Thanks for everyone's input. This place is great!

tsukimoto - My wife was in SGI when I married her which was right at the end of the split with the Temple. She had me convinced that all of the folks who sided with the priesthood were evil hatemongers. We even had a Buddhist wedding which my family found initially a little off putting but it ended up being a great time. I guess I was a little naive at the time - I didn't find the constant barrage of activities that bad until we had kids a few years later. Actually, that's when the activities really started to ratchet up with our "fortune babies" attending young lions and future division activities.

nichijew - I've actually tried the ultimatum route a few times and it doesn't work. She will defend the organization to the hilt. I do like your idea about comparing the readings, I may try that.

quiet one - I can relate to your friend. Even when my wife is home it's not like she's even there with phone calls from members and the infamous telephone discussion meetings.

David m - i like the auto pilot analogy, so true.

I think I'll answer ScoobyDooby's question as well. I have been lurking on the boards lately, but haven't had any chance to write anything.

My leaving SGI experience is like that of DavidM, tsukimoto, and wakatta1.

When I first joined SGI when I was graduating university. For the time I was in SGI and the summer afterward, I loved it. I love chanting, I loved the Lotus Sutra, Nichiren, and had some respect for Ikea.

It was then I left for China. As I said, I loved the practice and had my friends find SGI practitioners over there. I did find an unofficial group in Beijing, 4 hours from where I lived by train. I went to Beijing one weekend to see them, and once was more than enough. The 'leader' was rude and very uncouth towards me. That was my light bulb moment, and that was when I seriously wondered about SGI.

I got back to the US and joined up with the group in my home state. Why did I kept on going? Because I remembered the good ole' days. Of course, it was insult to injury when some other members told me things I did wrong in China. The funny thing, is they never bothered to know what really happened nor heard the story from me.

Later on, I even hung around with the SGI in Korea.

While I was still chanting and attending meetings, the one thing that did bother me is how SGI meetings are like high school cliques. YMD only hang with YMD, YWD with YWD. The Japanese are their own group, as well as the Taiwanese. Sure we looked diverse on the outside, but it was only skin deep.

Recently, everyone in SGI has "chosen" to "rock the era". I was even asked to help with the thing, but I even told each person who asked me I might be busy. They still kept on asking. Of course, Mentor and Disciple (or Mental and Disgruntled?) has been rammed down our throats. It was one day after we ended the meeting with Forever Sensei, I talked to a friend of mine about why do we sing to for "our mentor"? He and his wife got pissed off at me. That's when I realized, it's not worth the hassle.

Dear All:

It appears that we have all had a "lightbulb" or straw that broke the camel's back moment. I did too. I started reading critiques of the Soka doctrine and philosophy for a month or two. I was pretty sure I was going to quit the SGI but I was going to give it one more chance. We [my wife and I] attended a Regional meeting at the New York Community Center. By the end of the meeting, Ikeda had been mentioned more than 100 times, Nichiren Daishonin, perhaps twice, the Lotus Sutra and Shakyamuni Buddha, not even once. I turned to my wife and stated, "we will never return to the Soka Gakkai" and we never looked back. I still wasn't sure about our direction. We met with a nice young Nichiren Shu priest because my wife was near death. He was at a loss. We then met the elderly Reverend Kubota of the Kempon Hokke and it was his, as if nothing: "No problema, easy to overcome with the Kempon Hokke faith and practice", type of attitude. This man was deep. He had seen, heard, and experienced a lot in life. We were immediately convinced to join the Kempon Hokke and here we are 15 years later and my wife is well, active, and happy [and me too].

Nichijew



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 04/17/2010 03:55AM by Nichijew.

For me, many things built up over the last few years with SGI. I had a "last straw" moment! All of a sudden, it was just too much.

hi all just a quick hello and update (because I know that my life is so interesting and important to all of you ;)

I went to the funeral and all went well. I did a quick in and out. people were puzzled to see me and vice versa.

I am currently attending a conference for what is known in the cult recovery world as an "SGA" group. second generation adults - former members of all kinds of cults in our lovely world. met some interesting people.

ditto to what everyone said about creepy and off putting behavior. the songs, the conventions, the zaimu, the publications, all of it. I've had the lightbulb moments many times but never felt strong enough to leave and stay out. I've enjoyed the workshop because, surprise surprise, SGI-like cults are rampant everywhere. I'm actually starting to get really angry at the leaders and moreover at Ikeda. His cult should be stopped. Of course I can't do anything other than educate others. I have a new found energy to let other ex "fortune babies" know they are not alone.

Dear Evergreen:

I'll give you an ah shucks moment. Your life is important to us and it is quite interesting. I don't know too many SGI fortune babies who quit the SGI. I know one and I am not at liberty to mention his name because his mother is a fairly prominent Japanese leader who herself has her doubts. Anyway, his Internet name is QQ and you can find his writings on the Nichiren Sangha and the Sokagakkaiunofficial on Yahoo. He is an accomplished professional and highly personable. If you ever need to speak to someone who shares your experience, I'm sure he would be happy to talk to you. He is completely detoxed.

Nichijew

Evergreen, I agree with Nichijew, that your life is very interesting! I encourage you to post more often because I'm sure you have had many interesting experiences and many things that we would like to hear about. I'm very interested in hearing more about the "SGA" conference that you are attending.

Dear Evergreen,

good to hear form you again please keep us posted on the conference you are attending. Sharing the results of what you have learned in respect to SGI (or any othe cult like structure) may switch on some more lightbulbs :-)

Good to hear that the funeral went smooth in the sense that you did not have to explain yourself too much.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/18/2010 05:49PM by Rothaus.

Quote
evergreen
hi all just a quick hello and update (because I know that my life is so interesting and important to all of you ;)

I went to the funeral and all went well. I did a quick in and out. people were puzzled to see me and vice versa.

I am currently attending a conference for what is known in the cult recovery world as an "SGA" group. second generation adults - former members of all kinds of cults in our lovely world. met some interesting people.

ditto to what everyone said about creepy and off putting behavior. the songs, the conventions, the zaimu, the publications, all of it. I've had the lightbulb moments many times but never felt strong enough to leave and stay out. I've enjoyed the workshop because, surprise surprise, SGI-like cults are rampant everywhere. I'm actually starting to get really angry at the leaders and moreover at Ikeda. His cult should be stopped. Of course I can't do anything other than educate others. I have a new found energy to let other ex "fortune babies" know they are not alone.

I think what you are doing is wonderful Evergreen. I think it is extremely brave to post personal feelings about such a big issue on this forum.
I also think you are doing a fantastic job educating others! Just by participating in this forum you are keeping it alive, keeping a place open which can help others with problems regarding the SGI.
Who knows, in the future someone in a very similar position to you will probably come to this forum, they will read and identify with your experiences, I think that will make them feel strong.

Very quick question.

I've been trying to think back to things said at discussion and study meetings. Has anyone else ever heard a leader say that Josei Toda actually became a buddha shortly before his death? A well respect and otherwise (as far as I know) intelligent mens division leader said this at the end of a study meeting once. He said it happened at the massive rally SGI had in the late 60's where tens of thousands came out.

The warning signs were there...