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SGByeQuote
Zhinichi llamamoto
A couple of days ago a SGI Leader showed up at my house and tried unsuccessfully to get me to come to a district meeting, when I declined he held out his hand and told me I should give my Zimu directly to him with no envelope.
Having a total lack of shame is very helpful when you're an SGI member. I was once badgered by my district leader to go with him on a home visit to a guy who had stopped coming to meetings. I tried to convince myself that what I was doing was good for this member, but once the district leader began yelling the person's name loudly when there was no answer at the door, I became really embarrassed. When he started to look for a way to go around to the back of the house, I just wanted to disappear.
I've got a similar story to share along these lines:
It was a Sunday (YMD) morning and
more bodies were needed to drag out to the meeting place, SO . . . . . off we go in little groups to go and corral some "taiten" (cult speak for no longer practicing and not likely to ever again) or "sleeping" (more cult speak for someone who is no longer practicing, but is malleable enough to lure back) (ex-)members.
We go up to one lonely, poor looking ranch house, with no yard, just pure dirt and a beat up car sitting in the driveway. The senior "leader" (who serves as the "teacher" and all of us young ymd are the apprentices, learning how it is all done) goes into action.
Knock, knock.
No answer.
Ding-dong.
No answer.
Double-ding-dong.
Still no answer.
Louder-KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!
No answer.
Two triple ding-dongs in quick succession.
Still . . . . no answer.
"Leader" goes up to side window, cups his hands to his brow and peers in looking to see if anyone is there. No luck.
"Leader" dispatches the most brainwashed underling to run around to the back of the has and knock on the back door and see if he can see anything inside any of the other windows.
Short wait, with all of us other ymd stunned, subtly picking our jaws up off the ground.
Nope, no answer, all curtains closed.
"Leader" then rechecks his notes. Confirms with local members that this is the right place and what kind of car the guy drives. Yep, it matches the clunker sitting in the driveway (guy obviously only has one car).
More knocking and ringing on the door bell, this time followed up with yelling, "
FRANK!!! LOOK I KNOW YOU'RE HOME, BECAUSE YOUR CAR IS SITTING HERE IN THE DRIVEWAY. COME ON, ANSWER THE DOOR. WE JUST WANNA TALK TO YOU FOR A COUPLE OF MINUTES AND SEE HOW YOU ARE DOING? ARE YOU OKAY!?!?" (For discussion's sake, we'll just call the guy "Frank.")
Long delay. Frank responds, mumbling, "
All right, all right, just a moment."
We wait, smiling. "Leader" full of smug satisfaction.
Frank finally opens the door, dressed only in his boxer shorts. Frank's a young, decent looking guy, athletic, muscular, probably in his early 20's, hair all mussed up. It's obvious we just woke the guy up.
"Leader", with big sh**-eating grin and over done handshake, makes some small talk quickly followed up by
telling Frank to come on out to our meeting today. Frank's hesitant. "Leader" tries different tactics to lure Frank out. Nothing is working. "Leader" eventually say, "
FRANK, what would you rather do? Sleep in late on a Sunday morning and waste your day or come on out with us and make a good cause and create some fortune for your future?"
Frank's still not listening.
Finally, a lady's voice calls out from Frank's bedroom (Frank is a single YMD, btw), "
Honey, would you come back to bed, please." Frank says, "
Yeah, babe, I'll be right there."
Frank turns back to the "leader" and says "
Look, you guys got me at a really bad time, OK. Maybe some other day. I'll call you." Door shuts and CLICKS (is locked).
"Leader", is silent and for the first time, at a loss for words. With a shrug of the shoulders, we all turn and start to walk away. Many of the ymd are now whispering amongst themselves and one of the things said was "
I'd rather be doing what Frank is doing, too."
**********
True story. I was there.
PS - To Anti-Cult, I'm not laughing at anybody either. I just think it is hilarious, that's all.
Btw, my offer still stands, I'll be awaiting that Feynman Diagram. (I'm serious.)