Re: Am I doing something wrong?
Date: March 12, 2009 06:23AM
Thanks for your encouragement and for sharing your own experiences in such an open way. I really liked your lack of pretension and I found your story really interesting. It seems that you had an experience similar to Tolle did, except you have remained humble and human about it which is refreshing. So many people who become 'spiritual' become superior too, which you didn't.
Because we have to communicate thru words, it is hard for me at times to see beyond the concepts to the experience. There are many ways of describing the same thing, sometimes the christian words I like, other times the Buddhist concepts, but it is good to hear that you also found it is the same thing, pointing to the same experience in Thom Merton.
Actually experience is not so hard to deal with, it is more the words and concepts that give me trouble. I don't want to let go of the idea of God, it is comforting to me and I have benefited from handing things over to god and letting it be, that has given me peace. But having God outside of me, leads to a lot of trouble because it separates us and leaves me open to being less than and not entitled to lead my own life. I get confused and think I have to please god/align myself with his will etc. And I make him someone that is perfect whilst I am not - all unhelpful stuff. I feel guilty if I don't think I am living as well as I could.
So at that point viewing things without the god concept is more helpful, in terms of consciousness and experience, as you have described.
I find my brain just can't hold both the two perspectives and I get in a muddle!
Anyway, thanks for replying back to me. Quite likely I misinterpreted your original messages' intent and I appreciate your comments and good will. Your own experience is quite intriguing.