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Re: Can't seem to recover from that hiorrible time. Afraid I am lost
Posted by: akita777 ()
Date: November 16, 2010 09:21AM

Thanks for the reply. It has been 8 yrs. since that time and I have done a lot of work on myself since then. I have been to many counselors and am now involved in a cult recovery group. It has been a long time since this happened but because I only spoke with this man over the internet and phone I really never believed I was "in" a cult. I now acknowledge that yes I was in but not physically present with this man. You are right to say that I am going to get limited help on the internet. My reason for being here is probably similar to your own. Not an answer for all my problems but yes to relate to others that have suffered the way I have. I have good influences in my life but they for the most part do not know how to help or relate to my problem....

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Re: Can't seem to recover from that hiorrible time. Afraid I am lost
Posted by: jeffsjo ()
Date: November 18, 2010 12:35AM

This is definitely not a place where I think it would be wise to assume that I've considered all the factors that are necessary.

That being said and with Akita777 seeming to understand that any kind of objectification of any us can be unhealthy I still would like to find out where some of the things that he (assuming that most people with a wife are still men) has believed have come from and how the biblical references have meshed with this experiential based cult leader's sustem.

Any problems with this Stoic, or anybody else with insight into these things?

Are you up to it Akita777?

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Re: Can't seem to recover from that hiorrible time. Afraid I am lost
Posted by: akita777 ()
Date: November 18, 2010 02:28AM

The lies that were told to me were concerning very basic biblical doctrine. Such as the God of the Old Testament being false. Leading me to a place where I believed I blasphemed the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit was really the spirit of the earth. Jesus actually came to save us from the god of the Old Testament. The God of the Old Testament is the god of dominion. Yadda, yadda, yadda! I think this guy was some kind of spin off of santanism or a witch/warlock type guy.

His whole thing was that he could give me an "experience" to know the truth. Quickly after speaking with him I started having emotional problems. I had delusions and I really thought that he was someone special and maybe I was too. He talked to me as a father would a son and I was very vulnerable at that time in my life. I was losing my business and was in deep depression before I met him(I just didn't know yet). If it were not for the experiences I had and still have I would be able to walk away and get on with my life. But, I still struggle as if it happened yesterday. How is your situation similar?

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Re: Can't seem to recover from that hiorrible time. Afraid I am lost
Posted by: Stoic ()
Date: November 18, 2010 10:04AM

Akita777,

This man was someone with a strongly controlling personality who caught you at a vulnerable time. Some people make a habit of recognising the signs of vulnerability in others in order to take advantage of them. He really doesn't have any other power over you than that.

I very much doubt that he believed anything that he told you, he was spinning stories to get the effect that he wanted, he wanted you to believe his stories and begin to doubt yourself. By dwelling on this and not on your other stable relationships you keep the stories that he told you alive.

Those stories really need to be put in the garbage so that you can get on with your life and to do that you need to talk to someone you trust, in person, about why the stories have caused you so much trouble.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 11/18/2010 10:07AM by Stoic.

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Re: Can't seem to recover from that hiorrible time. Afraid I am lost
Posted by: nadine ()
Date: December 09, 2010 11:18AM

Hi Pegasus,
I am new to this forum. I am the parent of a daughter who still refuses to have any contact with me (even though I believe--although not certain--- that she is longer a disciple) She was recruited in 1995. Even if she is now out, certainly there has been much fear instilled in her to make her want to shun her family i.e "dire consequences" etc, even though the cult leader has been dead for three years. the indoctrination is still very powerful.
The reason I am contacting you is because, after reading one of your posts, I believe the cult you were also recruited by is the same one. I would very much like to contact you in order to hopefully gain an insight into how your life has been out of the cult experience. This is of course, your decision entirely, and if you do not wish to correspond, I will certainly understand. If, however, you have no objection, would you please consider replying to this post, or agreeing to a private message?
Regards, Nadine.

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Re: Can't seem to recover from that hiorrible time. Afraid I am lost
Posted by: pegasus ()
Date: December 10, 2010 06:01AM

Hi Nadine
Sure, i would love to hear from you. I am sorry to hear about your situation. I have been contacted before by mothers in the same situation as you - what a painful situation to be in. Well it could well be the same cult - mine was the Sri Chinmoy cult.
I will send you a private message with my email address
Look forward to hearing from you
Pegasus

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