The more I read all of your stories, the more I feel I became brainwashed in my four years of SGI. I also feel the harder it will be to pull away from the pressure. It won't be hard to pull away and disconnect myself, but in order to make it real, I would want to return my Gohonzon. I feel when word gets out of me wanting to do this, they will be knocking at my door. This makes me angry to think about that already. Even if they are not knocking at my door, it makes me angry to think of what they might do. I think even my sponsor finds the Ikeda Idolizing annoying, but she says she is able to overlook it. I have never been good at shakabukuing people. I never told anyone about my practice, but my boyfriend. Surprising I am more apt to talk about it now that I am wanting to disconnect, then when I was apart of it.

@FMWT

Personal growth occurs on many levels and sometimes requires the courage to stand up for yourself. For some, learning to say NO to others and not worrying about what that all means is an important bridge to cross. Especially when your own satisfaction with yourself is at stake. It is a matter of standing up for what you need to be happy, and if severing an attachment with a manipulative organization is one of those bridges then the choice breaks down into crossing or not crossing the bridge (and having or not having what is on the other side). Do you remember the Paul Simon song, "Fifty ways to leave your lover"? It's all about mental attitude in the end.

As far as returning the Gohonzon, since I lived in an area where there was a temple (the gohonzon I had was one of the "real honest-to-goodness A-1 Bonafide Temple chapter-leader-size gohonzons") I merely went to the temple, and handed it back to the priest, thanked him for its use, and that was that.

As far as the SGI Xeroxed versions, I dunno what the protocol would be, but I suppose you could simply fed-X the gohonzon to the folks in Santa Monica (with a note saying you've changed your mind) and when the local members began to bother you about what you did with it, just tell them to take it up with HQ in California ("thanks for calling... <click>). Consider them telemarketers... A benefit of this approach would also be that once your Gohonzon has been reinserted into the organization at that high level, they won't soon be showing up at your front door with another one, pressing you to re-enshrine. This way you use the cult's organizational inefficiency against itself.

BTW, if you rely on your sponsor to think for you, then you will be hopelessly lost. Bear in mind, that member will always make choices in their own self-interest ultimately. If you ask them for their opinion as to whether you should quit or not, they will more than likely advise you to stay. Just remember you are making the decision for yourself.

Wakatta

dear doubtful:

Actually, not my last dime. I live in a run down trailer park and subsist on spaghetti and butter and green peas and ketchup with jelly on white for dessert. Botsu [punishment] for leaving the Gakkai, I guess.

For several years, all we studied, was Ikeda's lecture on the Heritage of the Law, each time for more than a year, in the eighties and in the nineties too. Boring and possibly a disputed text to boot. The SGI's blood and marrow are the disputed texts, such as the Ongi Kuden, On the Treasure Tower, The True Aspect of All Phenomena, On the Buddha's Behavior, and on Attaining Buddhahood in this Lifetime, to name a few. They are very sophisticated and cunning when it comes to the Five Major Writings for example, those which oppose their "theology". They change a word here or there, remove a word here or there, or change the sentence structure. They pick and choose the passages to highlight very carefully in order to demonstrate the righteousness of their teachings or as a rationale for their perverted doctrine on the mentor disciple relationship. All it takes is one word in a crucial passage. For example when Nichiren defines the Three Great Secret Laws in Repaying Debts of Graititude. I will not go into it here in detail but they are an extremely dangerous cult [to the authentic teachings of Nichiren and to the spiritual wellbeing of their members]. They also add tons of explanation and footnotes that boil down to, "Nichiren said that but meant this."

Oh Me Oh My Why Did I Leave the Soka Gakkai

Nichijew



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/30/2010 10:07PM by Nichijew.

Does anyone know if there's a reliable way I can get another Gohonzon, besides the temple? I want to give mine back eventually because I want my name taken off their membership rolls and I know returning it is the ONLY way they ever do that. I am holding off still because I know it will hurt a few people in the organization who have seem me through some bad times. Yet, I know they will get over it. I am not unique. Many others have left, including members with larger leadership responsibilities.

Nichijew, I SO love reading your responses to my posts. I wish I could go out for coffee with you(relax, not trying to hook up) and trade SGI stories--and learn about the Gosho, since you appear to know it well. I suspect I would be greatly entertained and enlightened. My experiences are not as dramatic because I never went the whole nine yards doing YMD activities. However, I have a feeling that 21 years of active membership would yield enough to keep the conversation flowing. It is so wonderful having this forum and identifying with so many of the members here. Who knows how long I would have kept going on with my private doubts and resentments if I had not happened on this forum. Truthfully, my enthusiasm is even clouding my memory of how I encountered it a few weeks ago. I remember checking Linda Johnson on Youtube and google then I ended up here. Hm. It's getting murky, but who cares? I am so grateful. I shall meet with two big leaders next week. I pray that I may keep my composure and determination(more Gakka-speak) because they will label that Devil of Sixth Heaven or fundamental darkness. I now see that the joy I feel in this forum and in my life is a good thing. I feel strangely liberated. Many others here have posted similar experiences. Thank you everyone.

Hey Nichijew, I am screwed then because SGI leaders do know my personal business. So I will know they are visiting this forum if my stuff gets circulated. The miracle of sobriety is that I am not afraid of anything they could use against me. Years ago I would have felt otherwise. I do hope they do not resort to discussing my private business to discredit my disenchantment with SGI--but if they do, so be it.

@NichiJew

They change a word here or there, remove a word here or there, or change the sentence structure. They pick and choose the passages to highlight very carefully in order to demonstrate the righteousness of their teachings or as a rationale for their perverted doctrine on the mentor disciple relation.

Heh! You're spot on there. I recall those interminable sessions where we moved through the material at the viscosity of iron. I tossed all the little pamphlets when I cleaned house of SGI paraphenalia but I remember them being yet another "profit opportunity for the SGI publishing house. The purchase was mandatory I recall and the WD spent a lot of time making sure "everyone got the blessing by buying a copy".

The discussions here got me thinking of other things (which I haven't thought about in a dogs-age) and something else that has bothered me from the very start of the "new SGI" rising out of the ashes of the old NSA is the question of how things all hang together with the new organization.

Remember the "junyoze" that are at the end of the hobenpon? The part that begins with "Shoi sho ho" (These are the aspects...) and ending with "Nyoze Hommak Kukyo To", which basically means "consistency from beginning to end".

That being the case, how can anyone argue that the dogma of SGI today is in any way consistent with that of yesteryear? That fact alone caused me a great deal of angst as I thought about whether Ikea was leading things astray.

Now after I'd left I'd heard that the SGI was thinking about adjusting the Gongyo, I wonder if they "adjusted" the junyoze to include "depending upon what Sensei says..." which would cover the inconsistency there.

In any case, it's just another unexplained wrinkle in their logic.

Wakatta



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/31/2010 01:52AM by wakatta1.

I was STUNNED when everyone who spoke said that Ikeda is greater than the other two men.------
What I find interesting is that not to many outside of the SGI would even recognize his name. Everyone know Kind and Ghandi. You are right he has done nothing for civil rights, violence, poverty but lets get the whole world to chant. I wonder what would happen the SGI had at least 100 million households chanting world wide... the goverments of each of these country's would become alarm. One man, One organization would in effect control over 100 millions minds.

Quote
doubtful
Years ago I attended an informational meeting on the Gandhi, King, Ikeda exhibit at my community center. I was STUNNED when everyone who spoke said that Ikeda is greater than the other two men.I was STUNNED when everyone who spoke said that Ikeda is greater than the other two men. When I consider how much Gandhi and King sacificed to advance civil rights for oppressed people and then I remember Ikeda's smug, high handed behavior during those horrible videos congratulating himself for his empty hononary doctorates any place but SGI sounds good.

One person in my chapter just put his Gohonzon in a grocery bag and hung it on a door knob of a member who lives in his buidling.
Leave at the Center. It is better just to give it back then let anything happen to it.

Quote
Findingmywaytoday
The more I read all of your stories, the more I feel I became brainwashed in my four years of SGI. I also feel the harder it will be to pull away from the pressure. It won't be hard to pull away and disconnect myself, but in order to make it real, I would want to return my Gohonzon. I feel when word gets out of me wanting to do this, they will be knocking at my door. This makes me angry to think about that already. Even if they are not knocking at my door, it makes me angry to think of what they might do. I think even my sponsor finds the Ikeda Idolizing annoying, but she says she is able to overlook it. I have never been good at shakabukuing people. I never told anyone about my practice, but my boyfriend. Surprising I am more apt to talk about it now that I am wanting to disconnect, then when I was apart of it.

You know now that you mention it I have been looking for Nichiren gosho not published by SGI but another sect to compare. It is hard to find.

Quote
Nichijew
dear doubtful:

Actually, not my last dime. I live in a run down trailer park and subsist on spaghetti and butter and green peas and ketchup with jelly on white for dessert. Botsu [punishment] for leaving the Gakkai, I guess.

For several years, all we studied, was Ikeda's lecture on the Heritage of the Law, each time for more than a year, in the eighties and in the nineties too. Boring and possibly a disputed text to boot. The SGI's blood and marrow are the disputed texts, such as the Ongi Kuden, On the Treasure Tower, The True Aspect of All Phenomena, On the Buddha's Behavior, and on Attaining Buddhahood in this Lifetime, to name a few. They are very sophisticated and cunning when it comes to the Five Major Writings for example, those which oppose their "theology". They change a word here or there, remove a word here or there, or change the sentence structure. They pick and choose the passages to highlight very carefully in order to demonstrate the righteousness of their teachings or as a rationale for their perverted doctrine on the mentor disciple relationship. All it takes is one word in a crucial passage. For example when Nichiren defines the Three Great Secret Laws in Repaying Debts of Graititude. I will not go into it here in detail but they are an extremely dangerous cult [to the authentic teachings of Nichiren and to the spiritual wellbeing of their members]. They also add tons of explanation and footnotes that boil down to, "Nichiren said that but meant this."

Oh Me Oh My Why Did I Leave the Soka Gakkai

Nichijew