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TaitenAndProud
One delusion my membership in the SGI helped me overcome was the idea that there can be a belief system/philosophy/religion that is so inherently *good* that everyone who practices it will demonstrate improved behavior.

For example, a teaching can be all about love and compassion and fluffy bunnies, but if its devotees show a high rate of violence and seem driven to harm others, we can conclude that this is a *bad* teaching.

Conversely, if you have a teaching that is all about sadistic gore and mutilation, but its devotees are uniformly peaceable and kind, you have to conclude that this is a *good* teaching. It is the effect that shows the truth, in other words.

Ha ha ha, right? Well, I actually *BELIEVED* that! The Buddhist principles of cause and effect in particular motivated me to become much more *mindful* about my own behavior (in thought, word, and deed). And the chanting *did* calm what other Buddhist sects describe as "the chattering monkey mind" and helped me sleep better - no more waking up in the middle of the night, stewing about work! Plus, the fact that Buddhism has the most peaceful history of any of the major religions - by FAR - was immensely appealing to me.

That "effect" part is dead on, I still believe, and it demonstrates that no teaching has any demonstrable positive effect on human behavior. The good people will remain good or even become better, but they would do that regardless of which belief system they were involved in (or none); the jerks will still be jerks or even become more jerkish, taking advantage of the power opportunities to inflict their jerkiness on ever more hapless victims.

I still believe that Buddhism - REAL Buddhism - is the best of the lot, as it is the only one that incorporates, to at least *some* degree, the idea that human happiness and fulfillment are valid priorities (and not just being submissive and obedient to authority and following *lots* of rules). REAL Buddhism incorporates some of the earliest psychology, attempting to address human needs rather than just serve the hierarchy.

There have been studies that showed that Buddhist meditation brings significant, measurable cognitive benefits (see links below), so I don't think it makes a bit of difference what words you use if you choose a chanting meditation.

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"One thing that meditation does for those who practise it a lot is that it cultivates attentional skills," Dr Josipovic says, adding that those harnessed skills can help lead to a more tranquil and happier way of being.

"Meditation research, particularly in the last 10 years or so, has shown to be very promising because it points to an ability of the brain to change and optimise in a way we didn't know previously was possible." [www.bbc.co.uk]

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In a study published online April 21 in the journal Brain Research Bulletin, the researchers found that people trained to meditate over an eight-week period were better able to control a specific type of brain waves called alpha rhythms.

“These activity patterns are thought to minimize distractions, to diminish the likelihood stimuli will grab your attention,” says Christopher Moore, an MIT neuroscientist and senior author of the paper. “Our data indicate that meditation training makes you better at focusing, in part by allowing you to better regulate how things that arise will impact you.” [web.mit.edu]

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This last week saw three very notable articles about science and meditation in the global media. The articles, following recent scientific research into meditation, describe meditation as making people more rational, more attentive, and -at the chromosomal level- more likely to living longer, healthier lives.

But meditators showed no significant activity for the anterior insula [the area of the brain associated with emotions such as mistrust and betrayal] when offered [a modest gift from a relative who had just won a large sum of money]. In fact they increased activity in the posterior insula, which has been linked to rational decision-making.

After several years of number-crunching, data from the so-called Shamatha project is finally starting to be published. So far the research has shown some not hugely surprising psychological and cognitive changes – improvements in perception and wellbeing, for example. But one result in particular has potentially stunning implications: that by protecting caps called telomeres on the ends of our chromosomes, meditation might help to delay the process of ageing. [www.patheos.com]

Maybe the problems start when yer doin it rong :P

I'm going to surmise that decent and compassionate people who are inclined to help others were that way before they joined any particular organization, religious or not. People join organizations for many different reasons, most of which may not be altruistic, but most of which are not evil either. Some do join to find victims. I am 57 now and have seen and experienced all kinds of people in all kinds of groups and the nicest people would be that way if they were in the group or not. Cult $GI is particularly evil because it is based on total deception (how many of the chanting faithful know that the org and Ikea have billions in assets) and does not offer an outlet for compassionate individuals to work within their faith.

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TaitenAndProud

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At any large [Headquarters] and up meeting and at most Chapter level meetings, in my experience, the higher level leaders always ask to see one's experience before it is given. I have had experiences edited with many deletions and additions. I went along with it because I trusted the wisdom of these leaders more than my own. In retrospect, I was indeed an idiot and a liar. - Nichijew

You'll laugh - one of the main reasons I went along with the HQ MD leader's changes to my "experience" was that I knew that, as a YWD Chapter chief, I was in the running for the HQ YWD position - and I wanted it! I also knew that, if I didn't "play ball," I might well find myself "blackballed" with regard to the promotion. I got the promotion, BTW O_O

NSA/SGI is more like a corporation than spiritual organization, with all the emphasis on position, titles, and promotions. Maybe it was the times (early 1970's), or maybe it was just me, but I did not respond to all this authoritarianism. I was overweight and did not fit the YWD image, so despite my unwavering support of the cult (I spent a hefty part of my college scholarship money to go on the pilgrimage in 1973 the now destroyed Sho-Hondo temple), intelligence, and speaking abilities, I was passed over again and again for promotion. Eventually I saw just how shallow and pretentious the org was, and was saved by going away to college. Many "leaders" were attracted by the assumed prestige and authority of having a title, but did not care one bit about the people they were supposed to be leading. Nor did they have leadership skills.

I say to each his own, and whatever spiritual practice (or none) that helps you navigate the difficulties of life that doesn't hurt anybody is OK by me as long as it isn't forced on me. $GI hurts people, I know it hurt me.

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Freeheartandmind

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Thatsmeinthecorner
Where do I go from here? I spent WAY too much time on the wrong path so I am more skeptical and to be honest more cynical than I used to be. I ask the question but I don’t really want to know the answer or maybe I no longer believe there is an answer. I've been reading Richard Dawkins and I'm not sure how knowing that I am a speck of cosmic dust floating around in a vast universe actually helps me in the day to day. Perhaps I'll evolve or better yet perhaps I am evolving. Watched an old Star Wars movie the other night and never realized how wise Yoda really was. "When it comes to matters of the force... my own counsel will I keep ... yes ... um..."

Be comfortable with your discomfort as you explore and find out what is truly meaningful to you. Unlike the neat little package SGI tries to sell, life is complicated and messy and it is OK to have uncertainties and not know all the answers.

Best advice I've read on the forum thus far!

@Taiten - thanks for the link on the Millenial Generation it was very enlightening. It's true, both my kids have gravitated towards various social causes and have great empathy towards people less fortunate than they. I think that some of that has to do with my (my wife's) progressive politics. They certainly didn't learn that through the SGI - as the organization basically stayed away from anything along those lines. My oldest says chanting for world peace is a lot of hooey because no one is chanting for world peace. Look at the kids' pages in the WT - the vast majority of the kids they interview chant for good grades, scholarships etc (positive proof!!) You might get lip service about chanting for peace but it's all very vague.

Thank you Free.

Thank you Hitch.

"What would President Ikeda want me to do?" <-- Have you heard this? I have. When members make the organization's wellbeing their focus, the organization prospers - and those who profit from that organizational prosperity are happy - and rich and powerful.

Wow, have I ever, WWDD? Constantly.

I loved Kung Fu! Kuai Chang was my hero!

Thank you Taiten. I will check out the links. I really appreciate everyone's comments. I feel like I'm going through stages. Lately I've been very angry but it's subsiding. At this point I don't want to debate with my former leaders as much as I want to punch them in the nose.

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Hitch

I was constantly sleep-deprived thru my high school years (and not from horsing around, either). It was all because of gakkai cult activities. I was departing "YOUTH!" activities that ended after 10 p.m. (sometimes, 11 or 11:30) and then had to drive home for more than an hour after that. This was a twice a weeknight thing, too. I'd get home around midnight or later, have to bathe and go to bed, then get up before 5 a.m. in order to have enough time for gongyo before heading off to school. Repeat and replay, every week. In addition, there were "practices" every weekend, sometimes Sat. & Sun (all day Sundays, and again, requiring hours of driving to get there and back), as campaign day drew nearer. And this of course is not taking into consideration all of the other "activities" always taking place (tosos, zadankai, gajokai, soka-han, community center and temple - in those days - cleaning, planning meetings, shakubuku, leaders meetings, etc., etc., etc.).

I literally lived, ate and slept more for the gakkai cult org. than for myself in those days (they tried to brainwash you and tell you it *was* for yourself). It was insane. If I weren't a young (and dumb) kid at the time, I'd never be able to do it as a middle aged adult.

In the UK it’s much calmer activity-wise compared to the US, and members without a designated responsibility who join as adults (i.e who don’t ever experience being in the youth division) might read this and not relate it to how we practice in the UK. Even to the extent of claiming that the reason that things have gone wrong with SGI in the past is because a few mistaken members have had this manic mentality. So they would be blaming these particular members rather than the organisation and certainly not Daisaku Ikeda.

However, this calmer approach is certainly not what happens in the youth division, especially if one becomes a member of a dedicated group, which is something that is pushed onto youth division members as soon as they get their gohonzons. Then the craziness begins and it all sounds very similar to what you guys are describing.

I remember countless times getting up at 5am to drive a group of young women to the centre in time for an activity. The whole day would involve constant busyness - team meetings, scheduling, cleaning, vacuuming, washing up, making teas and coffees, ‘protecting the butsugu’. Everything was a rush, including lunch – so we would often spend the afternoon fighting the effects of bad digestion and the whole day fighting tiredness. Then back on the motorway to drive everyone home. These activities were sold to us as great opportunities to change our karma. There was an often repeated bit of guidance that when you went to the centre you left your karma at the gates and by doing this activity you might find that all the problems you arrived with have resolved themselves by the time you get home. This was often quoted to people that had a reason for not wanting to do an activity, to ‘encourage’ them to ‘break-through their negativity’ and ‘win in their lives’.

I desperately wanted this bit of guidance to be true as there were many things I felt I hadn’t managed to change that were still causing me to suffer. So I would always put activities first with the hope that this would be what was needed to sort out my relationship difficulties/lack of confidence/conflicts with people/job difficulties, etc. But I have to say that I cannot remember one activity when I came back to any such transformation (surprise, surprise).

One time in particular sticks out in my mind. After getting up at the crack of dawn and spending most of the day ‘supporting the members’ I got stuck on the motorway on the way back, making a 2 hour journey into a 5 hour epic. It was pouring with rain, quite dangerous really, and I was quite a nervous driver. I managed to do a detour through the countryside and stopped off at a motorway service station to buy everyone a coffee. On returning to the car I noticed that the door had a dent in it where some other driver had aggressively knocked their door into mine. I felt a bit sick but carried on with the journey home telling myself that I must have expiated bucket loads of karma on this activity. Sometime in the evening I finally dropped the last young woman off and returned home exhausted but relieved that I had managed to get everyone back in one piece. But had I managed to change any of my problems – had I hell!

Of course, what participating in these activities did was give me a massive high when I finally managed to do them, especially if it was something I was worried about. I was always terrified that I might have an accident due to being too tired and being such an inexperienced driver and when this didn’t happen I would be giddy with relief. But it was a false high because after a few days it would fade away and all my old problems were still there.
The activities certainly weren’t changing anything deep and fundamental as they were purported to be doing. For me they just became an addictive replacement for my personal life and in the end I was doing them purely to escape from everything else.

Of course if I ever expressed concern that I didn’t seem to be getting anywhere despite all my efforts with chanting and activities I would always get a stern lecture that Buddhism is not magic, it’s common sense, and that I can’t just expect all my problems to be solved unless I take action. Eh? Hold on, didn’t you just tell me taking action is putting kosen rufu first? I’m confused!

There was also the old chestnut that no-one knows how long someone’s karma takes to change as it could be very, very deep. This could be used to justify someone practising their whole lives and experiencing dreadful suffering up until the end.

There are many, many get-out clauses that the organization has to explain why someone isn’t making the changes in their lives that they hoped for and the reason is never that maybe the reason they are suffering is because they are doing too many activities, too much chanting and neglecting other areas of their lives.

After I had gone through a particularly difficult period in my life and had ended up in a stressful, tedious job that required me to be human robot and made me ill, I felt desperate and sought guidance about why I was not happy in my life in the way I would have hoped after 20 years of practice, I was reminded that anyone can be happy in any circumstances, and the leader related the experience of a lady who chanted to be able to clean Sensei’s hotel room as she knew he would be staying there and guess what? Her prayer was answered and she was soooo happy. I was also advised to ‘chant to fulfil Sensei’s expectations of you’ and that I never had to feel lonely as long as I had Sensei in my heart.

I so badly wanted to feel the happiness that the cleaning lady felt and so I carried on with the chanting and activities with this in mind suppressing any feelings of unhappiness and telling myself to trust the guidance.

I think it took another year or so where I experienced a few other set-backs (too much to go into here) and ending up feeling utterly hopeless and having a near emotional meltdown, I had to finally admit to myself that maybe this practice wasn’t actually the best thing for my life and maybe, just maybe there were other ways to look after my mental, spiritual and physical health. And above all, maybe my happiness wouldn’t come from fulfilling Sensei’s expectations, whatever the hell they were considering I've never met the man and he doesn't know me.

From that time it took another few months to actually make the break and to start thinking in a balanced way, avoiding putting myself needlessly into overly stressful situations and to look after myself like a sensible adult.
As before, I haven’t experienced a miraculous transformation but the difference is that I am not expecting it, I am not setting myself up for a big high only to experience a big fall. I am still processing the things that happened during my time in the organization but not in a bitter way, just to gain some perspective and resolution. There are really good things in my life which I appreciate and there are also difficult things which I am slowly sorting out.

That is why I am so appreciative of this forum. To read everyone’s experiences reminds me why I had to break away from that sick way of thinking where it’s all about winning, losing, being victorious and fighting.

I sent my wife an excerpt from this forum with the comments everyone gave. Below is her reply.

Wow! What an awesome commentary from all. I'd like to look into the REAL Buddhism comments. All so educated and meaningful…..this really helps me too.

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Freeheartandmind

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Thatsmeinthecorner
Where do I go from here? I spent WAY too much time on the wrong path so I am more skeptical and to be honest more cynical than I used to be. I ask the question but I don’t really want to know the answer or maybe I no longer believe there is an answer. I've been reading Richard Dawkins and I'm not sure how knowing that I am a speck of cosmic dust floating around in a vast universe actually helps me in the day to day. Perhaps I'll evolve or better yet perhaps I am evolving. Watched an old Star Wars movie the other night and never realized how wise Yoda really was. "When it comes to matters of the force... my own counsel will I keep ... yes ... um..."

Be comfortable with your discomfort as you explore and find out what is truly meaningful to you. Unlike the neat little package SGI tries to sell, life is complicated and messy and it is OK to have uncertainties and not know all the answers.

This is so true.

Nobody has all the answers in life. A comfortable tolerance for ambiguity is the best we can all hope to do, as we search for answers that have meaning for us.

In fact, it should be a huge RED FLAG whenever someone ignorantly and arrogantly claims to have all the easy answers, simple recipes and the *only* "correct" path that everyone else should follow.

****

On that note, I'd like to add some thoughts on gakkai cult org. "leadership" positions.

Such positions are not really about "leading." They are about doing the cult org.'s bidding and dirty work. It's about becoming a slave to the organization. Slaves live their lives in fear and worry only to serve their "master." They'll do just about anything to remain in the good graces of their "master." In the gakkai cult org., this means manipulating, putting fear / guilt into and lying to people.

I was literally pushed (forced) into a "leadership" position that I wasn't looking for, nor did I want. After one campaign I felt so slimy, I handed the position back. I wanted no part of it. I was basically coached to "encourage" people, by inflating the event / campaign into something of huge importance that Cousin Rufus pivoted on. A bunch of hogwash. Seeing the trusting eyes and innocent faces of the "YOUTH!" is what got me. I absolutely knew, at that moment, I couldn't do it.

Looking back, I can't think of a single YMD gakkai cult org. leader that I respected or looked up to. They were all basically cold hearted manipulators, obsessed only with getting the numbers for the cult org. and ALL treated the "precious" members like sh*t. "Do as *I* need you to do, or I'll just find someone else who will." So called "leaders", are only looking for dupes to do bidding for the cult org., bringing in more servants for the "master."

I can share one story about how they lived in high tension stress in order to please their own superiors. When I was in the brass band, I did a lot of watching of our drum major - the symbolic "leader" of the cult org.'s regional band. To outsiders (those not in the brass band), he looked like the kindly, caring, compassionate, all-wise council that we all looked up to, protecting and nurturing us. In reality, on the inside, behind closed closed doors, behind the scenes, it was just the opposite. He couldn't have cared less, never had time for you, was never around for only more than brief moments at practices just to bark orders and then disappear just as quickly as he popped up. Come parade or huge event venue time, and there he was again, all smiles and just oozing cuddly warmth to everyone, "guiding" us and "leading" us with a big charming smile, ready to be your best friend.

Here's the kicker (at least it was for me). This same guy would then suddenly transform into an overly tightly strung violin string, to be played by the cult org., whenever really bigwig gakkai "leaders" were watching. And whenever he had to "lead" us in front of THE actual Dear Leader, Ikeda (which was a couple of occasions) you would have thought somebody dropped pine cones down the backside of his pants by the way he moved and conducted us. The high tension, exaggerated movements, sweat popping out of his head, and fear were plainly visible. I hardly recognized this guy at those times. And like a good slave at the critical moment, he didn't walk, he ran everywhere, stood straighter and yelled "HAI!" a lot.

During practices, he was hardly ever around. During regular events, he was the smiling politician posing for the cameras. During events with The Dear Leader, he was a high strung frightened slave performing only for his "leaders" and the "master."

It's amazing what you can learn, by sitting back and silently watching people, especially "leaders", in the gakkai cult org..

The $oka Gakkai is a deceptive, manipulating, controlling, abusive, dysfunctional and lying cult organization.


- Hitch



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/01/2013 03:37AM by Hitch.

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I was overweight and did not fit the YWD image, so despite my unwavering support of the cult (I spent a hefty part of my college scholarship money to go on the pilgrimage in 1973 the now destroyed Sho-Hondo temple), intelligence, and speaking abilities, I was passed over again and again for promotion. Eventually I saw just how shallow and pretentious the org was, and was saved by going away to college. Many "leaders" were attracted by the assumed prestige and authority of having a title, but did not care one bit about the people they were supposed to be leading. Nor did they have leadership skills. - Free

I'm sorry that was your experience, Free. There has always been an attitude in the SGI to promote the most attractive people. I remember one WD member in North Carolina telling me that I was "rewarded" in the SGI for having masculine characteristics! Now, I'm a woman, presently age 52, and I like to say that I have the soul of a teenage boy, but it ends there! I've always been pretty and slender - and, coupled with the fact that I had a master's degree AND a good corporate career, that (in Minnesota, where I was promoted all the way to HQ YWD leader) meant "prime leadership candidate" to the SGI leaders. Those who were wealthy would always be regarded more highly than those who struggled financially. Those who could afford to go on all the trips and contribute to the various activities would always be valued more highly than those who could not - their relative prosperity was, naturally, evidence of their "fortune", while the situation of those who were not well off was obviously proof of their "heavy karma". It's shallow and greedy thinking.

This is human nature, though - it's not *just* the SGI. From the Bible:

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James 2:2-4 For if a man wearing a gold ring and fine clothing comes into your assembly, and a poor man in shabby clothing also comes in, and if you pay attention to the one who wears the fine clothing and say, “You sit here in a good place,” while you say to the poor man, “You stand over there,” or, “Sit down at my feet,” have you not then made distinctions among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?

Shouldn't we expect better from the SGI? Granted, there is a big problem when people "with good hearts" are promoted to leadership positions where the fact that they do not have any sort of deep knowledge of doctrine or scripture (be it sutra or gosho) is glaringly apparent to all. When borderline illiterate people are in leadership positions, it does not reflect well on the group, and that's not only in the SGI. There is a MD leader - not sure the level, but at least Chapter - here in San Diego who is like that. All he can offer is the political propaganda by way of answer to questions, the whole "Remember to seek Sensei's heart! Always challenge yourself to support the organization!" Etc. One church that my family went to when I was a child had this family in the congregation with parents who were both poor and only high-school educated, if that. My dad had a PhD and my mother had a BA from university, so when this bumpkin declared his intention of becoming a minister for that church, they left. This also is human nature. Those who are intellectual (like me) want to engage on that level and have discussions with others similarly educated (and self-educated is fine, just that the knowledge needs to *be* there). If there aren't any knowledgeable people around, we'll feel isolated, lonely, and bored. That is what the SGI and every other organization should be very concerned about, because with too many "simple" leaders, the entire organization will end up gravitating to that level. I'm sorry if I sound snobbish, but this is how I feel. Shouldn't the leaders be expected to have extensive knowledge?

I probably mentioned before, but shortly before I bolted, when I mentioned to my MD District leader (a simple sort - not sure if he'd even completed high school) that I wasn't getting my needs met, not for myself and certainly not for my children, he scolded me for being "selfish" and told me that I should be focusing on how I could use my knowledge and understanding to help others! Well, guess what? Others weren't interested!! Glad I'm gone. Found out last month that his wife, the WD District leader, *died* - she was younger than me! - and now he's planning to marry his cousin! Yippee!!

I remember one trip to Chicago (Minneapolis's joint territory) for some meeting or other, back in the late 1980s, when I was no more than a YWD District leader, and in a YWD meeting, in a room of about 50 people, this one YWD, a plump, plain but not unattractive young woman of about 25, stood up and, weeping, asked why it is that no one liked her. She chanted, she did activities, and yet she had no friends. Of course, the YWD leaders blathered something about "life condition" and "karma" and [fill in the blank], which was all useless. Knowing what I know now, I would have told her, "The reason no one likes you is because you are putting yourself in situations where you are surrounded by people who don't like you! It's cause and effect, woman! The more time you spend around people who DON'T like you, the less time you have to spend with people who DO like you! Start thinking about what YOU like to do, and start doing that! When you meet someone who shows an interest in you, pursue that relationship. Limit yourself to the people you feel good around and who obviously enjoy your company. If you don't have any of those right now, feel free to be alone for a while! Better to be alone (and in your own good company) than surrounded by people who don't like you, right?" No SGI leader could possibly say that.

Now, in my own YWD-HQ-leader defense, one reason I wanted to be YWD HQ leader was to be in a position to organize fun stuff for all the YWD. And I did - I took them hiking, roller skating, out to movies, picnics, even camping! My second-in-command, who took over as HQ YWD leader when I moved away, built on this foundation to start a pairing-up program between the older YWD and the teens, to do homework together, more like a "Big Sisters" relationship. She is now a Pentecostal Christian, along with her husband who was a YMD HQ leader :D Guess they'll keep chasing that "Prosperity Gospel" no matter who's preaching it!

The other reason I was determined to become YWD HQ leader was to rub my higher leadership position in my former boyfriend's face (he only made it as high as Chapter, I think, or was it District??) :P



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/01/2013 03:51AM by TaitenAndProud.