Hi Sam
This is my first post on this message board and did not actually know where I needed to start posting,I have recently read your book and found that after I did it has left me in a state of panic and anxiety,I was overwhelmed by your honesty and eloquence and enjoyed the way in which you exposed the very core of what I feared in the man I married 6 years ago.
Every detail you expose explains the very core of my relationship and find that since reading it I am filled with a state of panic.
I do not want to go into much detail just now but I was brought up as a JW and have lost almost everything since my spiritual eyes were opened up to this cult.I lost my young husband 10 years ago,I am now married to a man that displays every facet of what you describe in your book ,I do not have the words to express what I am feeling as I find a anger welling up within me that I have never known before.

I really don't know what it is that I am asking,permission to leave him? I am petrified to even thinking of the ramifications.....
Thank you for bringing this out to the light.

Hisservant,

I found this website to have some excellent material about Narcissists and Psychopaths. The owner is not accepting new members any longer, but the articles and forum posts are very helpful, and there are great links to more credible sources.


[groups.msn.com]

I read a book called "what smart women know" and it talks about all the games that these men play and the different types of abuse and it also addresses the issues that women have that cause them to be drawn into these relationships in the first place, and it talks about what to look for in a man and what to avoid. And how to tell if a man is abusive on the first date by oberving subtle cues

this book changed my life...I used to be in and out of abusive relationships, but now I quit that stuff.

last time I checked they had some used copies on amazon for around 5 dollars or so


and as far a the husband goes.....I would recomend hanging out alot with possitive friends who will support you so you can gain the emotional strength to leave him. From personal experience hon, he will not change, and if he does , it is only temperary, and then he will go back to abusing you. If he thinks you are going to leave him, he may all the sudden be mr. wonderful....dont fall for it...it is part of the trap
you dont need permission to leave.....but may I recomend getting with your possitive friends and family, and making an escape plan. You may need one.

Also let the chief of police know what is up....so they can assit you ...if you need help. My mom was in a dangerous relationship with my step father....she told the chief of poilice what was going on....he sent his people to help her leave.

JoAnne

hey there...

I've been there (not a JW, but I was married to someone abusive)...

It's a hard thing to do and a big step to take, so I definitely agree with whoever said to surround yourself with positive friends so you have a solid support system if/when you choose to get out.

If I hadn't had my best friend around during my marriage, I don't know that I would have gotten out as soon as I did. But with her encouragement, I was able to find my own strength and I did it. She had me stay with her for a while until I got everything in order.

Please keep posting and if you merely need a sympathetic ear, I'm here.

:)