I am just going to share a little bit more as to why I chose to leave SGI. I can recall about two years ago, I was dating a member who was emotionally and verbally abusive. To make a long story short he dumped me in a way that was extremely cruel, almost to the point that I am sure that he is a sociopath. I remember telling one of the members and the only support that I got was: Kiesha this is buddhism working in it's way for you. You must chant for his happiness. A long time ago a woman was at a meeting and there was a guy who was sitting across from her she felt a connection to him so, she introduced herself to him and asked if he would like to come over and chant with her. The man ended up raping her. [This member later ended up telling me that it was meant for this to happen because she chose this life in a past life]. I was shocked and appalled but yes I did stay. I stayed because I was in tremendous pain and really depended on these people. This was about two years ago. I never really was quite the same after that and in the back of my mind somewhere knew that I would end up leaving, I just did not know when until the day after yesterday. A few of the young women struggled as a result of being in relationships and were basically told the same thing. That they should chant for someone else's happiness who had treated them so badly. I swear to God it was like being in a soap opera that I could not get out of, but I sincerely wanted to be enlightened. I tried my hardest. I will say this, the only thing that the chanting has done has, subdued my anxiety and made me feel better. Has it made me feel happy? I don't know and don't think so. It's ok though, because I believe that happiness is a concept that is sometimes abstract and very concrete. I get happy if I hear a song from my past, see a smiling baby, etc. etc. It's kind of sad to me that a quote such as Nam Myo Ho Renge Kyo is used for ulterior motives instead of what it should be used for and that is to make people feel at ease or happiness if they choose to. Nam Myo Ho Renge Kyo is a good thing, at least I believe, but other people have taken it and have chosen to turn it in to something else. Once again thanks for everyone's support who've responded to my messages. This is somewhat of a difficult time for me but I know that I can be happy in this lifetime without the SGI.

It takes great courage to leave. I salute you. I know you posted this some time ago last year. I was a part of SGI for 20 Years. I only received Gohonzon this year in July and returned it in December. This year I have been on a spiritual journey and searching for what, if anything, I want to be a part of. I decided that, after all this time, SGI is not for me. I like what you say about NMRK. I love Buddhism. I believe that people should be free to follow what they want to and in their own time. I never did believe in hard sell religions. SGI is almost but not quite "door to door promotion" a bit like the Mormons and Jehovas. When someone is trying to coerce me and sell me magazines and books I shy away. That's another thing about SGI. I wanted to get a Butsudan and was told that I should "only buy it from SGI" to make sure it's authentic. It's a way of saying that SGI members need to keep all expenditure benefiting SGI. The same with that monthly magazine.... its not so much about Buddhism but more about Ikeda. Another thing I didn't agree with and couldn't get my head around was the idolisation of Ikeda! It seems that you must have him as your mentor in the mentor disciple relationship or you won't become enlightened. So it's not so much about Nichiren Buddhism any more. And also the contribution to Kosen Rufu fund? Need I say more. :)
I am glad I got out. Now I am free to read about different schools of Buddhism and different spiritual paths and religions if I choose and take the best of each of them to enrich my life and help me to live in a better and happier way.
And finally on leaving you are lead to believe that you will not be enlightened through any other religion or Buddhism and that ND Buddhism and SGI is the only way to do it. I don't agree. You are not encouraged in meetings to speak your mind and share doubts but you are browbeaten into submission. I believe "Shakabuku" means literally to be BROKEN and EDUCATED (In the ways of ND and SGI) I don't confuse ND Buddhism and SGI. I don't think they are one and the same? I didn't feel content, as a Buddhist, to follow SGI. There are too many aspects that make me feel uncomfortable and that don't sit right. I saw new members coming in that were being brainwashed and I know how hard it is to get away. Funnily enough all those members that I knew when I was a part of SGI have not called or texted once since I left. What does that tell you?