When I entered the path of Bhakti Yoga, I arrived with a lot of baggage.
Everybody enters this path or any other spiritual path with varying degrees of baggage.
This is why some are doing better than others. Many people do not carry heavy loads but are looking for answers and happiness.
Those like myself who need more healing, start feeling a great amount of bliss and relief as soon as we start our practice.
Within a few weeks of seeing the positive effects and getting more serious, you are asked and expected to start helping others no matter how empty your own fridge is.
You are supposed to give what you have been given freely.
They tell you not to focus on yourself but to only focus on God. Focusing on your worries and wounds, is seen as a selfish act. It is called being self-centered.
They tell you to forget about the past and just focus on serving serving serving, chanting, chanting, chanting.
This is why many are still in a state of mental hospital after 30 years of practicing. Healing is not an easy job that you can put under the rug.
You cannot superficially just meditate all day long and hang out with those different personalities who themselves are dealing with their issues.
I cannot say that this process did not offer me some healing. It certainly did but damaged me even more on some level that I have to correct now.
I spent all those years serving and neglecting myself.
After spending many years embarking on very difficult healing journeys, I now understand how superficial the healing the process offered was.
Very deep work is not a group things. It is an individual journey. No guru knows you better than you know yourself.
There is no one formula fits all.
We do not even have think about healing because we have to serve 24/7.
When I look at the people in my group, I now see that even those who are so solid externally, are walking around trauma bonded amd brainwashed.
Absolutely mindless and loyal to somebody who himself deals with many issues.
This is proof to me that this process is not 100% perfect.
We must walk around with our wounds until the day we leave this world.
God loves us unconditionally despite all our craziness and other people must put up with us because nobody’s perfect and that we have to be more tolerant than a tree.
This is how you spend years at a mental hospital with a promise that when you leave this world you will go back to the spiritual planets, free of birth and death.
This is why so many damaged people damage other people in this process because they are still dealing with their inner “demons” and traumas.
All those false paying each other respect and asking for forgiveness is nothing but a bunch of useless BS. it just makes you more tolerant of the nonsense.
People walk around looking for bliss. Bliss is the currency that runs the show.
Hurting other Devotees does not even matter as long as you’re serving God and your spiritual master.
When you see people who are still not completely cured after 30 years you have to ask yourself why? I am not sure I can even blame the process but rather teachers who have no clue what to do. Who have no knowledge of psychology.
And also finding yourself in the midst of hundreds of other souls you must endure.
I truly hope that the sacrifice is worth the price and that God will come and pick them up at the moment of death.
Otherwise it would’ve been an absolute waste of time. To put up with all the austerities of the mind and the body for nothing.
I am not saying that this is a bad path and it is none of my business if some choose to stay in it.
I am extremely glad that I left that mental hospital. That toxic snake pit that pretends to be a safe haven.
Cults steal away our individuality and personalities. We gradually become a mindless, uniform boring person who must act and talk a certain way.
What a beautiful prison!
No amount of bliss or sense of security is worth selling our souls.
Even if hell is awaiting me on the other side, I prefer to heal as deeply as possible. So that I can be a better person for myself and others.
Not walk around with open wounds and lash at anybody who crosses my path.
Healing is an inside and ugly job. It is almost impossible to fully achieve it in a large group of other wounded souls.