Hello everyone. I've been out a year, but could still use some help.
Date: January 28, 2013 07:13AM
How are you all today? Feel free to call me by my screen name. Last spring I took it upon myself to get a girlfriend again. There was one girl at my school who I had talked to a few times and I caught eyeing me all the time. I took fancy to her and after some time got to be where I wanted. Sort of.
She's the one who introduced me to my cult. They all seemed great at first, and all the charisma that you've heard of and probably experienced before was there. Unfortunately, the woman I was seeing made it clear that she didn't want to have a serious relationship while I made it clear I did. At the same time, she was doing everything with me that you'd expect a couple would do. Talk about mixed signals. I eventually got fed up with it and started seeing an old high school friend who I even introduced to the group. I didn't pursue it, but an exgirlfriend of mine told me someone else had a huge crush on me. I think she felt bad for dumping me without any indication of anything being wrong two years prior. Especially since my dad was recovering from cancer at the time. As luck would have it, this new girlfriend whom I also introduced to the group helped me stray from the cult.
The first girl did say she was happy for me, but I later learned this was probably one of many lies I'd encountered. Evidence things were getting sketchy: the cult leader tried to force himself on my new girlfriend while I was away, twice, despite her objections saying she's my girlfriend. He asked, "So what?" He knew I wanted a serious relationship. He was engaged but bisexual and basically the whole group slept with eachother, while I was only ever involved with the girl. They knew I wasn't homophobic, but I guess they viewed me as a prude or old fashioned. By the way, my new girlfriend told me all this. She was also a victim of rape a few years before. I know nothing happened because she immediately told me and I had let her know I believe communication and honesty are fundamental for relationships of any kind. The group knew this too, which is probably something that helped them. My girlfriends roomate, who was also a good friend of mine backed her up. We dated for nine months and I'm forever grateful for all her help. To this day I consider her someone who saved my life. For if I hadn't met her, I'd probably still be with this group or in prison for the things I'd do with my roommate, or at least would be some day.
To make a long story short (edit: nevermind), I had almost been dating this new girl and straying from the group for about three months. After taking her to a show and hanging out with a couple earlier in the day at a museum, about two months after learning about the cult leaders advances, I ran into some people from the group in the parking lot after I dropped my girlfriend off at her dorm. I asked if they wanted to smoke a blunt with me, and the two males obliged while the original girl went back to her room.
That was a car ride I'll never forget.
The group always talked about disagreeing with my Catholic school's policies. I was in agreement with them for the most part, and to some extent still am. I had discussed with them joining student government and how my thesis was all about tolerance. I even tried to form a radio station at the school in hope of making some progress but never got around to it because, well...
during that car ride, both males were talking to me about the comings and going around school. They brought up another person who shared the same mindset we did. My friend who had lived with me in my suite for over a year mentioned that this individual planned on bombing the school. I talked about how crazy that was and the other person in the car seemed to agree, but when everything was said and done it seemed like he was still on their side.
After talking to my roomate privately, I asked him what he thought about all this. He and I admittedly had dabbled in some things we shouldn't have before, so I wanted to make sure everything was fine. Earlier that month, he got caught with the things he shouldn't have had even though he told me he had gotten rid of them. He told me that while it's crazy for the other person to bomb the school, he agreed with it because "it would change things around here very quickly." Backstory on him and I: He and I had this dream of changing America's drug policies. I was foolish enough to believe it could be done by reading tons of hippie literature and spreading things that shouldn't be spread. He and I always agreed that our empire would be nonviolent, which usually is the case with the area of "bad things" that we covered. Suffice to say, despite my foolishness, it was now clear that this individual and the group provided nothing I wanted to be involved with and had been lying to me for a very long time.
After discussing this with my girlfriend and my best friend, I was coming very close to outing them officially. The couple I was with earlier on that fateful night called me later as my girlfriend went to a movie primiere with her girlfriend, a few nights after learning about the plot. Turns out, the terrorist if you will had already been under suspicion. He had his neighbors hold on to a removeable hd for them without them knowing its context. To the best of my current knowledge, the hd contained blueprints of the school and details on how to contruct bombs.
After getting the hd from the neighbors thanks to the help of my friends who were closer with those people than I was, I took the hd to the local police department. When campus pd came, they let me know that they were very grateful for my help but were already somewhat aware of what was going on. Turned out the mother of the first friend I told the situation to let the school know. I had to conduct interviews with campus pd since it was their jurisdiction, which I was hesitant about since my suite was directly connected to their department. In fact, they had expanded it into one of the rooms in our suite. As crazy as it sounds, we were doing bad things right next door. We could hear everything they say. We were always seven steps ahead of them because we kept a low profile before joining the group and used our heads. This is probably another factor of what me so confident, or should I say foolish. Not as foolish as my former roomate though, who stopped hiding in plain site and instead started to rely on voodoo to protect him.
Anyway, I led the police to the cult lair. This was a storm drain in the woods we all would smoke pot in and worship in. There were altars along with candles and graffiti everywhere. Luckily a machete was there which helped prove their intent. It was originally used to clear the vines covering the entrance to the drain, but lately the area had looked more like a place for a ritualistic sacrifice.
Anyway, the aftermath of this was a rumor of me being kicked out of school for being jealous of the first girl I started dating in this story. This of course couldn't be further for the truth, and was simply their counter attack. I moved out for my own safety. I still went to classes, I just had an off campus apartment. As luck would have it, she foolishly mentioned that this was going to be how they'd exact their revenge to one of my best friends after having sex with him. "Because nobody fucks with my friends." He came to me and told me and I told him the whole story. His face: O_O since he had not been aware of anything other than that I smoke pot a lot and should be careful about it.
Anyway I was grateful for his help too, since it essentially gave me a witness to backup my story.
Sorry for the long post, I actually hadn't meant to make it that long. I hope this doesn't mean I'm not as over it as I thought, but I think it does. Here are my current problems.
I really want to chew out the exroomate. He had the nerve to tell me he "deserved" an explanation after he graduated, he couldn't before because of a no contact order. He's the sketchiest of them all though. He may have been involved in anarchist organisations before. According to him, he's built bombs in the school too and was on the FBIs watch list. I had thought he changed his ways. He is just like me exept he could easily be considered the evil twin. I know I should probably let it go, but it irks me to this day. He came back for at least a semester though, so I'm starting to think he might be all talk. He could have had his grades changed too (those who did were punished simply by having their grades changed back unbeknowsgt to them).
I want to do this to the girl too. And maybe the leader.
I also want to know if there was actually a plot to bomb the school. Was there a bomb? Officials told me the hd was too encrypted to prove anything. The offender ultimately got suspsended for stealing a laptop from the IT department which he worked in. A grade changing plot was also uncovered. Turned out anyone in his frat could get their grades changed by him for a nominal fee. When he left, they all gave him awards and a bunch of bull****. The ultimate irony here being I always joked that frats and sororities were cults.
Should I tell the FBI/ATF/DEA? The only person who got in bad trouble was the terrorist. And he only got suspended. He was even allowed to finish his classes online. Everyone else just got community service, letters to parents, fines, etc. As far as I know government agencies and even most of the city knows nothing about this situation. The school higherups love me, but nothing was released because it's a private Catholic institution. They seemingly just didn't want bad press. They have also been going through a lot of changes, and according to research while I was in the group and even before with the roommate, the school is short on money. Even some teachers believed their side of the story. Furthermore, if anything were to happen to me I'd want there to be a well known reason why. I'm also hesitant because of the things I did with my friend before joining the group. The police I believe busted him for that later on too, but I can't be sure. According to them I couldn't get in trouble for pot and stuff since I came out and realized what I had did was wrong, but this is a little different I feel.
My first exgirlfriend also believed their story judging from a conversation I had with her about it. The one who introduced me to the new girl. I am torn to tell her the true story or not, as when she asked me about it before but I wasn't at liberty to say anything regarding the case.
The friend I came out to also no longer speaks to me. He was at my apartment one night and we had a disagreement. We had both been smoking and drinking, and for some reason he tried gabbing a hot pan that I was washing in the sink and burned himself. He's a long story too. I'd like to try to rekindle our friendship or at least be cordial considering we've been through much more than just this situation, but I'm not sure how. I was cooking and burned the 1st burger so he wanted to cook the 2nd one. He was blocking my way to the sink and I asked him to move and he was rude about it. I had previously burned food while cooking for him before, so the joke turned sour. I was really wanting to learn since I was newly independent again and finally living in an apartment on my own. He grabbed the pan though and I held onto it because I was sick of people trying to manipulate me. I let go trying not to cause an accident, and unfortunately did.
Anyway, that's about it. Thanks for everything in advance. I am getting a book on these situations and doing other research online. Any help would be appreciated. I might want to see a counselor, but I think my parents feel like they're sick of hearing about the situation. We're also experiencing economic problems like most families today. They also don't know anything other than I smoked pot and got involved with this sketchy group. :/