A warm welcome to Freeheartandmind.

We joined only a year apart. Looking forward to reading more of your story. I am currently writing my story. Since it is a bit too lengthy to post, I am putting it up under its own web site:

spartacusrebeldotweeblydotcom

The first three chapters are already up. I invite one and all to have a sneak peek, and to offer any feedback.

Spartacus

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Spartacus
A warm welcome to Freeheartandmind.

We joined only a year apart. Looking forward to reading more of your story. I am currently writing my story. Since it is a bit too lengthy to post, I am putting it up under its own web site:

spartacusrebeldotweeblydotcom

The first three chapters are already up. I invite one and all to have a sneak peek, and to offer any feedback.

Spartacus

Yes, welcome freeheartandmind.

Can't get to your website with that web address Sparticus.

Some interesting reading Hitch but I have to think SGI's tentacles are around the throats of many of the participants of these symposia, preventing open dialogue. Also the problem of SGI secrecy, power, money, and influence thwarts any thorough investigation into their inner workings. Fortunately we can deduce their inner workings from their outward appearance. I couldn't access the book on the SGI Catholic dialogue. I was familiar with the brazilian piece. I like the title, Building “the Closest Organization to the Heart of Ikeda-Sensei”. ugghh

Sparticus
Thankyou for your perspective! I appreciate it. Of course I appreciate everyones kind thoughts.
I haven't ever discussed my condition before. I didn't really get it until I read enough posts to unserstand all those times in recent years I've been told I needed to b at more activities ro change my physical karma when the reason I experience most of this is because of them! It's all a learning curve.

Yes, sitting hour upon hour on your knees does not help but it is what it is. I just keep on keeping on.

I so appreciate all. of you. Some of us show more damage on the outside & some are damaged on the inside but we figured it out eventually.

Tks!

N
WOW...YES I AM SAD TOO. Well put. tks

Spartacus...sorry for mispelling ur name!

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Hitch

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SGBye

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Hitch
Ever wonder what the modern day version of Jr. Pioneers (Cult Kiddy Division) looks like? Look no further:

[www.youtube.com] (WTF!?!?!)

It's called the "Lion Cub Club" or "Baby Lion's Division."

I realize it was translated from Japanese into English, but that song has to be the most awkward-sounding song I've ever heard. I can't picture any child being able to learn how to sing it. About the only positive thing I can say about it is that it doesn't mention "Sensei" (unless I missed it among the densely-packed lyrics).

I forgot to add: it's an optional Seikyo Shimbun supplement that has to be requested (and paid for), that is inserted into the paper regularly. It's official title is the "Lion Cubs for the Future" (?) newspaper. The dear phantom leader is heavily featured within its pages and there is even a serialized cartoon version of "the human revolution" in every edition; all of the gakkai presidents are young, vibrant, handsome (even Toda), and courageous protagonist superheroes. The phantom leader oversees everything.

**********

I second SGBye's welcome "Freeheartandmind." (PS - those 70's tozan uniforms were definitely "higher than the sky!")

"Lion cubs for the Future"??? A-A-O-unbelievable. Man, it's scary seeing the little ones sucked into this vortex.

Freeheartandmind, thanks for sharing a little bit of your experience! I started in the 80's, when G.M. Williams was in his prime. Did not realize that it was so manic back in the 70's. Thanks to you and Wakatta1 telling how it all went. Looking forward to more from you!

"Freeheartandmind, thanks for sharing a little bit of your experience! I started in the 80's, when G.M. Williams was in his prime. Did not realize that it was so manic back in the 70's. Thanks to you and Wakatta1 telling how it all went. Looking forward to more from you!"

Shavoy, I remember when George Williams name change was announced. We were told he selected the most generic name possible (well, maybe Jim Smith is even more generic) so the NSA would be more americanized. This was a really big deal back then, him changing his name. Although I had a picture of Ikea (lmao again) on the table where my altar was, I probably respected Williams more because he was more real.

My dad brought me into NSA. Dad is deceased now, but if I could I would ask him why he got me involved in that mess. I was a vulnerable teen, but he was 48 years old in 1971! Dad was a lifelong salesman and loved that recruiting in NSA was so much like sales, he used to talk about closing the sale when somebody received a gohonzon. I think he liked the women also. He eventually returned to his Christian roots also, but not after being in a leadership position and wasting a lot of time and money going to conventions and the like.

Probably the most disturbing thing about my NSA experience was that my group leader was a violent man who regularly abused his live-in girlfriend, who was also active in the org. This was an open secret. The girlfriend, who was ten years older than me, and I were very close and I got the grisly details, more than I wanted to know really. She went for "guidance" and of course was given the crap about the dirty water coming out the hose, human revolution, etc. NSA even married this couple! She had two kids from a prior marriage who were also caught up in this horrible situation. It is shameful that NSA promoted this person and did anything other than sanction him and advise her to get away and get help for domestic abuse. Eventually, she had to leave town because he almost killed her. So much for cause and effect. How can you clean your hose when you keep making bad "causes"?

We were crowded in like sardines during Sunday morning meetings at the community center, I'm sure fire regulations were regularly violated due to over occupancy. They really didn't care about us. After the meeting, the Japanes WD would sell ramen for 50 cents a bowl. 50 cents! Remember, I'm talking about 40 years ago. You can make a profit selling ramen for 50 cents a bowl now! Although a slightly larger CC was opened, it was still far from adequate, and a long way from south side members like myself. It took 90 minutes to get up there on public transportation, and another 90 minutes back, unless you could get a ride and then we would cram into cars, also unsafe. After late nights up there, older YWD would sometimes drive me near where I lived, but I would be dropped off and have to walk three or four blocks in the dark late at night. It would have taken maybe two more minutes to take me to my front door, but obviously my safety was not their uppermost concern. I'm sure these women were exhausted, we would be at the CC during the week making costumes and props for whatever event was coming next, and we would stay well into the night. Some lost their jobs because of excessive tardiness and absence. Many YMD and YWD did not take any time for even basic grooming and self care, and always had a disheveled appearance. Many looked better when they first got in than after they had been in a while! But I was a young true believer, certain that I was doing my part for cousin rufus and achieving my own enlightenment at the same time. Plus, I was an overweight teenager without much of a social life, and NSA filled that void. I belonged! I surmise that the sense of belonging is key to joining and staying in a cult, until the pain of staying in outweighs the pain of getting out. It was all an illusion, the belonging, the friendships, all of it. And like many of you, I was depressed, even on the pilgrimage I felt a cloud over my head. No peace, no joy, just pressure to chant and do the daily prayers and guilt if you fell short.

I was asked to drop out of cheerleading rah rah because I didn't fit in size wise...after I was leading the dancing & the woman who cut me was jealous of my frienship with her fiance! How funny is that? I was in my thirty's by then...what was I thinking? Anyway, thats when I quit the first time. I cannot believe how crazy that sounds! We drove fm Laguna Bch to Santa Monica to see senior leaders like Mrs. Williams & Mr. Kikamura every nite after tbe meetings! We got home at 2am & I got up at 4:30am to do Gongyo! That accounts for the fibromyalgia that showed up then. Still, those memories r good ones for the most part..at least they r now!

Now they r coming up with more craziness for the kids. Jr. Pioneers ages were older than they r pushing this time. My kids hated those activities. I cannot imagine women going along with this lion club thing! Thank goodness I don't have to "volunteer" for that committee! If there r any active members "reading" this post for report, PLEASE DO NOT MAKE UR KIDS JOIN THAT CLUB! They will never let u forget it! Geez!

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Freeheartandmind
"Freeheartandmind, thanks for sharing a little bit of your experience! I started in the 80's, when G.M. Williams was in his prime. Did not realize that it was so manic back in the 70's. Thanks to you and Wakatta1 telling how it all went. Looking forward to more from you!"

Shavoy, I remember when George Williams name change was announced. We were told he selected the most generic name possible (well, maybe Jim Smith is even more generic) so the NSA would be more americanized. This was a really big deal back then, him changing his name. Although I had a picture of Ikea (lmao again) on the table where my altar was, I probably respected Williams more because he was more real.

My dad brought me into NSA. Dad is deceased now, but if I could I would ask him why he got me involved in that mess. I was a vulnerable teen, but he was 48 years old in 1971! Dad was a lifelong salesman and loved that recruiting in NSA was so much like sales, he used to talk about closing the sale when somebody received a gohonzon. I think he liked the women also. He eventually returned to his Christian roots also, but not after being in a leadership position and wasting a lot of time and money going to conventions and the like.

Probably the most disturbing thing about my NSA experience was that my group leader was a violent man who regularly abused his live-in girlfriend, who was also active in the org. This was an open secret. The girlfriend, who was ten years older than me, and I were very close and I got the grisly details, more than I wanted to know really. She went for "guidance" and of course was given the crap about the dirty water coming out the hose, human revolution, etc. NSA even married this couple! She had two kids from a prior marriage who were also caught up in this horrible situation. It is shameful that NSA promoted this person and did anything other than sanction him and advise her to get away and get help for domestic abuse. Eventually, she had to leave town because he almost killed her. So much for cause and effect. How can you clean your hose when you keep making bad "causes"?

You are not alone. from Yahoo Gohonzon Forum yesterday:


"I don't know what they are doing with the history or how they are painting Toda these days.

but too many people ,,,,were alive and not demented yet in the early seventies to out right lie about Toda...

as per guzzling saki...i asked this Japanese guy about it at the time, for it was spoken about in a fondness about the man...

He said that there is some sort of tradition with older japanese people that due to old age and sickness and i guess pain, they basically live off saki. he explained it is made from rice and is quite nourishing...

now this was the early seventies and well i doubt if that explanation is bandied about...

having seen a lot of alcoholism i must of have had a look of horror on my face for the guy to go into that ,in so much depth...

but the guy gave me the impression the man lived on sake....

i recall stories from a few of the heady trips back from japan, i never went on tozan....

people that were inclined towards drinking had a lot to tell...

there was this chapter chief who me mum was close to too...her husband, also a chapter chief, would drink and like beat her up constantly...me mum's job was to put humpty dumpty together again for the weekend meetings....

anyway he came back from japan and his bustudan became filled with booze offerings...

i questioned it and he explained "Guidance" he got from senior leaders he drank with on tozan who explained to him that booze was his life and it was ok...

the guy would get that weird look after three beers ....he could not drink....

now his alter was packed with bottles of alcohol as offerings....the beatings continued till they split up....

the gakki support systems were weird at the best of times and dealt with skeletons in a weird way....membership always trumped anything one did...." -- Docforpeace