Re: Avoiding real connections with people
Date: August 18, 2009 11:45AM
I was somewhat shy as a person but the organization needed people that went out into the communities. I learned how to go door to door, stand in front of a grocery store soliciting donations, make phone calls to complete strangers, very outgoing activities. My sister was the exact opposite, a social butterfly if you will, who eventually was relegated to the desk duties of typing, typing and more typing, became somewhat introverted. After our departures, she has retained much of the introversion whereas I retained more of the extroversion. (I hope those are real words.).
She is reluctant to form friendships so ends up with a handful of casual acquaintances. Mostly she is afraid of getting burned. She saw a lot of people come and go when we were in. I try to keep busy and have a large circle of friends. I have heard from others that once you've been sucked into a cult and leave, that you are prone to being sucked into another one. I have also heard the exact opposite, that people fear being sucked in so just don't commit to legitimate organizations.
I find that doing research on a group helps me make a decision what I want to get involved with. It's unlikely the PTA is a cult but a very aggressive PTA can come off like a bunch of bullies. I guess the best advice I can give is to set parameters for what you are willing or not willing to do. If the group is demanding things that you are not comfortable with, it's probably not a good fit. Not every group is on the watch lists. My background is with a political group but that does not mean I shy away from political causes. I hope this helps you.
PS: I'm still working things out too, and I haven't been in the group for twelve years but I was in for sixteen, started at age 14, joined and worked with my father (with my mother's blessing, and she was not in).