Hi Friends! Brent thank you for doing all the work that I've wanted to for so many years. I am so glad you are doing a website. I would love to tell what I know about George's past (My years with the Plymouth Bretheren) , the psycho-social dynamics of the assembly and contribute in any way helpfull. Although I no longer believe in a "personal God" It is my dream to see truth win out in this situation. To comment on Joe's topic of suicide, it is my belief that the suicides and attempted suicides in the assembly are numerous. While living in a abusive home-I was very depressed-I couldn't move with the brothers approval- I couldn't pursue my dream of education-I wasn't allowed to date. Subsequently I confessed my thoughts on suicide to Kieth walker. His response was to meet with me once and council Stop it.

<<Although I no longer believe in a "personal God" It is my dream to see truth win out in this situation. To comment on Joe's topic of suicide, it is my belief that the suicides and attempted suicides in the assembly are numerous.>>

Unfortunately this is a common theme I hear from those who have left the assemblies. Many are depressed and some refuse to admit they were ever saved. Others have held to the belief there is no personal God. I think it's important to realize that this is a common response after being in a very abusive "church". We tend to discard everything the assembly taught us, including the truth that we did hear. I found in my own life an equation between the leadership and God. So when I turned against the leadership, I felt I was also turning against God. Because that's how we were taught. I had to rethink how I saw the scriptures and read the Word without the 'distorted lenses' that George Geftakys gave us.

One thing, if you're willing David, is to go to God about all this. I did before I even left the assembly. I was sure He was going to strike me down or otherwise judge me. He didn't! Even though I wasn't doing those things I was taught to do, like daily times in the Word and prayer, etc. God gave me His peace. From the Word of God I found out that God would do anything to be with me, this is the gospel. I didn't have to do anything to measure up to get saved and I don't have to perform to ensure George's conditional salvation. Because our full salvation is given at our initial salvation. He never intended us to perform for Him.

One thing about suicides is that there were always coverups. There was a suicide in the Valley assembly 3-4 years ago. I forgot the brother's name, but I remember he worked at In-N-Out and was from the campus. He was discouraged when he came in because he felt he didn't measure up to God. You can only imagine how the assembly warped his mind. In the days before his suicide, he was continually depressed because he thought he would never be holy. What a burden to bear!

That's all for now,

Eric

Hi Eric Thanks for the thoughts! But I am very happy in the Unitarian Church. I am working with homeless people and I feel I am around the most decent honest people I've ever met. But I would love to talk more. God Bless

Are you the David Mauldin that I knew from Fullerton (The Convelescant Hospital Outreaches about 19 years ago?)

Yes Gre its me!

I was never depressed until I left the Assembly. I am still struggling with depression and anxiety 25 years later. I have to take a cocktail of prescription drugs just to function. I never seriously considered suicide until leaving the cult, and I never had some of the mental problems (bad thoughts) before leaving.