Thanks yasmin! I appreciate the info.

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LLG
Hi jeffsjo,

I am also right now struggling with the same thing I think you are driving at. I recently left a cult and want to have support from people who understand what its like (my family has been supportive so far but I think some are getting "bored" of the issues I'm still working through) but where I live there are no groups like this in my area. Really my only option I believe is an internet run support group but I'm leerie about joining another group especially one on the internet because the cult I was in was an internet cult. I'm not sure how to know if it is safe to join one of these groups and if I will be more vulnerable after the experience I just came out of.

If anyone knows of any safe online support groups for ex-cult members I would appreciate your suggestions.

Hi LLG,

I can't speak directly to any of Yasmin's suggestions except to say that I have been around Knapp a little bit online and have nothing but respect for the things that I have heard him share.

I do hope you find any help you might need. I have seen the folks involved in running this site give one other poster references to support/counseling groups in his/her area, perhaps there are resources around that you just haven't been able to find yet.

I'm just considering as it sounds you may already have, that perhaps something non-internet related might be a better place for you, although any good help is still good help. :)

JEFF

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Stoic
'Since we people are naturally social creatures I sometimes wonder if some form of cultism (hopefully not destructive in nature) is a natural state.'

I think, in the early years after cult involvement, it is only too easy to see malign cult activity around every corner--since we are still raw from being caught by it and sensitised to be suspicious of being caught again.

It is a process of regaining confidence in your own ability to discriminate, which was previously undermined, and that takes time and a lot of personal examination and sorting out--a good counsellor who understands specific cult issues can be a great help.

That sounds about right to me!

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Most therapists who deal with cult survivors agree that the personal cult involvement needs to be addressed first, before getting into the wider social implications and family of origin dynamics that may have contributed to the persons vulnerabilities to cult recruitment.
I think that is a sensible course, as the problems arising are personal and current and those are the one's that you might have some control over and options to change.

I haven't had the benefit of ANY personal counseling along these lines Stoic, but still agree with you that this is a sensible course.

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I ponder the same general questions but I know that if I get too involved in the cultic aspects of North Korea or other peoples problems--over which I have no control--it is usually a sign that whatever is bugging me about those things I can't control is really more to do with a personal lack of understanding of something going on in my own life.
I can't do much about North Korea or the many injustices of the world but sometimes the pondering throws some light on my own situation in a way that allows me make some progress.
Finding someone knowlegeable about cult issues to discuss these things with makes the pondering a lot easier as that person can be a bit more directive at keeping the focus on yourself (holding your feet to the fire in the kindest possible way) rather than letting the subject get so wide as to encompass world problems that none of us can have a hope of individually influencing.

As in our other brief exchange this does happen to apply to folks that I have talked to and probably will again sometime. I don't think I will get into any specifics this time.

But it does seem to me that these issues may be over considered without producing much of any good fruit in our own life or others' if it is simply an academic consideration; if we get in over our head so-to-speak.

Of course, for an "academic" getting all "academic" about it might just be right up their alley, so-to-speak. :D

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Of course, once you have back your confidence in your own discrimination and a willingness to back that up with critical arguments, you can let rip and be the scourge of North Korea or anything else in the world that you disagree with.
Freedom of thought and speech can be exhilarating, but you really do need to sort the personal stuff first as otherwise it is all too easy to be drawn into the next plausible idealistic idea that presents itself--to your personal detriment once again.

Freedom IS exhilarating!, but it's probably best tempered IMO when it does our self or others some good perhaps.

Sorry if I came across as too 'academic' but what I meant by pondering was identifying and paying attention to the thinking patterns that involvement in the cult has left behind and starting to unpick those patterns.
It does involve a focus on the self rather than on others and a knowlegeable counsellor can help indentify those personal patterns that have become ingrained and second-nature over time to the point that it is difficult to spot them without outside help.
Thats the personal stuff I was referring to.

If those patterns are unexamined and not worked on, many ex-cultees go from one cult to another ad infinitum. Its about thinking but it is not academic--it can be painful and it is always hard work.

Here's some links to articles on persuasive coercion and how it works. It works on everyone at different times and you will never get to the point where you are invulnerable. Understanding how it works and being vigilant is your best bet:

[www.culteducation.com]

[www.culteducation.com]

jeffsjo,

To illustrate my meaning about thinking patterns, take a look at this discussion:

[forum.culteducation.com]

The posters here are from another, non-Christian tradition but they are discussing how words and thinking patterns were used to subtly change their original thinking to the cult dogma. Its how all cults get the results they want.

These patterns are difficult, but not impossible, to recognise and change. The fact that it is possible, with patience and attention, to change these patterns makes the endeavor a practical, not an academic undertaking.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/14/2010 03:10PM by Stoic.

Hi Stoic,

No apology necessary. It was just me making light of the point that I perceived in your post, that practical was better than useless knowledge. (That is, of course, in my own words.)

I will CERTAINLY read those links, but can not stay around to give them much attention right now.