That is horrifying, there's no other word to describe it. Oh, yeah there is . . . totally non-Buddhist. Is his family still practicing? These people are so twisted, and they actually think they're right and there's no room for any doubt. Poor kid. I'm surprised the leaders didn't blame her for the whole thing, since she was obviously diluting her practice and polluting her mind with that non-sgi feng shui crap.

The whole thing is so enfeculated (a family word for "encrusted with s**t"), that it's beyond cleaning up. And these people are completely zombified - I feel like I've just emerged from a fully-consensual mind-rape. I'm still thanking my lucky stars that I found this site and I can talk about how effed up the whole thing is.

I talked to the friend that shakubuku'd me today; we've been friends for many years, and long before I signed on, so we have a lot in common outside the organization, and we talk nearly every day. I'm progressively more stunned at some of the total crap that comes out of her mouth. I've been laid off for awhile, and it's tough surviving on unemployment which will go away since the sequestration has removed extensions. I got a little panicky a couple of weeks ago, and suddenly realized that I'm eligible for social security. No mystic voice whispered this into my ear, by the by, I just realized it all by my very own self. I was originally told that it would probably be two months before I'd start receiving benefits from them. I had a surprising phone call today, and they said I would begin receiving them next week. When I told my friend about it, she said "well, I'm sure it's from chanting." Honestly, I thought she was kidding - I chuckled and told her that I wasn't sure how to respond to that. She petulantly changed the subject with her next breath. Perfect example of the utter blindness these people have . . . good things can only come from chanting, and if they do (especially to someone who's left the org), well, we just won't talk about them. I'm kind of surprised that she didn't tell me that I'm lucky that I'm receiving it at all, since not chanting should create a totally suck-filled life.

I did have one call after sending out my little letter today; it's one of those leaders who don't use email (her husband checks it all the time and will probably have to change his underwear after he reads mine). I'm just going to start logging the calls and saving the emails and any other correspondence now.

I don't think I'll ever join anything again . . . I'm not even sure I want one of those buy-10-cups-get-one-cup-free cards from Starbuck's . . .

These posts are wonderful and don't take away from the confirmation that SGI works out of both sides of its mouth. The whole "WINNING!!!" was always another thorn in my side. Because "FAILING!" means you are a.....miserable failure, right?? Win or lose, I mean, it put such a negative connotation on losing. We all lose, as well as win in our lives--come on, now!

Like I said before, SGI die-hards have more crapola happen to them than the average bear. They soldier on and try to overcome the endless (and a lot of times), endlessly esculating karma in the name of permanently changing said karmas. The situation with this poor young gentleman that T&P outlined above is point-by-point proof. As well as her district leader passing early, the other leader who tried valiantly to get T&P to get rid of those lovely gohonzons, etc. etc.

I never got major member care in the last several years where I'm at. I could have been thrown out with the bathwater for all the contact I got. Since it's been made very apparent that there is no longer interest on my part, the member care has dropped off the face of the universe. Which is fiiiinnnne by me. I've known some great people over the years who are still members and leaders. Just good peeps. I wish them well.

Thanks, T&P, meh, and Hitch for your insights and also sharing your letters to the SGI about officially leaving.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/07/2013 07:06AM by Shavoy.

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meh
That is horrifying, there's no other word to describe it. Oh, yeah there is . . . totally non-Buddhist. Is his family still practicing? These people are so twisted, and they actually think they're right and there's no room for any doubt. Poor kid. I'm surprised the leaders didn't blame her for the whole thing, since she was obviously diluting her practice and polluting her mind with that non-sgi feng shui crap.

The whole thing is so enfeculated (a family word for "encrusted with s**t"), that it's beyond cleaning up. And these people are completely zombified - I feel like I've just emerged from a fully-consensual mind-rape. I'm still thanking my lucky stars that I found this site and I can talk about how effed up the whole thing is.

I talked to the friend that shakubuku'd me today; we've been friends for many years, and long before I signed on, so we have a lot in common outside the organization, and we talk nearly every day. I'm progressively more stunned at some of the total crap that comes out of her mouth. I've been laid off for awhile, and it's tough surviving on unemployment which will go away since the sequestration has removed extensions. I got a little panicky a couple of weeks ago, and suddenly realized that I'm eligible for social security. No mystic voice whispered this into my ear, by the by, I just realized it all by my very own self. I was originally told that it would probably be two months before I'd start receiving benefits from them. I had a surprising phone call today, and they said I would begin receiving them next week. When I told my friend about it, she said "well, I'm sure it's from chanting." Honestly, I thought she was kidding - I chuckled and told her that I wasn't sure how to respond to that. She petulantly changed the subject with her next breath. Perfect example of the utter blindness these people have . . . good things can only come from chanting, and if they do (especially to someone who's left the org), well, we just won't talk about them. I'm kind of surprised that she didn't tell me that I'm lucky that I'm receiving it at all, since not chanting should create a totally suck-filled life.

I did have one call after sending out my little letter today; it's one of those leaders who don't use email (her husband checks it all the time and will probably have to change his underwear after he reads mine). I'm just going to start logging the calls and saving the emails and any other correspondence now.

I don't think I'll ever join anything again . . . I'm not even sure I want one of those buy-10-cups-get-one-cup-free cards from Starbuck's . . .

meh, in regards to your friend....She knows you've stopped chanting, right? Wow. You are no longer chanting and participating and your happy news about SS benefits had to come from something you are no longer doing? Maybe she thought it was the leftover reserve from your former Bank of Daimoku..? Listen, I don't want to rag on your friend, so I apologize. It's just the way we were taught to think in the SGI.

Amazing, though. Congratulations again!

I loved that Bank of Daimoku - a branch in every heart. Maybe my good luck came to me, one of the tellers is going to realize that my account is empty and the check is going to bounce! No, rag away . . . she absolutely knows that I've stopped chanting, which was why I truly thought she was kidding. I was originally worried about her wanting to stay friends with me; now I'm not sure I can get beyond the drivel-spoutage. Generally, she's been pretty good about it, but she's a walking example of how insidious the org is. She and the other bots simply cannot see it; this garbage is so ingrained in who they are that they would be utterly lost without it, and no vocabulary without the jargon. I love words in general, but now when I hear "experience" or any of that other anal leakage, it just makes me cringe. She's unconscious about incorporating the cult-speak in her daily conversations. Probably a good thing that she's too paranoid to leave her house most of the time . . . wait! Where are those shoten zenjin that are supposed to be protecting her?!?

It is amazing though - rather than "good fortune" or "benefit," I think I just happened to hit the application process while they were going through a slow period. Some might call, and please forgive me, plain dumb luck.

Two more phone calls this evening, from a group leader . . . I'm keeping my little log. I'm having this pleasant little fantasy in which sgi is generally funding my retirement. Just kidding, but I'm a big fan of irony.

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Perfect example of the utter blindness these people have . . . good things can only come from chanting, and if they do (especially to someone who's left the org), well, we just won't talk about them. I'm kind of surprised that she didn't tell me that I'm lucky that I'm receiving it at all, since not chanting should create a totally suck-filled life.

During my leadership years, I got to hear a lot of leaderspeak about many topics, including this exact one.

It's interesting, even His Lordship Daisaku Fatman has acknowledged that, upon leaving the organization, one's life will seem easier - for a while. Then blah blah "correct orbit of the organization" blah blahbitty blah etc. I read that years ago.

I was told that, when people leave the organization, their lives deteriorate. Oh, it can take a while, because the good fortune they've accumulated through their practice up to that point takes a while to run through. Your life is compared to a large container - somehow, I'm thinking a ship - and as you chant and do activities and give LOTS of money to the organization, of course, you are filling this container. But when you don't practice hard enough, not as much "fortune" accumulates. Suddenly I'm realizing that I don't remember really clearly - perhaps someone can help me out. Is it that this container comes with a hole in the bottom, so you have to keep filling it in order to not run out? If it were a ship, the contents wouldn't run out so much as the water would rush IN, so that wouldn't work... Or is it that, when you leave the organization, you punch a hole in this container and then all your accumulated fortune starts to drain away?

Whatever. Anyhow, however much/long/well you practiced means you've accumulated at least SOME fortune, so for a while after, good things will still happen for you, because you've still got some fortune left. The basic idea is that nothing good can happen to you unless you make some fortune by practicing. So anything good that happens is from your leftover fortune.

I remember a leader telling me that, when people leave, their life conditions deteriorate. Then, when they come back (it was always couched in terms of WHEN, not IF, they come back, BTW), it's like they went BACKWARD - it's like they have to start farther back than they were when they left! You don't want THAT to happen to you, now do you?? And these poor souls always acknowledge how much ground they lost during their ill-considered hiatus from the organization. Of course, they're so glad to be back that they'll NEVER do THAT again - you can count on it! A hard lesson learned!

Barf O_O

Certain individuals were pointed out as examples - of course I would have never considered going up to them and asking them if what I had heard was true. The stories were to be accepted at face value, you see O_O

The reality is that good things happen. To everyone. To anyone. You don't have to do anything special to have good things happen to you - they're part of life. All the religions that I know of want you to think that, if you just do as they tell you, extra extra-good things will happen to reward you for your obedience. But too often, a "benefit" takes this form: "I was walking along and I was thirsty, and I found a nickel! When I added it to the rest of the change I already had in my pocket, I had enough to buy a Coke! Thank you, Gohonzon!!" >>wild applause<<

O_O

For me, magical thinking was the last of my superstitions to go. It was the one that lurked longest in the shadows of my psyche, that took me the longest to discover and realize was there. I know where I got it; intensive early childhood indoctrination into Evangelical Christianity did the trick. That, incidentally, is also why the SGI was such a good fit: intolerant, evangelical, "we're better than everyone else" - see where this is going? It was in a discussion online, where this one guy I was friends with nailed me to the freakin' wall about daimoku, that woke me up. I believed that one could change something all the way across the world by chanting, because of the doctrine of the oneness of life and its environment. It is doctrinally correct to think that, if you do not like the situation in, say, Syria, you can chant and it will change - magically! As a manifestation of your changed life condition! YAY!! I'm embarrassed to tell you this, but, as you can predict, it led to some rather insane wackiness on my part. At my last job, in a restaurant, I had this co-worker I really liked. He was waitering, but had a background in broadband communications. Apparently, on his time off, he was doing all sorts of wifi stuff. In other words, he should have been working in THAT field instead of the food service field. So I chanted, and a while later, he was talking with a customer who turned out to work in the broadband industry, and that led to a full-time corporate job for him.

I felt that he should have thanked ME for getting him that job O_O

Because I sat on my ass and muttered gibberish and thought *special* thoughts O_O

You can see why I'm embarrassed about that!

But anyhow, back to my story, that online friend kept asking me how it worked. How did it work, that me sitting on my ass and chanting transforms into political change over in Syria (or wherever)? How did it work? What was the mechanism? If "Buddhism is common sense," as the SGI says, we should be able to explain how it works, right? We shouldn't have to resort to, "It's basically magic, okay??"

I realized I had *nothing*. I couldn't explain why me sitting on my ass and saying magic words over and over could change something across the world in a place where I'd never even been. Without resorting to the "It's just magic and thus can't be explained" angle. I could see, though, that believing I was helping (by basically doing *nothing*) relieved me of potential guilt feelings for seeing need and not actually doing *ANYTHING* to help.

And that was the end of magical thinking for me. What I realized, though, in the aftermath of shedding that skin was that my attachment to magical thinking stemmed from a deep, terrible belief that, if I didn't have some sort of supernatural/magical assistance (talisman, relationship, incantation, spell, benevolent deity or equivalent), I would not be able to succeed in *ANYTHING*! I would not be able to even SURVIVE! How horrifying! I was terrified that, left to my own devices, I would crash and burn spectacularly, and everyone would laugh at me and regard me with contempt. Two of the most devastating experiences for a social animal like a human being - ostracization and rejection.

The thing is, though, that at this point, I could *see* this delusion for what it was! I could *see* where the fear came from, and I realized that its root was irrational. It was a false belief that had been frightened into me as a child before I had developed the mental ability to think critically, that I hadn't even been aware of because it had become lodged in my subconscious, from where it drove me relentlessly.

THIS is why all the religions want to indoctrinate their members' children from infancy O_O It is the worst form of child abuse.

So once I was able to *see* it for what it was, it lost its power over me. I was free! And let me tell you, life is infinitely sweeter when one can observe and experience it without being driven by fear. Look around you; you'll see most everyone driven by fear. Terrified of anyone/anything different. Terrified of the government. Terrified of anyone/everyone in authority. And eager to punish and harm anyone weaker than themselves (think convicts and immigrants). These are abused children all grown up and still terrified of being abused, brimming with rage over the indignity of it all, a rage that can only be vented on someone less powerful, the way someone powerful abused them when they were less powerful. That, BTW, is actually a normal psychological reaction to being abused as a child. That is conservative, fundamentalist, Republican - all names for the same syndrome.

The reality is that this is a world that is full of good things. It is full of beauty. It is full of kindness. It is full of goodness! Of course there is a lot to be done. Too many broken individuals needing to be healed. Too many people falling through the gaping holes in our inadequate, stingy social safety net. Too many lies, too much greed, too much fear, too much hatred. That is why intolerant religions sell so well in the US - it has inadequate social programs to protect people from disaster. And when people are afraid, they are fair game for intolerant religions that promise magical relief for real world problems. Too bad it doesn't work...

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meh
The whole thing is so enfeculated (a family word for "encrusted with s**t"), that it's beyond cleaning up. And these people are completely zombified - I feel like I've just emerged from a fully-consensual mind-rape. I'm still thanking my lucky stars that I found this site and I can talk about how effed up the whole thing is.

I would not go as far as to say "fully-consentual" mind-rape. They are not forthcoming in telling you they are trying to change you from the deepest levels of your unconscious with all the Pavlovian bell ringing, the trance induction, the manipulation, the weasel words and double-speak, the infantilization until you can't make your own decisions any more and mind-stopping by making you go to the leaders for "guidance" and straight away chant to a piece of paper any time you feel even a little stressed. If they were more forthcoming instead of using weasel words like "this powerful practice will help change you in a profound way to prepare you for Cousin Rufus." Sorry about the lingo, but it was necessary here.

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meh
I talked to the friend that shakubuku'd me today; we've been friends for many years, and long before I signed on, so we have a lot in common outside the organization, and we talk nearly every day. I'm progressively more stunned at some of the total crap that comes out of her mouth.

Don't you mean "enfeculated"? I'm starting to notice that too now that I look back. It's no wonder I never felt like I got an answer to some of the tougher questions I have asked.

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meh
I've been laid off for awhile, and it's tough surviving on unemployment which will go away since the sequestration has removed extensions. I got a little panicky a couple of weeks ago, and suddenly realized that I'm eligible for social security. No mystic voice whispered this into my ear, by the by, I just realized it all by my very own self. I was originally told that it would probably be two months before I'd start receiving benefits from them.

I don't remember ever being given a time frame. Your group must have really been on a tight schedule. I really hope you didn't disappoint them. *wink*

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meh
I had a surprising phone call today, and they said I would begin receiving them next week. When I told my friend about it, she said "well, I'm sure it's from chanting." Honestly, I thought she was kidding - I chuckled and told her that I wasn't sure how to respond to that. She petulantly changed the subject with her next breath. Perfect example of the utter blindness these people have . . . good things can only come from chanting, and if they do (especially to someone who's left the org), well, we just won't talk about them. I'm kind of surprised that she didn't tell me that I'm lucky that I'm receiving it at all, since not chanting should create a totally suck-filled life.

Even if you did, I would hardly consider you being harassed on the phone a good thing, but you're probably right about being willingly blinded.

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meh
I don't think I'll ever join anything again . . . I'm not even sure I want one of those buy-10-cups-get-one-cup-free cards from Starbuck's . . .

I am in the same boat, so to speak. I hope it stays this way and learned from this "experience" that I have "fundamentally changed myself on a truly profound level" enough to stay away from these con-artists. Quotes also added because I truly cannot stand saying those things but I feel like being sarcastic at this moment.

I would also like to add a thank you for the letters you guys posted. I wish I had thought of that but if I get any more correspondence than I have so far, I may just do that.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 06/07/2013 03:28PM by sleepy skunk.

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TaitenAndProud
I was told that, when people leave the organization, their lives deteriorate. Oh, it can take a while, because the good fortune they've accumulated through their practice up to that point takes a while to run through. Your life is compared to a large container - somehow, I'm thinking a ship - and as you chant and do activities and give LOTS of money to the organization, of course, you are filling this container. But when you don't practice hard enough, not as much "fortune" accumulates. Suddenly I'm realizing that I don't remember really clearly - perhaps someone can help me out. Is it that this container comes with a hole in the bottom, so you have to keep filling it in order to not run out? If it were a ship, the contents wouldn't run out so much as the water would rush IN, so that wouldn't work... Or is it that, when you leave the organization, you punch a hole in this container and then all your accumulated fortune starts to drain away?

That is an old gakkai / N$A favorite tale, relayed in many different versions.

Here's one version (starts right at the beginning of the clip, too) being relayed by the old mini-cult-master-boss Williams-Sadanaga [www.youtube.com].

Listening to it now, it all sounds so utterly stupid and manipulative. The aggressive / forceful manner of speaking is the gakkai cult org. behavioral pattern of emphasizing every few words in a sentence. It is so transparent and intended to override your brain, while appealling directly to your emotions. Ikeda-bots genuinely believe that they are feeling and soaking up the "ichinen" (just listen to the earnest "hai's" being uttered by some audience cult members). I call this kind of visceral-emotional reaction the "gakkai cult org. "high"" that many members are addicted to and ultimately want from a really "successful" (cult lingo) meeting. It's like getting a big gulp of extra sugary-syrupy kool-aid that makes you crave more and more. They leave more deluded and more "determined" (cult lingo) to serve the cult org..

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TaitenAndProud
But too often, a "benefit" takes this form: "I was walking along and I was thirsty, and I found a nickel! When I added it to the rest of the change I already had in my pocket, I had enough to buy a Coke! Thank you, Gohonzon!!" >>wild applause<<

Absolutely correct. I even remember hearing "experiences" about people being late for a cult meeting, but convincing themselves that because they were "in rhythm" with Cousin Rufus, all of the traffic signals were green just for them, parting the sea of cars just in time for them to make it to their cult activity. They were usually chanting on the way, too.

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TaitenAndProud
I felt that he should have thanked ME for getting him that job O_O

Because I sat on my ass and muttered gibberish and thought *special* thoughts O_O

You've just described a typical "leader" who has come to believe themselves to be some kind of human oracle. Being placed on a pedestal and otherwise treated as special by the membership also reinforces their psychological delusion. This is very pervasive in the motherland and I also saw it a lot in its most extreme forms with some of the Japanese $GI-USA cult org. leaders. Members being pressured to reveal their most intimate personal problems to almost complete strangers, because they were held up to be some kind of magic wisdom gakkai oracle - just speaking to them to get "guidance" billed as a once in a lifetime benefit or karmic changing opportunity. That kind of stuff truly annoyed me. I always tried to interject some reality to some of people who were falling for it all, those who I thought might be open the suggestion. Nothing but a bunch of charlatans putting on a show.

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TaitenAndProud
THIS is why all the religions want to indoctrinate their members' children from infancy O_O It is the worst form of child abuse.

That's exactly what the gakkai cult org. tried to do to me. The only thing that can save you is education, informing yourself (this board is probably the best resource on the net when it comes to the gakkai cult org.) and (non-selective / non-compartmentalized) critical thinking.


- Hitch

Human beings seem prone to magical thinking - knocking on wood, no open umbrellas indoors, athletes that have to wear their cap a certain way - we're surrounded by superstition every day. Sgi has taken it to the next level, though . . . they have their magic chant, magic scroll and ritualized approaches to dealing with life. When someone recounts a really goofy experience, finding a nickel when you're thirsty or a wave of green lights on the way to a meeting, the room claps and cheers like you've found a cure for cancer and reinforces the belief that you influenced that by chanting. Someone on the mb referred to this a kind of bias . . . you put events into the context you're being trained to put them into. And, because we are social animals, we want to fit into the happy new group of people who seem to love, accept and approve of us so we start to subtly adapt our views to meet those of our peers. By accident or design, they've identified a formula that works - I'm not sure if the organization started out that way or if they just sat back one day and said "holy crap, guys, we're making a bunch of money here! Let's figure out how to make lots more!"

And we're here with all of the fallout - sleepy skunk, when I said that I'd been given a two-month time-frame, you assumed I'd meant by sgi . . . I meant that social security had told me it would take about two months. I probably wasn't super-clear on that, but it's an example of how we inject sgi into everything. It's so jammed into our heads, one way or another. I really resent that, and it seems that it's going to take a long time for some of us to get past that completely. Is there anything worse than trust that has been so deeply and profoundly betrayed?

Someone here posted a video of a little boy doing the fan-dance, and I couldn't watch more than a second or two of it. That little guy is going to be so screwed up, and I thought about all of the other kids who are being indoctrinated. I went to the Rock the Era event in Philly a couple of years ago and was sucked in from the moment the taiko drums started . . . so invigorating, so primal, so . . . hypnotic? The rest of the event is almost a haze. I remember lots of (bad) music and that's about it. What's crystal-clear in my mind, though, is all of those sincere young faces, and it almost makes me want to cry. Those kids do not have a snowball's chance in hell of having normal lives. If we're so damaged as adults (and I'm gathering that many here came to the practice as adults), how effed up are these kids going to be? I'm glad that the org is having so much trouble bringing in young people - maybe it will die off through attrition, like the shakers. One can only hope.

There really were times after the first couple of years that I had doubts, but convinced myself that it was those nasty devilish functions that were working on me, so I pressed on. Much of it started to seem silly and just wrong. One of the big things for me was the anti-temple stuff; I couldn't get my head around how hostile (and non-Buddhist) that whole thing is; nsa members and sgi members chanted side by side for decades, and all of a sudden they were the enemy? When I asked a leader about the hostility (I do know the so-called history from long-time members, so I know that a lot of nasty stuff supposedly went on), and my question was greeted with shock. Well, there's no hostility, I was told (somewhat angrily) . . . they were practicing the wrong way and, while we were trying to keep out own members from going over to the dark side, the focus was to get the temple members to start practicing correctly! This was so counter to what I was hearing and reading - it was apples and oranges.

Another thing that really, really, really pissed me off happened this past spring. I started working on a contract that was a difficult commute for me; it was a long-term contract, and I decided that I would move closer . . . I mentioned this at a meeting and a chanting campaign began, unbeknownst to me, to keep me here. When the position was suddenly eliminated two months into the contract, people bounced up and down in their seats that I would not be moving (reminiscent of Tom Cruise on Oprah when he was speaking of his love for Katy What's-her-face). Ass-clowns, did you hear the part where I've lost my job? I didn't think for a moment that their chanting had any influence, but their glee that I was staying in the district and utter nonchalance about being unemployed appalled me. It was yet another clear example of valuing the org over the individual member; shouldn't they have been chanting for my happiness? Apparently not.

The boogah-boogah about good fortune lasting for awhile after you leave is yet more garbage. There's probably some scientific explanation about specific endorphins (or something) hanging around in your brain chemistry for awhile that might leave a person doubting their decision to leave vulnerable to being influenced back in, or maybe it's just the deep conditioning. I wouldn't be surprised if there's an unspoken schedule that leaders contact defectors on. Since last Friday, when I sent the leaders my resignation letter, I've had more than a dozen calls, coming in waves. I got my official letter to Klub House HQ off yesterday, copying the local leaders, so hopefully that'll put an end to things.

Yeah, "profoundly changed on a fundamental level" here, too. I've always been a little naïve and gullible, but no more magic beans for me. I really do love Buddhism, but will study on my own; there are too many greedy charlatans out there and my trust in any of them is zero.

My experiences with SGI are not unique, but after being gone for several years I feel like they should be heard. I was first introduced to SGI in 1988 when I was quite young, but didn't stick with it. Fast forward 10 years later and I happened to take a job at a company where the person that originally introduced me and then worked with another member for several years. At that time, I got back involved and just enjoyed feeling of community. Quickly, however, I was encouraged to get more involved for which I had the time or interest and I again drifted away, but missed that sense of community. After having lived out of town for a couple of years, I moved back to KY and really wanted to get back involved with the SGI. The whole time my draw to the organization was the focus on members and what appeared to be little to no control from leaders. My district really followed the principle of supporting members (and more than just chanting) and I felt like we were accomplishing good things.

After a couple of years, I was a district leader, ran intro meetings, started a group of the lgbt members and go the organization involved in some community activities. That was about the time the Ikeda videos started being played at KRG and district meetings. The focus of everything shifted from members to Ikeda. In addition a member moved to the area from Chicago and it was as if a second Ikeda had shown up. When I started to question the "Ikeda as your mentor" I was just encouraged to chant more and read more about him and "his struggles." While this was going on, I was encouraging members to find their own mentor even if that person wasn't an SGI member. It wasn't the intention to take away from the organization, but that's how I was taught and what I believe. Within a few weeks I was suddenly a bit problem to the leaders.

The person coming from Chicago was sending inflammatory messages criticizing everyone and when I responded that I disagreed with some of what he said, I was that I shouldn't have responded. After that same person sent out incorrect messages to the district and the district leaders, at my suggestion, put together some guidelines on communicating with members it wouldn't happen again and be less confusing to members (people were showing up in the wrong places or times). I was then told that I couldn't do that and he had the right to do whatever he wanted, and I couldn't say or do anything. I was contacted by two area leaders for a meeting. At that time I was gently instructed that I must accept Ikeda as my mentor and be vocal about it. My reluctance of that was nothing more than a weak practice and not understanding the mentor/disciple relationship. After that and other incidences I finally made the decision to leave. My resignation was sent out via email so that I could reach as many as possible. The replies were blaming and criticized my practice and told I was weak.

What bothered me most is this caring and supportive organization, just didn't call again. Friends that I considered close just cut off communication. One in particular bothered me because I know her entire family, but because I wouldn't read the SGI books she suggested and accept Ikeda all communication stopped. It's been several years since all this happened. I'm comfortable with my decision, but miss the practice and the sense of community. This is a cunning organization and it's important for everyone to come forward and share their story.

My apologies for the rambling message. I appreciate everyone sharing their stories to know my experiences weren't entirely unique.

AmusedKY, that is an interesting moniker you've got there. It's nice to see someone who clearly got out unscathed by the whole ordeal. Your long and rambling post might seem that way to you but for the rest of the people who come here, even those who are lurking can find some use to every post, and that includes yours. We're all here for one purpose and that is to derail the SGI train. So as you can see, everyone has a special use in here, a new purpose so to speak. Welcome aboard! :)