I started this thread for ex-Christadelphians ("Brothers of Christ"). Use this to share your story and help others who may be ex-members and confused and scared.

Here is what the Christadelphian's apparently preach:

[www.carm.org]

It seems the Christadelphians believe what many christians believe. Am I wrong?

My biggest complaint is they seem to cut people off who "stray". See:

Quote
kelly W
I am a former Christadelphian and have been disfellowshipped w in the last 6 months. I had a relationship w a separated man. ( I am widowed). All of my 3 sons have been raised in this ecclesia. They have been told to shun me by members of the group, and even by my very own brother. It has been brutal. When I attend, I am shunned and if I don't attend for a while, i am ladened w guilt. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Kelly

b]

Are any ex-Christadelphians here that can help kelly W? Many of us have been abused by controlling christian cults/sects. If you are "only lurking" then now is your time to help a fellow christian!



Edited 5 time(s). Last edit at 05/06/2010 12:27PM by Sparky.

Quote
Sparky
Here is what the Christadelphian's apparently preach:

[www.carm.org]

It seems the Christadelphians believe what many christians believe. Am I wrong?

My biggest complaint is they seem to cut people off who "stray". See:

Quote
kelly W
I am a former Christadelphian and have been disfellowshipped w in the last 6 months. I had a relationship w a separated man. ( I am widowed). All of my 3 sons have been raised in this ecclesia. They have been told to shun me by members of the group, and even by my very own brother. It has been brutal. When I attend, I am shunned and if I don't attend for a while, i am ladened w guilt. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Kelly

b]

Are any ex-Christadelphians here that can help kelly W? Many of us have been abused by controlling christian cults/sects. If you are "only lurking" then now is your time to help a fellow christian!

Such a very amazing link!
Thanks you for the post.

__________________
Watch Splice Online Free

I need some help if possible.

I am married to a wonderful woman who is still trying to overcome her Christadelphian past.

I am looking for a "true" ex-Christadelphian who can help. I noted a post on here from a "Hope Tailor" before, but I am open to anyone who can help her work past the brainwashing of this group. I have been working with her as well as a pastor from the church we attend together, but she has been so ingrained in the false doctrines that it is difficult to even get her to listen to anything else.

Can anyone suggest some things?

Ben

See the entries under the heading "Christadelphian HELP PLEASE," also on this website.

See also, "Christadelphian HELP PLEASE" also located on this website.

its intrasting

I was raised Christadelphian and left home when I was eighteen, partially due to the the Christadelphian beliefs. I can relate to the writers who speak of being shunned and being isolated from family. I rarely hear from my sister who was baptized Christadelphian. On the rare occasion that I did see ecclesia members, they could only speak of concern for my mortal soul and belief in a heathen religion.
It is a great relief to me to know that others have had similar experiences as former Christadelphians. I only wish that I could give real help to those who need it after leaving.

Is it typical of Christadelphians to use excessive punishment or abuse with children?

Aine

Like most fundamentalist Christians, many Christadelphians believe in scriptural instructions to use "a firm hand" with children. Spare the rod, and spoil the child. If you have a rebellious teenager who will not submit to your parental authority, stone him/her. Etc., etc., etc. They interpret such scripture as permission to manhandle their children. One of my parents could quote entire chapters of scripture flawlessly, and could almost quote it backwards (I'm talking figuratively here). That same parent, prominent in the ecclesia, used a bread board to beat me, a lamp cord, a wicker rug beater, and a stick from a broom (without the straw on the end of it). The latter was almost as round as a half dollar. This same devout and scholarly parent would express contempt for me by spitting in my face, referring to me as "a parasite," kicking me in the groin, brandishing knives at me, killing my pets, and beating me on a weekly basis. This behavior started when I and my siblings would reach the age of four or five, and would continue until we left home. If you were 35 and still living at home, you got "the treatment." The sad thing about it was that it was extremely difficult to leave home with a mangled body and psyche, and the abuse caused us to stay in this intolerable situation longer than would be normal. We came to believe we could not function outside of the oppressive environment in which we were raised.

We became aware we would have been much more fortunate to have been orphans. If having a family registers somewhere between 1 and 100 on a scale of positive numbers, and orphans come into the world registering with a zero, we unfortunates had to work our way back from negative balances to live normal, functional lives. I'd say we began with negative balances of -70 or -90 or something. For half a dozen years after leaving my "religious" family I would wake up screaming at night. On one summer night when the windows were open I was screaming so loudly that lights went on halfway down the block where my house was situated.

Getting back to the "violence," is this behavior typical of Christadelphian families? I doubt it. But I did hear of such things occurring in some other Christadelphian families. I'd venture because of the tendency of Christadelphians to interpret scripture literally, where there are tendencies to direct violence toward children, they get acted upon more readily than if the family was part of a different, less rigid Christian denomination. I'd venture it's more common in all fundamentalist denominations.

I too have experienced the trauma of "shunning." When 90% or 95% of your life revolves around membership in some religious denomination, it brings new meaning to the term "social death." No matter how politely or quietly the church may do it, you get the clear message that you're a pariah. Such dear, sweet, compassionate Christians....... When I tried to reason with them, the response was always, "This is how it is going to be. Submit to our authority and punishment, or get lost."

There are two sites on Facebook for former Christadelphians. I found them helpful for the few months I belonged to them. Note, many of the people posting on the two sites are angry, bitter, and damaged. You can help them by offering supportive and compassionate messages and advice. Some of them have been on the sites for many, many years, suggesting they are having slow "recoveries," for lack of a better word.

May God bless their recoveries. And yours also.

Moderator: Please do not post my name along with this posting, if possible. Please also do not post these last two sentences, if possible.

I keep getting back on this website, but I am going to stop following its threads of discussion, for reasons I will try to articulate here as best I am able.

I will pose a question to myself: Were rank and file Christadelphians complicit in the things I suffered? The answer: Yes and no. Most Christadelphians would find some of the things I have described difficult to believe; I sometimes find it difficult myself to believe many of the things I and others have endured and described. Rank and file Christadelphians cannot be said to be responsible as a group for the acts of individual members. Maybe this thought can be articulated differently: it can perhaps be asserted that the religion's dogma, and the religion's organizations, helped create environments conducive to some of the things I and others suffered.

Be that as it may, it is important for defectors not to get trapped in the role of a victim. It may be important initially to embrace an identity as a victim, but if you don't at some point move beyond it, your victimizers can be considered to have achieved a kind of victory; if you remain mired in your misery or trauma, "they" have in some regards "won," for lack of a better word. By all means, if it helps you deal with something that happened in your life, wear the label of victim for a period, and empathize and commiserate with other victims, yes, indeed, but know in the end, while these things may be helpful in your recovery in some ways, in the end only you can decide to heal yourself, and only you can make the healing a reality. You must heal yourself, nurture yourself, strengthen yourself, reinvent yourself if necessary, and continue down life's road. If you fail to do so, you will have allowed your past to ruin your life.

What greater victory could "the bad guys" ask for?

At some point, it is important for each person to make a determination that he or she is going to move forward with life. After your period of healing is complete, whether it takes a year or a decade, resolve to move on. What happened to you does not need to define you. By moving forward, you take responsibility for your own life, and there is no good thing you desire that you cannot achieve. The past will always be there, but you can set down the burdensome baggage of victimhood and go on to live an abundant life.

My statements on this website constituted the final steps of my own recovery. I have put my own baggage down and my life is filled with love and work, good people and happiness. All despite the miseries I endured.

I wish each of you the same.