Blockbuster SGI report:

[www.buddhajones.com]

and

[www.buddhajones.com]

Nichijew

Welcome, eyzopen and sporadica! I'm in my fourth week on this message board and recovery from sgi; being here has made it so much easier to leave the org. If I ever question my decision or feel a bit wobbly, I can come to the mb and find something that gives me a boost.

Eyzopen, Í suggest that you be kind and forgiving with yourself . . . you are not stupid for having fallen for the morass of BS. When you're being love-bombed, encouraged, told you're wonderful, blah-blah-blah, it's hard not to feel like you've finally found a group of people who love and accept you. And look at the level of intelligence of the people on this board - none of us are stupid. Every one of us had a vulnerable moment, and sgi oozed into the crack like the slime that it is.

I'd like to comment about the attitude towards volunteers; it's universal. I've done volunteer work with a number of organizations, and (in my experience, anyway) nearly every single one treats its volunteers like crap. My particular volunteer arena was living history (yeah, I'm ok with that level of geek-itude); I spent thousands of dollars on clothing, cooking equipment, antique toys to support my various presentations - the park service and other historic sites pretty much all treat their volunteers as completely expendable - no level of appreciation whatsoever. If you do any volunteer activities, I think you pretty much need to count on the personal boost you get for doing whatever you do; don't count on someone else to appreciate your efforts unless you're in a position to provide a huge donation to something significant. Otherwise, you're just a chunk of cooperative meat that the organization gets free work out of.

As I've mentioned previously, I still haven't figured out what to do with my gohonzons (I also have an omamori gohonzon - the convenient travel-size!) or my butsudan. I don't think I will ever chant anything again, and I'm uncomfortable looking at them . . . I don't want to sell them because I feel like I'd be enabling someone with their connection to sgi, and I can't bring myself to just throw them away. Well, it's only been four weeks, and I'm sure a solution will come to me. I don't feel any more than a wtf-was-I-thinking kind of connection to them. Actually, I have a small wooden butsudan that might convert nicely over into a spice cupboard!

Use a gohonzan to store TP?

Convert to a book case and fill it full of books on genuine Buddhadharma and items such as Cialdini's book on social influence, Margaret Singer's Cults in Our Midst.

And guilty pleasure comic books and DVDs.?

To make up for all the time you could not play and have fun in SGI.

Use a gohonzon to line the bottom of a bird cage? It's too flimsy and short to stack a useful amount of toilet paper on!

I have one of the small wooden butsudans, so while I could use it to store items which I will not speak of here, I'm liking the idea of a spice cabinet. I cook a lot and could use the annex storage.

One of the things I'm enjoying most, in terms of play and fun, is meeting new people and not feeling like I have to size them up for shakubuku-ing. I didn't realize how much I did that before! I was spectacularly (and thankfully) unsuccessful at the whole shakubuku thing - I was always too embarrassed . . . too much like "have you accepted Jesus as your personal savior?" The one person I was working on (the girlfriend of my favorite ex-husband . . . yeah, long story), I have contacted and apologized too. She did start chanting but never got sucked into sgi - it icked her out. I had to laugh at one of her recent emails; she said that while she'd met some really nice people, when she attended a meeting she was total creeped out by visitors from the "mother ship" (her term, meaning the high-level leadership from her area).

Okay, the whole Walter Williams thing. It's possible that he sought guidance about his pedophilia, but he'd never admit to that (to protect leadership) and leadership will never admit to having any knowledge of the issue. As much as I love the idea of sgi turning into the Buddhist version of Catholicism, I think that there would be too much denial and too little hard evidence to hold them complicit. On the other hand, maybe it will result in more critical reviews of the org, and that can't be a bad thing. And maybe parents who are having questions of their own will no longer feel comfortable handing their kids over to these leaders. Any wedge is a good thing.

I kind of doubt that he sought guidance about it - his craving for leadership approval would over-ride his need to seek that out, and I don't think that there's a pedophile alive that thinks s/he would find any kind of support. If he'd been previously arrested and leadership helped him get out of it, that might change the picture, but only slightly. I'm not sure if that whole confidentiality-of-the-confession extends to amateur clergy.

Don't forget the good old shoten-zenjin; the parents of the boys who were molested obviously weren't chanting enough, their practices weren't strong and they hadn't bonded with Senseless's heart. It was their defects that allowed this devilish influence into their children's lives . . . no fault of the organization. Can you imagine how much guilt those poor sods are feeling right now?

Thank you, dear Meh! = ) You read my mind...this is the place when feeling wobbly.
I've definitely experienced a slowing down, a lower energy level (Quelle horreur! Maybe's there's something to chanting afterall!) = o but then realize maybe I'm emotionally EXHAUSTED after years of feeling goal driven, conflicted and inadequate? Even if I wasn't active towards the end, it's the internal pressure of feeling not good enough, not meeting your goals, of letting people down! Maybe slowing down is healthy or a little che sera, sera is a good thing? Hey, it's Summertime! Cue Mungo Jerry or Canned Heat and jump in the river! Get to know your lazy, barefoot self! I am no longer personally responsible for world peace - when idealism becomes pathological naricissism!
What I'm trying to say is, if you ever feel wobbly, it might be a symptom of healing!
(It takes awhile....there have been times when I've caught myself chanting in my head when things were unpleasant and realized it was no different than a kid putting their hands over their ears & going LALALALA!)

As for what to do with the scrolls - mailing them to the nearest centre, with or without cover letter, is a dignified exit. If there is response, you don't have to answer. Returning your scrolls is statement enough. Finito. You don't have to engage or debate. Please allow me one moment of magical thinking - sometimes a metaphor comes to life. The road to my post office has a few flowering trees. When walking there and back, on a "mission" to unload this burden, the breeze scattered white blossoms all around - "U Mandara Ke" for a Gohonzon returning reprobate! ; ) Synchronistic woowoo message: Whatever loveliness there is, is - and its for everybody, with or without scroll!

As for the Butsudan, guess I'll give it to a handyman friend who can reconstruct/recreate things out of pieces because it would scare the folks at St. Vincents. Wish I could keep an aesthetically pleasing object, but it triggers memories of tears, fears and why my knees hurt!

That's great about being a historical re-enactor! We're all Gladiators here!

Right now, I'm embracing my inner lazy self! I think all the chanting and frenzied activity produced an artificial sense of movement without any real action. As you point out, eyzopen, it's summertime and the livin' is easy. I think there is a large element of emotional exhaustion as well, that's been built up during the years of practice - we haven't been able to acknowledge it, because that would show everybody just what crappy practitioners we were. All that happy-slappy BS was supposed to energize us; being able to actually relax and take deep breaths seems like a luxury. There's an inner tension that is completely gone. And the wobblies ARE a good thing, and a symptom of getting all that hokey-pokey out of my system; being wobbly and uncertain sometimes is a part of the human condition; I don't ever want to have that grim sense of righteousness and certitude that I had as a zombie again.

Sending the gohonzons back to the center sounds right - there will be a cover letter (or at least a return address), because I want to make it clear who they're coming from. If anyone is having any doubts about their own practice, I want to keep reminding them that I've left and that my life is moving forward.

Quote
Sporatica
The last straw was when they stranded my mom in San Diego. The bus broke down. The group was left waiting on the side of the road. Then they shuffled her to a cheap motel and crammed her into a room with four people, instead of two. Running late, they shuttled her to the convention center and assigned her to "clean the tunnels," at which point they neglected to retrieve her for food.

At some point the next day, they dropped her at the nice hotel the leaders were staying at and offered to feed her - but all that was left were a few bagels. After the bagel, they took her back to the cheap motel (along with another member) and essentially - left with out the two of them. 48 hours of travel, hard work, no sleep, and then stranded in San Diego. My weekend was bad, but hers was much worse.

Buses were always breaking down on the big cult trips, because the cheap @ss cult org. often used cheapo bus companies. I can recall at least half a dozen or more incidents with buses breaking down during mass movement campaigns. The YMD were usually on the yellow school buses (with torn seats, bad shocks and natural windows-that didn't go down all the way- a/c), while the adult members got the nicer, plush buses with bathrooms and an a/c (I distinctly remember one planning meeting where they made it very clear that they wouldn't tolerate a cheap-o bus for the next trip and demanded something more comfortable, so that they could enjoy their obento-rice ball picnics properly).

And yes, . . . . . they were sticking everyone into the hotels, 3-4 to a room during that San Diego campaign. I remember some men's division members, as soon as they found out after arriving, turned around and left. I even begged one to please take me with him and seriously contemplated hitchhiking back myself.

It was so common for cult org. Ikeda-bots, being run ragged during campaigns, to do all kinds of incompetent things. I saw it all the time and was sometimes even on the receiving end of it, just like your mother.

The San Diego event was epic chaos on a massive scale, like the three stooges running a show. They always used to say, "No Accidents, No accidents . . . ", but there were, all the time. It was just like some kind of bad comedy, except it was real life.

****

Quote
Nichijew
Blockbuster SGI report:

[www.buddhajones.com]

and

[www.buddhajones.com]

Nichijew

Another twisted asianophile is associated / attracted to the gakkai cult org.. Common theme, unfortunately.

Nichijew, btw, what happened to your website? It seems to be gone completely.



- Hitch



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/27/2013 05:57AM by Hitch.

Quote
Hitch

Quote
Sporatica
The last straw was when they stranded my mom in San Diego. The bus broke down. The group was left waiting on the side of the road. Then they shuffled her to a cheap motel and crammed her into a room with four people, instead of two. Running late, they shuttled her to the convention center and assigned her to "clean the tunnels," at which point they neglected to retrieve her for food.

At some point the next day, they dropped her at the nice hotel the leaders were staying at and offered to feed her - but all that was left were a few bagels. After the bagel, they took her back to the cheap motel (along with another member) and essentially - left with out the two of them. 48 hours of travel, hard work, no sleep, and then stranded in San Diego. My weekend was bad, but hers was much worse.

Buses were always breaking down on the big cult trips, because the cheap @ss cult org. often used cheapo bus companies. I can recall at least half a dozen or more incidents with buses breaking down during mass movement campaigns. The YMD were usually on the yellow school buses (with torn seats, bad shocks and natural windows-that didn't go down all the way- a/c), while the adult members got the nicer, plush buses with bathrooms and an a/c (I distinctly remember one planning meeting where they made it very clear that they wouldn't tolerate a cheap-o bus for the next trip and demanded something more comfortable, so that they could enjoy their obento-rice ball picnics properly).

And yes, . . . . . they were sticking everyone into the hotels, 3-4 to a room during that San Diego campaign. I remember some men's division members, as soon as they found out after arriving, turned around and left. I even begged one to please take me with him and seriously contemplated hitchhiking back myself.

It was so common for cult org. Ikeda-bots, being run ragged during campaigns, to do all kinds of incompetent things. I saw it all the time and was sometimes even on the receiving end of it, just like your mother.

The San Diego event was epic chaos on a massive scale, like the three stooges running a show. They always used to say, "No Accidents, No accidents . . . ", but there were, all the time. It was just like some kind of bad comedy, except it was real life.

****

Quote
Nichijew
Blockbuster SGI report:

[www.buddhajones.com]

and

[www.buddhajones.com]

Nichijew

Another twisted asianophile is associated / attracted to the gakkai cult org.. Common theme, unfortunately.

Nichijew, btw, what happened to your website? It seems to be gone completely.



- Hitch

First, welcome all our new friends. I recently quit the modern Kempon Hokke after 18 years and became an independent of the Jumonryu tradition [followers of Nichiju] because the modern Japanese Kempon Hokke's faith and practices are antithetical to Nichiren's teachings. In order to avoid a lawsuit, I changed my blog name to Nichiren Daishonin's Lotus Sutra Buddhism: [markrogow.blogspot.com]

nichijew

Thanks, Nichiju.

****

$GI-USA Cult Org. pre-cult-event hype [www.youtube.com] Part I.

Huge build up, . . . . . the cult event happens, . . . . . [www.youtube.com] Part II.

Post-cult-event feelings (at least it was always this way with me, and after checking portions of these clips out, I'm left with the same feelings now, as then) . . . . . . "Where's The Beef?!?" [www.youtube.com] (Watch for Ikeda at the 0.17 sec. mark.)

Ikeda-bot programmed behavioral speech patterns, Ikeda invoked at the start of the first clip ("Whom we affectionately call "SENSEI!") and again at the end of the second clip ("One America, with "SENSEI!"). Manufactured cult events, manufactured pre-show-appearance manic chanting sessions, manufactured emotions, manufactured hype, manufactured over-the-top enthusiasm, manufactured bizarre cult tears pouring from participants faces, . . . . .

Yet, I was always asking myself, "Where's the substance??" People are still falling for it.




- Hitch


PS - David Witkowski & Danny Nagashima make very brief clip appearances toward the very end of the Part II clip (37:20 min. mark, & 38:59 min. mark, respectively). Permanently tattooed ear-to-ear grins and cunning eyes thanking attendees, reminds me of snake oil salesmen greeting their marks / customers.

Gahd dammit!! Every time I find a board I like, it ends up going kaputski! At least it came back! Ya goes on vacation for a week+ and everything goes to...poop O_O

Buses were always breaking down on the big cult trips, because the cheap @ss cult org. often used cheapo bus companies. I can recall at least half a dozen or more incidents with buses breaking down during mass movement campaigns.

This happened to me! I was a brand-new YWD - hadn't even gotten my gohonzon yet! - in 1987 when we took a bus trip from Minneapolis MN to Philadelphia PA to march in the Liberty Bell parade. 200th anniversary or some such who-cares non-event. I was with the Kotekitai because I had marching band experience; I ended up being chosen to carry the banner announcing the Kotekitai Corps. There was talk of me being a majorette, but apparently, I didn't have enough SGI experience. Whatever *eye roll* It wasn't anything I wanted.

So anyhow, we were in Philadelphia (or wherever it was) for 3 days or something, and one afternoon, we were supposed to have a tour of the city (thanks to the generosity of President Ikeda or some other bullcrap, no doubt). We stood around in a parking lot, in the sun, for, like, 3 hours - the buses never showed. I remember that I was standing with my back to the sun, because I am fair-skinned (lots of freckles), and a YWD leader told me I should be facing the same direction as everyone else in my line (so the right side of my body could get nice and sunburnt, of course) to show my "itai doshin." I refused. No way was I going to get a half-assed sunburn just because of something ridiculous!

Long story short - the buses never emerged from the state of ku, even though we were all chanting nonstop. Not like there was anything else to do, standing there in the middle of a parking lot in lines like idiots! Thanks a bunch, Fatman Ikeda! Thanks for NOTHING!!