Hello,

I'm a 40 year-old woman, and I'm finally realizing that I was essentially raised in the cult of est. As a child in the late 70s and early 80s, my entire paternal family (including grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins) did the training and were very involved with the est organization. Though I did not "do" the training, I did participate in and assist with several workshops.

To foist the est-ian kind of authoritarian experimental fascist psychology on young children and adolescents is reprehensible to me. Children can't make their lives 'work.' Their lives have barely even started.

I'm wondering if there are others like me...who shudder when they meet Landmark Forum participants. Who remember the endless agreements. And the search for approval. I'd love to hear from you so I know I'm not alone.

Thanks.

I too am a child of EST parents. I am now 41 (42 in september) and my entire life with my mother and many other family members revolved around EST. It was not untill last year that I finally realized that EST was a cult which was masqueraded as life enriching program. I did the program at 12 years of age and it took me many years to overcome the psychological dammage which was inflicted upon me by my mother and family members. There was constant criticism, "processing" verbal attacks, and attacks of character. My mother passed away many years ago, but the feelings still linger. I have made a clear decision to distance myself from my family to avoid their destructive behavior, I wanted to do it when I was in my 20's but then my family, once again at the persistence of my mother became involved with another cult, The Sterling Institute of Relationship. Finally today, I am on the right track and I am pursuing a Doctorate in Psychology (PsyD) which my family does not support. So I go it alone. I know the anguish you went through, the feelings of isolation, perhaps even feelings of worthlessness and even the consideration of suicide.

Although my father never had anything to do with EST or any other cult, because he is a heavy alcoholic, he sure was not there as much of a support in my life. We are on good talking terms now, but I would rather not see him much anymore and will keep my distance. But that is another story.

My sister and her husband, my brother and his wife, my stepfather and several other family members have all done the EST training and to this day they still do not see the powerful destructive effect it had on their lives.

Mysticjaw, thanks for replying. It's good to know we're not alone. Do you feel like you were able to overcome the trauma? I've been trying for so long that I'm just tired. Were there any kinds of therapy that helped more than others? Good luck with your PsyD.

Hello HR,

the most powerful thing which really helped me was just good old fashioned psychotherapy. My psychotherapist truly listened to me and I was finally able to fully grasp the full content of how I was not listened to by my family when I brought up rational thought but they did not want to hear it. CBT and REBT have been very helpful in gaining some level of self worth and self esteem back in my life.

Also, having a psychotic break brought on by medication allowed me to actually see what goes on in the mind of those who have such certainty and know they are "touched" by God. I do not recomend the psychotic break, but I do recomend that you read up on Personality Disorders, Bipolar Depression and Schizophrenia, especially areas concerning mania and hypomania. It will enlighten you to the full problems these people have. Werner, although not Bipolar or Schizophrenic, had a personality disorder, probably a full blown Narcicist, judging from his behavior.

Do not go to an MFT, they are not educated enough to understand what you have experienced and are not skilled enough at helping you move through your issues. I am not coming down on MFT's, hardly, it is just that the specialized analytical skills Psychologists posses are more highly tuned than those of the MFT's.