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The Anticult
From memory, in a 330 page thread, there was only ONE time one person, probably in a moment of being emotionally upset, said something like that, that obviously no one condones!
That goes with saying, to anyone who has read a thread like this.
So why keep going back to one single thing, that one person said?
They said it, so address it to them. One person made that comment, so address them specifically about it.
Its not about the thread in general, or the hundreds of pages of specific example of SGI malfeasance.
Its a mistake to overgeneralize the thread in general, when only the person who said it should be addressed for the comment.
Its a public comment area, not a 'groupthink' situation like a cult, where everyone strives to think in a similar way. Of course, each person is responsible for their own comments and viewpoint.
Or report that comment to the Moderator, and they will most likely delete that comment.
There is a button that says something like 'report this comment to a moderator'.
Why distort an entire thread, from a single comment, from a single person?
Sometimes coming out of cults, some people can get angry. That is just reality.
So report that comment, and one would assume the Moderator will delete that part of it.
Sometimes people make an error of thinking that random people posting on a public forum critical of a sect are a "group", but its not. Each person is responsible for their own individual thinking and comments.
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Mitchell
Hello everybody,
I'm so glad I found this forum. I read this thread for hours yesterday and it was quite eye opening. I am married to a SGI member who was born in Japan and for the past 15 years or so has lived in the US. We have been married for a little over 2 years and it has been really good for the most part. I knew getting into this relationship that she was a member but honestly I really did not know anything about SGI. As a former member of a cult, the word of faith movement, I would have never knowingly pursued this relationship. Anyway, she really has a wonderful personality and I am finding that just like SGI, the exterior is wonderful, but the interior sparkles a little less.
I have, through the years, asked and confronted her about a few of the cultish things I've seen. The response has always been something like "I've never seen those things" and things like "It works for me and I am happy". It's really hard to argue your points against that sort of stuff, so I just let it go. All was fine until last December when our daughter was born. Wife's mom and sister came from Japan and stayed a while. Long story short, my wife had complications that led to strokes that put her in the hospital 2 days after the birth. Wife's mom got all selfish and got upset that she, wife's mom, wasn't getting enough attention. I told wife's mom to back off and my wife totally does a 180 and turns on me! Big blow up and wife's mom flies back to Japan in a huff. Good riddance. Through it all, there was an uncanny devotion to her mom as the hero and me as the villan.
I said all the above to illustrate a trust issue that suddenly appeared in the marriage. For the first time I saw that my wife was more devoted to her mom/family than me/our marriage. Not cool. So began many heated fights that mostly centered on my fear that if my wife was so devoted to her mom that what would keep my wife from taking our daughter to Japan and not returning? (Japan is a haven for child abductors)....
OK, now the SGI part of all this. The blind devotion to her mom naturally made me wonder about the devotion to the SGI. She has kept most of her SGI stuff away from me because she knows I am not on board with it. What I have learned from reading all about the SGI is that this method of separating the SGI stuff from me was working to my wife's advantage, sort of a quiet agenda operating under the radar. My lack of knowledge of SGI combined with my ignorance of the Japanese language has been used against me all this time and I am only now catching on. The shit hit the fan last night when I made the connection between my daughter's middle name and SGI. I remember my wife insisting that she REALLY wanted the name "Kalen". Sounded good enough to me, whatever. She said it meant "Lotus flower". I was like, cool, that's nice. Then it hit me that that name is essentially in the effing chant that she has been saying her whole life! Great! Now my daughter is forever branded with a cult name that has special meaning to the members. It's perfect, it's a badge to the members and at the same time perfectly innocent to non members. But it is my wife who designed this all along, and I, who unbeknownst to me, approved it. I also found out that she has been giving SGI money without my knowledge.
As today is the first sunday of the month, she was planning to go to a meeting. That's when I let it all out that I knew what it was all about. She seemed shocked that I knew so much. She said today she was to give her "experience". I asked if her story would include all the lying and the discontent at home... I was going to go and see all this craziness for myself but we stayed home and fought.
I would appreciate any guidance from you all that you care to give. I tend to be a firebrand and you all seem to have a clearer head than mine. When I finally saw that I was in a cult years ago and that I waisted so much time, money and energy, I was furious. This crap drives me nuts.
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As today is the first sunday of the month, she was planning to go to a meeting. That's when I let it all out that I knew what it was all about. She seemed shocked that I knew so much. She said today she was to give her "experience". I asked if her story would include all the lying and the discontent at home... I was going to go and see all this craziness for myself but we stayed home and fought.
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I sent her this thread and I think she began reading it last night. Also today I will stop by the bookstore and pick up a Buddhism 101 book. Any suggestions?