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eyzopn
Hi Sporatica!

My advice is to rediscover the parts of yourself that were tucked away in a drawer - all the interests and aspects of your personality that were incompatible with the peer pressure of the past. Please keep checking in with this mb too where you'll always be encouraged. You don't need priests in order to feel whole. There will be empty places, but that's life, and it creates a space for real life to come rushing in...like Hitch's link to "What a Wonderful World". Your post has brought me out from under a rock. I've been visiting here for months, during my own transition - grateful for the humour, candor, courage and truth. Glad to be able to open my mouth and say, please believe in yourself and embrace those empty spaces as opportunities for YOU. There's probably some scientific basis to the comforting hum of group chanting - some resonance or frequency that makes you feel better. Why not explore music instead? Just break out into song! ; ) Greetings and much love to everyone here.

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Sporatica
I joined NSA in 1984. At the time, I was 19. I was told that they were open to dialogue. Being inquisitive by nature, I had many questions, about the practice. Most couldn't be answered. So I went to the temple and asked one of the priests. The answers he gave me, helped to tide me over for a while. But the organization continued to rub me the wrong way.

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Sporatica
I didn't have much money, but I was hungry for knowledge. The "guidance" I received was to chant and to read/study. The books were out of my budget. The response to this was "chant" about it. So I did. It came to me that the bookstore should have a reading room, similar to a library where members could donate books, so that less-prosperous members could read them there or even check them out like a library. Needless to say, this did not go over well as there was no money in it. I was confused. My mom went to the temple and bartered the price down on some used books. You would have thought, by the reaction of NSA members, that she had robbed a bank!

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Sporatica
Anyway, the more the org demanded of me, the less apt I was to participate. I liked stage crew. Hanging out in the warehouse at night and creating things in an informal environment. But I was soon told that I had to join YWD. I had no interest in YWD. IMHO, they were all stuck up and reminded me of the girls I disliked most in High School. However, I joined drill dance and prepared for the big World Peace celebration in San Diego. What a nightmare.

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Sporatica
As far as I was concerned, my time was my contribution. The concept of charging me to work and perform did not sit well with me. I was given more "guidance" and managed to hustle up the (I think) $100 for the trip and the money for a "uniform" that I would wear once in my life. I was not accustomed to being used or abused. That changed in San Diego. i am not going to whine about it now. Suffice to to say, the way we "grunts" were treated was less than optimal.

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Sporatica
I never thought of NSA as a cult. I'm still in a bit of shock, after reading about SGI, the temple issue, the rise of Ikeda, the fall of Williams, the meteoric rise of Matilda Buck and as much as I have been able to find over the past 30 hours, that I was a member of a cult. I contacted the temple via their webmail with regard to giving them the gohonzon. SGI has their new and improved gohonzon, so I didn't even bother contacting them. A part of me wants the temple to get back to me and another part is in fear of being sucked in by smiling faces and the comforting hum of chanting. I really am at a loss, and there is not a single person in my world that I would feel comfortable discussing this with. Any suggestions?

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eyzopn
There's probably some scientific basis to the comforting hum of group chanting - some resonance or frequency that makes you feel better. Why not explore music instead? Just break out into song! ; ) Greetings and much love to everyone here.

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Sporatica
@eyzopn

My primary goal is what to do with this gohonzon. I called the temple and they said that a local member would call me and arrange for pickup. I thought for sure I would be swamped with calls. So far... nothing. I am not of the mindset to drive out to Hollywood to return it.

My mom still wants to look into the NST. I've shared with her all that I have read about the cult of SGI. Her response has been, "NST is not SGI." As I stated, I liked the way I felt chanting. It quiets my mind. but I don't like being pressured for my money or my time - and I'm not the most disciplined person in my daily life. I can't honestly say that I'm searching for anything. IMO, the only chance this Earth has of attaining world peace, is the extinction of the human race - something I won't live to see.


Why not mail it? Use an inexpensive box available at Post Office, the scroll nicely wrapped within, enclose a brief letter, if you like. There's nothing disrespectful about that. Just a couple of bucks to do the right thing and make it go away! ; p

I'm terribly sorry for the way your Mom was treated at that activity - heinous. Seems like alot of us have had similiar "experiences" perhaps irrationalized (not a word, but should be!) as exercises in "human revolution": maltreatment as expiation of negative karma, strengthening one's resiliance, resistance to complaint. But when this is done to someone you love, the lights really go on. Hoping your Mom finds what she needs, free of disillusionment. Ah yes, World Peace! Remember singing "...twenty years we'll see Kosen Rufu....we've got just 20 years to go"? Cousin Rufus, where art thou?! I'm waiting for Atlantis to resurface or for other gorgeous, mindboggling revelations that will eradicate human pettiness. Half kidding here...but at least the fantasies are my own.

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meh
Thanks for posting, simplify. The only way to make sure of the vice-Chancellor's affiliation might be to sneak into his wardrobe and see if he has an untoward number of cheap white polyester shirts in there. I found it interesting that Buckingham U. purports itself as a "non-sectarian" institution. I wonder how closely any university looks into partnerships if generous donations are involved? I'm of a mind that it's never a bad thing to share information - if Kealy is an Ick-eda-bot, it won't be anything he hasn't heard before and just bemoan those devilish functions that plague defenders of the holy Magic Law. If he isn't sgi-associated, he might like to know who he's climbed into bed with, even if it was a couple of years ago.

Icky and Gakky indeed. That sounds like a cartoon. A dark one.