@doubtful & @lthomas

I can empathize with everything you state. Looking back at my own SGI career I can pick out many failures in judgement and in faith. As a leader I always tried to be as genuine as possible and not "gild the lily" when it came to the organization as well at to my opinion of "faith". I was also cautioned many times about indulging in my own perspectives instead of taking the "SGI party line" which at those times was pointed out to be vastly superior to anything I might be able to come up with simply because it was "faith based" and it came "from Sensei". To those leaders I needed to be an "undistorting lense" by which individual members could see Sensei and be victorious in their Human Revolutions(tm).

This then takes me back to what I said a post or two ago. The organization goes in the direction it is led. If the leadership is crooked or confused then the effect is manifest on the members. In a tightly coupled organization like SGI aspires to be, the views and attitudes of only a few people at the very top is given a conduit through the national organization, region, hombu, chapter, district, etc. Like that undistorting lense, SGI hopes to deliver the Sensei's bits of wisdom to everyone. And what if that guidance is wrong or wrong spirited? Where do those effects go but into the bodies and the lives of the members.

Now look at the effect in your lives of the Sensei's "heartfelt guidance" which came to you through the "undistorted lense" of your leadership. Kind of opens your eyes eh? Especially when you realize that the organizations assets are also closely controlled from on high and you then see why much of the "guidance" is not to achieve buddhist goals, but to accomplish worldly, physical aims such as "optimize the cashflow". As SGI likes to say - "the tiger is known by his footprint". What sort of footprint is the organization manifesting these days?

No charity? No mercy? No concern for members? Discarding traditions? Equivocating and circumlocuting long established teachings? Is that indeed the fault of @doubtful and @lthomas, or is it a fundamental flaw in the core SGI leadership both in the US and in Japan.

So please don't beat yourselves up too badly. You wanted to and tried to do the right thing, but you (like me and many others) ended up trusting the wrong people.

Of course, we all have some level of accountability in this. Being misled has a component of "allowing oneself to be misled" which should also be answered if the truth be told.

However, I believe you two should celebrate the fact that you are among the very few that have seen that things were really very wrong and removed yourselves from the organization. Wouldn't that be exactly the sort of thing that a "Boddhisattva of the Earth" would do as his/her first step towards reestablishing righteousness in their lives? In fact, I'd hazard to say that you're simply mid-process towards something that represents a major turning point in your lives.


Wakatta



Edited 4 time(s). Last edit at 05/28/2010 05:40AM by wakatta1.

@Wakatta

I totally agree with your post, the truth couldn't be any simpler or plainer.

One thing I'd like to add. I once spoke to a leader (who I was quite close to) about some of my concerns regarding 'SG'. He basically bare faced accepted that SG was, 'pretty weird and crazy', and justified it by saying that in Japan it is a totally different culture and environment, which is ver different to our country's SGI.
I accepted this at the time and didn't think much more about it. Only now do I realise that every study topic, every campaign, every action and drive in SGI is utterly directed and handed down from SG. Nothing happens in SGI that isn't controlled and directed by SG.
There is no difference between SG and SGI in terms of teaching, practice, focus or activity.
So can SGI USA or SGI Europe be any better than SG?

Whatever country SG/I members are in, they always have a picture of Ikeda on the wall, or sitting on the butsudan right next to the Gohonzon.

But don't have a picture of Shakyamuni or Nichiren next to the Gohonzon, no, that would be wrong Ichinen...



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/28/2010 07:04AM by DavidM.

Okay everyone you all have to help me, please. I attended a study meeting in my district last night where the central figure had not even read or studied the material in advance and blatantly relied on me(the district leader) and another leader to "help" her out. Then came a Rock the Era pitch, then a teleconference with a couple of testimonials concerning May contribution culminating in a tiresome plea from Linda Johnson on the same topic. Yet, I must admit, the lecture in Living Buddhism saved what could have been disastrous, given that the room was unusually full and there was a guest. I and the other guy did end up helping out, i.e, leading it. Okay, people make mistakes and no one at our level is getting paid so I cannot fault the scheduled presenter, even though this is the second time she came unprepared to our study meeting. I guess studying the Gosho or Nichiren does not demand serious attention but RTE and May contribution do. I continue having mostly negative feelings about staying with the organization. I know most of the people are nice and mostly harmless. The reason this is getting so hard for me is that I see new victims (guests) and to an extent I am part of the hooking process. During my impromptu performance, I did point out the validity of other Buddhist sects and religious practices but is that really enough? I looked around the room and saw them as people, good-natured people who think they are making the world a better place by attending a study meeting and promoting contribution and a youth festival. I have been no better than them, yet my newfound perspective has the potential of turning into anger or superiority. I don't want to do this to them. This forum is extremely therapeutic for me, especially when people respond to my posts and share their experiences. So please keep everything you've got coming my way.

Dear Doubtful:

It took me about 3 weeks from the time I learned that the DaiGohonzon might be a forgery until leaving the Soka Gakkai. I gave it one more chance, attending a regional meeting with my wife. When Ikeda was mentioned more than 100 times, Nichiren twice, and Shakyamuni Buddha and the Lotus Sutra, not at all, that was the straw that broke the camel's back. Since that time, I have been one of SGI's most vocal critics, gaining merit and virtue.

Nichijew

hi, doubtful. I can relate so much to what you are saying. After I had doubts about SGI, it was literally a few years before I could leave. I was a member for 33 years, and my whole life revolved around SGI. All of my friends and social life were SGI. My kids were raised in SGI. It was a major step to leave.

The last meeting I went to was last summer, but I have been home visited so much. But I think that SGI is now leaving me alone. My reaction to this has been mixed. I find that I'm having some of the anxiety that others here have spoken about. This surprises me, because things have seemed so much better for me, but I guess it's so hard to leave a cult after it has become so much a part of your life.

@ doubtful

I think you made a valid point here. I was in SGI from the mid 80's until around 2005/2006.
Being part of such a group/organisation while having serious doubts about its goals and its nature and not being able to speak out is bad enough. You are right, remaining in such an organisation while at the same time knowing that there is something 'foul in the state of Denmark' can cause tremendous stress, as if one had a split personality. The time will come to make a decision. I was always quite outspoken while in SGI – certainly me not agreeing with things was due to the fact that I did not read that novel ... 'The (new) human Revolution', but I enjoy reading as long as it meets some standards of quality :-)
The things you cherish about the core ideas of Nichiren Buddhism do not have to go overboard though if you still hold them dear in your heart.
Nichiren Buddhism and SGI are two separate issues. Some decide to drop both, some hold on to their practise after leaving, some join other sects/groups some not.
For me I just realised at one point that participating in SGI-activities was just the same as sanctioning SGI as whole – this I could no longer bring in line with my conscience. But do not rush or feel urged to make a decision … at the same time be aware that the changes you would like to see come true in SGI i.e. the end of personality cult and demonising those who believe in different things will not come true.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/29/2010 01:02AM by Rothaus.

I purposely missed the Tele conference last night. I got a memo today and decided to dial in and listen to what it was about. I quickly hung up. I did the table's for May contribution for almost 5 years. I dont want to hear the frantic, we need to make this goal or else speech anymore. I give becuase I want to give not because I am looking for some monetary benifit. Which for my recollections never happend. When I was married back in the 80's my husband and I gave $9000. I might at best give anywhere from $100 to $300. this year I gave a bit more. I WANT TO SEE HOW MUCH WE ARE WORTH.
Yet SGI is so super special that must not reveal it. What are they hidding.

Quote
doubtful
Okay everyone you all have to help me, please. I attended a study meeting in my district last night where the central figure had not even read or studied the material in advance and blatantly relied on me(the district leader) and another leader to "help" her out. Then came a Rock the Era pitch, then a teleconference with a couple of testimonials concerning May contribution culminating in a tiresome plea from Linda Johnson on the same topic. Yet, I must admit, the lecture in Living Buddhism saved what could have been disastrous, given that the room was unusually full and there was a guest. I and the other guy did end up helping out, i.e, leading it. Okay, people make mistakes and no one at our level is getting paid so I cannot fault the scheduled presenter, even though this is the second time she came unprepared to our study meeting. I guess studying the Gosho or Nichiren does not demand serious attention but RTE and May contribution do. I continue having mostly negative feelings about staying with the organization. I know most of the people are nice and mostly harmless. The reason this is getting so hard for me is that I see new victims (guests) and to an extent I am part of the hooking process. During my impromptu performance, I did point out the validity of other Buddhist sects and religious practices but is that really enough? I looked around the room and saw them as people, good-natured people who think they are making the world a better place by attending a study meeting and promoting contribution and a youth festival. I have been no better than them, yet my newfound perspective has the potential of turning into anger or superiority. I don't want to do this to them. This forum is extremely therapeutic for me, especially when people respond to my posts and share their experiences. So please keep everything you've got coming my way.

Also right now I am studying the Gosho for our Gosho study Sat May 29. We meet as a chapter team and go over what we want to present. So it goes pretty well. I sound like you are doing your still on the district level - which might be the issue. How can she get away with that? you dont need her. you are the District Leader should give it. But i know where you are from. I gained that much for your writings. you are from the same Zone I am. So i get it. They dont want those who know how to or what to do it. It has to be some leader on the Chapter level. All we are doing is just reading what is already written anyway. I get looks if I go out of the book and add a history lesson or two to make it exciting.

Quote
doubtful
Okay everyone you all have to help me, please. I attended a study meeting in my district last night where the central figure had not even read or studied the material in advance and blatantly relied on me(the district leader) and another leader to "help" her out. Then came a Rock the Era pitch, then a teleconference with a couple of testimonials concerning May contribution culminating in a tiresome plea from Linda Johnson on the same topic. Yet, I must admit, the lecture in Living Buddhism saved what could have been disastrous, given that the room was unusually full and there was a guest. I and the other guy did end up helping out, i.e, leading it. Okay, people make mistakes and no one at our level is getting paid so I cannot fault the scheduled presenter, even though this is the second time she came unprepared to our study meeting. I guess studying the Gosho or Nichiren does not demand serious attention but RTE and May contribution do. I continue having mostly negative feelings about staying with the organization. I know most of the people are nice and mostly harmless. The reason this is getting so hard for me is that I see new victims (guests) and to an extent I am part of the hooking process. During my impromptu performance, I did point out the validity of other Buddhist sects and religious practices but is that really enough? I looked around the room and saw them as people, good-natured people who think they are making the world a better place by attending a study meeting and promoting contribution and a youth festival. I have been no better than them, yet my newfound perspective has the potential of turning into anger or superiority. I don't want to do this to them. This forum is extremely therapeutic for me, especially when people respond to my posts and share their experiences. So please keep everything you've got coming my way.

@Nichijew, quiet one, Rothaus, and Blue Lady
Thank you all for being my desperately-needed support system. As you all know, it is quite difficult to talk to people who have never been involved in anything like SGI to get it when I explain my concerns and imminent departure. Most do not understand the layers of experiences and Gakkai-speak that permeate my perspective. It's not as easy as some see it, yet I know it's not that hard either. I can already see that bringing the meetings and new members in line with my conscience will be impossible. I also see that remaining as a gadfly will not be good for me or them. It's funny. SGI claims to be about peace but there really is nothing peaceful about the meetings or even the practice. I love the daimoku, but it does not make me peaceful. Focused and postive, yes--but peaceful, no. Nor does it work to fix or change everything. The meetings typically make me anxious, especially when there are guests or when some well-meaning parrot talks about mentor-disciple or RTE, or when anyone takes shots at other religious practices when they clearly know nothing about them. What's this about the Dai-Gohonzon being a forgery? I would like to know more about that. Blue L., thanks so much for pointing out that benefits did not rain simply because you contributed thousands. Linda Johnson repeated that doing May contribution is a way to change your karma. How can an educated woman like her say this to an organization? How can an organization worth billions continue putting people up to deliver this message? To think, I once kinda bought into it. Was I insane? Has anyone learned anything from Martin Luther's problem with the Roman Catholic church selling indulgences? C'mon, you cannot pay to change your life. It's probably good that it is not that simple. Blue Lady, I am a little perplexed that you have stuck with the SGI so long, especially when you have so many problems with it. This forum is continually allowing me to dissolve the layers of cult psychology. It may take some I see. I am in charge of my district's calendar. I always host the discussion meeting. For the first time, I did not offer my place for the whole month. It would not be right for me to host something I don't believe in anymore. Nevertheless, they do count on me in a small way and it really is no big deal to get the calendar done, and it is. Did any of you meet with anyone to discuss your departure: leaders or members? I am pretty sure no one of SGI will be able to talk me out of it, but who knows. I have even thought of checking out United Church of Christ, a very progressive church. Maybe I caused myself this trouble by trying so hard not to be a Christian. In fact, given all the positive experiences I had with Christianity, I don't know when I thought it was all right to recoil whenever anyone mentions God, or Jesus, or being Christian. At some point I started being this way, and I really don't like that. Oh, I am just decompressing and rambling now. Please be patient with me. I am sure that I am done with organized anything after this.

Years ago I attended an informational meeting on the Gandhi, King, Ikeda exhibit at my community center. I was STUNNED when everyone who spoke said that Ikeda is greater than the other two men. When I consider how much Gandhi and King sacificed to advance civil rights for oppressed people and then I remember Ikeda's smug, high handed behavior during those horrible videos congratulating himself for his empty hononary doctorates any place but SGI sounds good.