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sleepy skunk

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TaitenAndProud

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Hitch: "Oh, so that's how it works. They are basically asking me to embellish and or make something up."

That's exactly right.

I remember once, when I was still a Chapter YWD leader, we drove up to Duluth to the district up there to help some members prepare for the intro study exam. *sigh* Anyhow, there was an inactive YWD who had agreed to let us all meet at her apartment for the review session. At the end, we asked her if we could do gongyo (she was still enshrined) before we headed back (3-hr drive). She said, "Sure" and sat down to do gongyo with us. The End.

So we get back to town, and the MD HQ leader asks me to prepare an "experience" of the trip for the next kosen-rufu gongyo. He asks to see a draft of what I'm planning on saying. I dutifully write it up and hand it in to him. The next day he hands it back. He'd changed something.

Where I had written, "Before we left, we asked if we could do gongyo at her altar. She said 'Sure' and then joined us for gongyo."

He had changed it to this: "Before we left, SHE ASKED US IF WE WOULD DO GONGYO WITH HER." That's quite a bit different, isn't it? Makes it sound like she *begged* us to do gongyo with her, as if she realized how much she *needed* her SGI leaders! Ugh.

To my eternal shame, I read it as HE had written it. I never felt good about it, I still don't - if she'd gotten wind that I'd twisted the story that way, she would have had good reason to never speak to me again (not that we were friends or anything, but I always took seriously the idea of treating even inactive members with respect). I simply felt that I had to do as he said - I didn't want to get in trouble.

Here's yet another thing I had to do probably no more than twice but it made me so uncomfortable. I didn't get asked to embellish but I knew I was being prodded to do something less than honest that I didn't like. I was probably being tested again, to see how far I'd go to either try to fit in or what I might do in a more dishonest vein for the org. I had to re-read that a couple of times to realize what happened here could be happening to me right now had I not gotten rid of the scroll already. That would not go well for them. I'm sure I've been talked about already for a while, but then to be made an example of wouldn't surprise me neither. I can't say I would have done anything differently in your position had it happened. I might have questioned why they changed it but like all answers they give, it would have been more nonsense and it would have got filtered out and ended with me grudgingly doing it.

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sixtyseven
Hahaha, I got that sms yesterday at 7 PM: "Today WD toso at my house 8 PM + adress". What the hell do they think ( if they think at all), that I grovel back on my bended knees full of sorrow? Eventually jump into the car in rueful excitement and leave my little children behind or lodge them in their pajamas on the rear seats? Stupid ignorant people. I hope that the anger stops one day. Should I ignore the text or should I reply, what do you think?

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Lee: My last Art Of Living (SGI-UK propaganda monthly) came today. More tedious exhortation to victory from the charmless Buddhist prosperity gospel. I have had a call from the MD and WD leaders asking how I am.Also some messages from various members wishing me good fortune and suchlike. Of, course SGI UK is not as hardcore as it once was-the days of full-on shakubuku are long gone. I am a curiosity though-I'll bet there's few members who've been lost to Pure Land Buddhism. There's probably no training for it outside Japan.

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Nichijew
At any large [Headquarters] and up meeting and at most Chapter level meetings, in my experience, the higher level leaders always ask to see one's experience before it is given. I have had experiences edited with many deletions and additions. I went along with it because I trusted the wisdom of these others more than my own. In retrospect, I was indeed an idiot and a liar.

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Nichijew
They are destructive teachings because one invariably comes to believe that one is special and can not possibly err. This leads to both arrogance and mediocrity.

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Hitch
Very well stated and absolutely true.


- Hitch

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At any large [Headquarters] and up meeting and at most Chapter level meetings, in my experience, the higher level leaders always ask to see one's experience before it is given. I have had experiences edited with many deletions and additions. I went along with it because I trusted the wisdom of these leaders more than my own. In retrospect, I was indeed an idiot and a liar. - Nichijew

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Hitch

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sixtyseven
It seems the heavenly deities have sent the answere! I got a phone call from a member ( I picked up unaware) and he started the conversation with " I want to quit with the organization too, I've heard you had sent back the Gohonzon....." Isn't that wonderful? I bet they will forbid the members to have contact with me, the bad taiten, and I will have my peace again. Cool, cool, cool.

It's a BENEFIT!! :-)) Congratulations!

(Sorry, but I just couldn't resist that reverse confirmation bias opportunity.) The cult org. has programmed it into me, but I overwrote the program to function both ways. HA!

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Thatsmeinthecorner
Where do I go from here? I spent WAY too much time on the wrong path so I am more skeptical and to be honest more cynical than I used to be. I ask the question but I don’t really want to know the answer or maybe I no longer believe there is an answer. I've been reading Richard Dawkins and I'm not sure how knowing that I am a speck of cosmic dust floating around in a vast universe actually helps me in the day to day. Perhaps I'll evolve or better yet perhaps I am evolving. Watched an old Star Wars movie the other night and never realized how wise Yoda really was. "When it comes to matters of the force... my own counsel will I keep ... yes ... um..."