I would still be a doormat and peoples pleaser. Now my boundaries are becoming stronger and stronger like a wall.
We also learn to have more self-respect and compassion for self.
No therapist can know us better than we know ourselves, we all have that inner guidance in order to find what works for us personally. We are all different and there are no one formula fits all when it comes to healing.
Imagine how amazing it is that we are on this forum aware of what has happened to us instead of still being stuck in the situation.
This is a huge victory and we should never take it for granted.
We can either choose to look at the abusers as tough teachers or as excecutioners.
when we change the present we can also change the past. By letting the hurt transform into strength and power, we can forgive those who have hurt us as well as the past. If we become a better version of ourselves, the past can also be transformed into a more pleasant experience.
We should never give up on ourselves and the hope that we can be whole one day after letting situations and people destroy many sides of ourselves.
It should be an opportunity to put the pieces back together and build a new and better version.
It took me many years to finally come to the point where I can no longer sit with The victim mentality as the survivor side of me is taking charge of the situation.
For those who feel stuck, do not lose hope as the future can be brighter.
Forgiveness will eventually come when we love all that has happened to us. Be it good or bad. It is all a gradual process. I am not there yet.
Recovery has way too many layers and we can often hit a plateau. Think we are back to sqaure one. But we are still progressing.
I just wanted to share this before I take a break as there is not much more I have to say.
Give yourselves credit for embarking on the journey of transformation, which takes so much courage.
May you all have the Universal divine forces help you on the path to wholeness.