Religion does not have to equal spirituality. There are many spiritual people without a religion, and many religious people that are definitely not spiritual.

Getting my education has done wonders for my recovery. Toni you seem like it has for you also.

Talking to others from similar situations is also very theraputic.

Thank you for the links for cult recovery therapists. I may look into it if I can swallow my pride and get up the nerve to.

I feel like I have recovered as much as I can on my own now, and will not be able to any more if I don't do something else.

Jewels

Jewels :

It IS soo worth swallowing your pride and getting to an appopriate specialist! I'd been to other therapists before, but they just don't 'get it'. This is BIG, and truly a specialty focus.

And you don't even have to worry about your pride, this was done to you! You did nothing wrong. Just some minor tweeking may be all you need, to help release the vestigal cult thinking. Like yourself, I'd done a lot of moving beyond on my own too. Reading (a ton) of cult recovery books helped too.

Oh, btw, i work in obstetrics, about 50% of pregnancies don't make it. Glad you are not overly traumatized about the early miscarriage. It just happens sometimes for no known reason. Just allow your body three months to recover, then you can try again

Good luck! -- on all levels!

I just ran across this, it tells a story that discribs many of my own experiances, because I was in the same boat as many of these boys.........expendable and unwanted by their church.

[www.culteducation.com]

Oh BTW. the link .factnet.org dosn't work... but I was able to get there thanks.

Ok I just spent the last hour and a half searching those sites and I did'nt find any therapists or hte like. I may be missing somthing here. One looked to me like a sort of informational book store for cult issues. looks like a good referance site. I'll try calling while there open tomarow. I did get there #s thanks.

Hi Escapee :

Sounds terribly painful!

Again, I suggest purchasing the video "Devil's Playground" about Amish youth. Similar, but minus the polygamy. You'll probably need a box of tissues with you while you watch it.

hmmm.... www.factnet.org works for me. Maybe the website was having some problems when you tried it. I found my therapist listed on one of their pages.

AFF (www.csj.org) has videos for sale from recent conference. One is about folks having grown up in a polygamist setting, another one is about the developmental milestones that have been missed by those who were raised in cults. Just happens that I've purchased those two, they are stacked on my TV. Cannot yet bring myself to watch them. Maybe later this week. The sooner it's all faced, the sooner can move through all! I was not raised in a polygamist setting, but as in any cult, there was a lack of boundaries between various families.

Glad you're seeking help!
Keep going!

toni, hi.

I did get in touch with a theripest and I did find allot of info that helped.
I no longer have to wonder if the psychologests I'v seen are in on some big scam against me. I was able to, for the first time see why they cannot help me, that is cause they don't know how and are not traind to deal with the issues I am, and maney of us, are faced with. This was a big rileaf to me, made me feal better. Thanks! I was like, thats it, no shit, exactly.
I feal confidn't that the people I'v gott'n in touch with can help me with what I need.

Once I get through with theripy I'm looking forward to schooling. For the first time I feel good about it.

Its such a raleaf to now that I can get help by people that know whats going on. They where able to discribe some of what I was going through without me telling them. That suprised me.

Anyways, thanks for the refferances.

Now all I need is someone with writing skill's so I can write a book abut my expiriances, including recovery, somthing I'v wanted to do for years now.

Escapee :

Good job!
You'll learn how to write when you get to college. They'll take you through a series of basic English classes, and then advanced writing classes. Then you'll write your stories! And they WILL sell!
You could even record them on a micro casette recorder for now. Then transcribe (write) them out and have someone else edit them, or rewrite them for clarity w/ your suggestions.

Keep on!
t

Toni,

I checked the link, and there is one person that does exiting counseling. They are about four hours away and they are a Christian group. It sounds like they are there to teach you what is right. In their opinion. What can I say I live in the Bible Belt of the South.
Thanks for the link though,
Jewels

Hi Jewels :

I suggest phoning AFF (www.csj.org) they gave me some names that are not on the web sites. I had phoned them about the cult of my exBF. And guess what?! Even w/in the specialty of cult recovery therapists, AFF has them listed according to the various types of cults they specialize in...
e.g. christian, terrorist, meditation, psychotherapy, sex, new age, political, and probably some others that I don't know about. whoa!

The world is really beautiful, but there sure are some sick manipulators out there!

Don't give up. Also reading lots helped me tons! Even though I'd never been recruited, it helped me to understand the mind games that I'd normalized from my family and cult upbringing.

There are some Christian foundation cult recovery places, that do not protheletize (spelling?) when working. for example, Wellspring is residential cult recovery place that is Christian based, but does NOT preach their Christianity to their clients. It is totally counterproductive to replace one form of thought governance with another. Perhaps the therapist you found is along those lines? Still, 4 hrs is a along way to drive each way. Some folks I know have benefited from phone consultations.

Not to sound like I'm heavy pushing on therapy. IMHO, taking care of one's own self emotionally and psychologically comes first. But it can help when trying to sort out what to 'keep' and what to toss away from the early training in our brains.

Good luck! :D

Toni,

I think the word your using is, prothises also called proskomide, I just loked it up for spelling. It fits your scentance.

Also, jewls: well spring retreat is a very good option if you can spend two weeks. it's kid'a expencive, well not realy concidering the cost of therapy, and you need to suply your own transportation. I'v contacted them as one of my options. I contacted the BBB (better buisness buero) about them and they have no complaints and are listed with a satisfactory record. I would recomend contacting the BBB for whomever you chose to make sure your getting what you want. I would list the # for BBB but I'm not sure that would be ok in the forum guidlines. you can get the # from your local BBB agency. There may be other office's that can tell you abut the validity of theripists that I don't know about.

Another option I thought about is Steven Alan Hassan [www.freedomofmind.com] He will come to you for single one on one. he also offers group, or family sessions to help ease the berden of cost for those who don't have allot of money. He was one of my top picks. He has high credentials and is nationaly certifide, among other things.

Anyways, good luck and be carfull! Remember! Its worth it to check up on who you think will be best for you. Don't trust just anyone, I don't think you will your a smart girl, I just warn for caution's sake.

To whom it may concern:

See [www.culteducation.com]


Disclaimer regarding Steve Hassan

The Ross Institute of New Jersey/May 2013

The inclusion of news articles within the Ross Institute of New Jersey (RI) archives, which mention and/or quote Steven Hassan, in no way suggests that RI recommends Mr. Hassan or recognizes him in any way.

News articles that mention Steve Hassan have been archived for historical purposes only due to the information they contain about controversial groups, movements and/or leaders.

RI does not recommend Steven Hassan.

RI has received serious complaints about Steve Hassan concerning his fees. Mr. Hassan does not publicly disclose his fee schedule, but according to complaints Steve Hassan has charged fees varying from $250.00 per hour or $2,500.00 per day to $500.00 per hour or $5,000.00 per day. This does not include Mr. Hassan's expenses, which according to complaints can be quite substantial.

Steven Hassan has charged families tens of thousands of dollars and provided questionable results. One recent complaint cited total fees of almost $50,000.00. But this very expensive intervention effort ended in failure.

Dr. Cathleen Mann, who holds a doctorate in psychology and has been a licensed counselor in the state of Colorado since 1994 points out, "Nowhere does Hassan provide a base rate and/or any type or accepted statistical method defining his results..."

Steve Hassan has at times suggested to potential clients that they purchase a preliminary report based upon what he calls his "BITE" model. These "BITE reports" can potentially cost thousands of dollars.

See [corp.sec.state.ma.us]

Steve Hassan runs a for-profit corporation called "Freedom of Mind." Mr. Hassan is listed as the corporate agent for that business as well as its president and treasurer.

RI does not recommend "Freedom of Mind" as a resource.

RI also does not list or recommend Steve Hassan's books.

To better understand why Mr. Hassan's books are not recommended by RI read this detailed review of his most recently self-published book titled "Freedom of Mind."

See [www.cultnews.com]

Steve Hassan's cult intervention methodology has historically raised concerns since its inception. The book "Recovery from Cults" (W.W. Norton & Co. pp. 174-175) edited by Dr. Michael Langone states the following:

"Calling his approach 'strategic intervention [sic] therapy,' Hassan (1988) stresses that, although he too tries to communicate a body of information to cultists and to help them think independently, he also does formal counseling. As with many humanistic counseling approaches, Hassan’s runs the risk of imposing clarity, however subtly, on the framework’s foundational ambiguity and thereby manipulating the client."

RI has also learned that Mr. Hassan has had dual-relationships with his counseling clients. That is, clients seeing Mr. Hassan for counseling may also do professional cult intervention work with him.

Professionals in the field of cultic studies have also expressed concerns regarding Steven Hassan's use of hypnosis and Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP).

Based upon complaints and the concerns expressed about Mr. Hassan RI does not recommend Steve Hassan for counseling, intervention work or any other form of professional consultation.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/10/2013 08:35PM by rrmoderator.

Hi Escapee and Jewels :

I just watched a video from last AFF conference about your background.

OUCH! :(

You are incredible to be moving forward and doing your lives.
As functional as you now are, and what you've already overcome, you really have the ability to create wonderful lives for yourselves.

Congratulations on seeking help.
And my hat is off to you for your courage and perserverance!

toni