You are sweet. The kids you care for will be fortunate.
I don't "put up" the kids/ young adults who find their way to my place. Wellspring is the best place for that! Am still doing my recovery process, and learning to be a material girl. Will probably be a lifelong process.
The grapevine passes my phone # along sometimes (I have a few 'nieces' and 'nephews' with whom I stay in close contact). The 20-something grapevine then sometimes brings their friends, the newly defectors Children of the Age of Enlightenment over to my place for Sunday brunch. I am NOT, nor ever will be, a recovery specialist. So sad for these young people to enter adulthood in such confusion - surviving adolescene is hard enough!
But sometimes it's nice for those young adults to see a face that they remember from their early childhood, that tells them they are not crazy, and the outside world is NOT a frightening place. That's the extent of my involvement. I have a demanding 'real life', besides being on this message board. My real work is in another field.
Jojo, I suggest you read about cult persuasion and intimidation tactics, as well as recovery. IMHO, that will help you understand your internal process, provide some suggestions how you could gently open up conversation to your friend.
As a 4th generation cultee, she may never leave. Leaving would mean betraying her entire family and all that they stand for. sigh. IMHO, can only save ourselves, and provide some gentle support to those others who are already questioning. As all the 'experts' write & in my experience, addressing the 'cult issue' directly with those in such groups will backfire.