Hi Melissa and Jos,

I don't get to my email much these days. So this is partly why I haven't responded. The other reason is I worry that writing here will do no good for me. I may be wrong.

I wrote earlier some other things that were moderated out. I think it was due to putting contact info in which is a no-no in the forum venue I think I understand why. I wrote my story with Daniel and EBE on my website on gaia. Melissa and others, you can find it on google.

There are days where I still run through the spin of everything around my relationship with Daniel, Mark, and others there in EBE. And today I can say they were right about me. Pretty much everything they were pointing to was correct about me and my defenses. The way Daniel communicated it I disagree with. But he was correct in his assessment of me in my own illusions of myself, how I was not relating to reality, in codependence with certain people, etc. And yet, for me to get what he was saying the timing and the way he was communicating it was completely wrong for me. Then there were other aspects that I think were his own shadow playing out. Nobody is perfect.

I know he is way beyond me. I don't ever think I will experience reality in the way he does.

I can say that whenever I get in the spins around this, I feel like I am in a heavy-duty punishing/shame loop that I can't out of.

I had a very difficult upbringing. Trying to sort it all out has been very hard, and my relationship to Daniel and EBE, just made it harder in many ways. I still look to Daniel as a father figure and really want his approval. I don't know if that will ever change.

I like the idea of Daniel being on Dr. Phil. In my fantasy world he either one, gets totally rocked in how culty his world is... and he collapses. Or two, he really shows Dr Phil a thing or two about life. Either way its not a pretty scenario for me to be involved with. Being with 'the best guy in the world' was my addiction. He is a genius in many ways, and spiritually attained in many ways. The image he offers is something that I so got lost in. Still do some days. And that is after 2 friggin years of leaving.

He is most likely quite fine in his life. I can't imagine him missing me or our connection. As he said, 'what you get from our connection is far more than what I do', ie I don't need you, but I want you in my life... I love you... but I won't support your unhealthy ways.

Its true. I did get more from my connection with him than he me. I don't know if that is a bad thing though. And what I got I don't know how much of it was really good for me.

What I was trying to say Melissa is I know first hand what it is like for a son to do this with his mom, as I did it with my mom. Several times. On my wedding day, at Daniel's home - that one was face to face. On my mothers deathbed, because she wasn't getting it as I thought she should, due to Daniels prognosis of her and my own. Years before, when Daniel disconnected from her as did several others, and I too. I did this many times. I felt 'good' doing it. But like Jos says, I had to come back into the world of brothers and sisters. And see how I affect them. My mom, before she died told Venessa, who is still involved with EBE as far as I know, that she hoped I would one day leave Daniel and EBE. I've done this, I don't know if I am better for it. Many people tell me I am, people that know me fairly well.

The whole thing has been such a complex thing to sort out. I am by no means healed, done, or got it figured out. I just know, I met this guy, I had some experiences with him, some good, some bad. I was confused, still am in many ways, and I wonder if I would be better off going back, but then I think of all the things I couldn't reconcile in myself about it all. And it leaves me with a no, I can't go back. And it sucks, because in many ways I really want to. So its like missing the closest thing to a family I ever had, besides the one that I did, which completely sucked and then fell apart. I miss belonging. I miss going to someone that I believed really had the answers I needed to live my life. I miss the group spaces. I miss the feeling of being on the verge of something new in myself. I miss the cool folks there. I miss a lot of things. I'm still fucked up, just like I was there. I am just more aware of it now. A lot of good that does. I am glad I am not working with people though, I can say that.

I do think its a shitty thing to do to someone that you know for so many years, to just cut off contact. Daniel did this to me. I did it with others I knew. Your son did it with you. It leaves something incomplete in the relationship in the name of some principle. I was left spinning. Still am. I did not have closure with Daniel Barron. I don't know if I will ever have this. My wife was couragous enough to show up at his house when he cut off from her, and just say I needed to see you, to put an end to it. He was hiding in the back of his house, and then finally came out. He gave his your are in your sentinel speech and she said what she needed to say and then left. I respect her ability to do that.

I have not been able to walk up to him like that and say:

Daniel, I miss you and I don't miss some of the ways I felt when I was around you. I am deeply confused as a person and by you. I always have been. There were many things that our relationship gave me. I was hurt and confused by several things that happened between us. You have had a huge impact on my life, and my daily experience. I wish these things could be reconciled within my own heart. I wish I could not feel this split between me and a whole group of people in the world, ones that I was near to for so long. I have felt shame my whole life. I did in the ESH community, and leaving just added to this shame. Maybe someday, you will see me and say you are sorry. I felt I truly tried to do my best to do right by you and me and our relationship. I give up on you and me ever having this occur.
I wanted you to show me how to be myself. I wanted you to show me how to father my son. I wanted him to grow up being around you. I had all these dreams of being in a community with you all, raising my family up in it. But there was so much upheavel all the time, it was not the best environment for a family I think now. When you separated from us right before our birthing Savar, that was really hard. I felt so abandoned. I cannot imagine you ever knowing how deeply I was hurt by that. I have no idea who you really are. I can only go by my own experiences.

Mark,
I so admired your abilities in the real world (as I was soo not in it), black belt in aikido, business coach, your determination. I felt awkward at times with you, because you looked at me in a way that I felt was projecting something onto me that was not really me. I did my best as a facilitator for you, but I really didn't know what the fuck I was doing and in many ways pretended that I did. Then later when we became more friends I found a sense of ease in our connection. I have seen how I pretty much take from everyone energetically, and I see I did this with you too. I am sorry for how I hurt you. I have been walled to feeling how I do not feel my impact on others. I was jealous of you. I really fucked with you at a couple points as your facilitator. You were the closest thing I have had as a friend since I was in high school. And at the same time, you could be one the of the nastiest assholes I have ever met. Really cruel to to others, and me. I was pretty nasty myself. I feel still confused about our relationship, and like something never got to complete. And I was sad to see you seem to become like a Daniel clone that last time I met you.

llene,
I pined for the projected glamor in your wealth. I felt jealous I was not Sam or in your family. It seemed like you all got the goodies. I mistreated you on a couple different occasions, I am sorry for how I was mean with you. I loved your honesty and brilliance as well as your commitment to yourself and your healing along with your family. You are a beautiful person. Thank you for giving me the many gifts you did. I do wish you and Nancy would reconcile regardless of what Daniel thinks of her.

Jillian, I still care about you as a person. I miss you, and I have been really inappropriate with women most my life, and with you as well. I am sorry for this and how this affected your own healing journey.

Linda, I hid in your bubbly energy, and felt you never really saw the real nasty me, that was hiding and just taking from you and others. I am sorry. I disrespected you and my wife in several ways that I can only hope with time I can rebuild the trust around how I've done this with women and been unfaithful to my partner.

I have no idea if what you all are doing is really what the claim is for it to be. I do know of my own shadow, or what I do know of it today to be and it has been pretty hard to come to terms with. I miss you and the feeling of a shared-ness of life that we had. I miss the groups. I miss the questions and answers that came. I miss Merlin. I miss experiencing the movements in folks.

I don't miss feeling so split and fucked up in side, of course I still have some of the fucked-upness inside.

I miss the beautiful people in Germany I met and came to love, Artur, Markus, Elke, Hiedrun, Werner and others. I love you all deeply.

If there was some other format or forum where I could go to clear all of this with you I would, but there is not. When you said you would have no more contact with me Daniel, that was to say that I was no longer allowed in any of the groups, and you were in all of them. So it was like in effect saying your out. I did speak to some of you. And I felt ashamed. I remember having more memories of being sexually abused around that time and feeling like Daniel was like th perpertraitor, to go to him was just too scary. I did not have the gumption to go to a class or group and process this with all of you directly. My politeness of the midwest said inside, if you are told to no longer have contact, you don't go pushing your way into the door to say something. So I left. Then Daniel when you starting saying things like I was an idiot to Hannah while you were still in contact with her, I felt so stupid. I often felt this way around how I was not living up to the man that I felt Hannah deserved. Several times I felt that you would cut me down with her.

I guess that I was not really EBE material. An ESH person that just couldn't make the next cut into EBE. If you can't tell already how confused I am by this email, then I think we both need to laugh. I pray to Mother Mary, the Christ, Divine Father, and all of my Angels to enloven this whole situation so that it may be whole in my heart.

Ahhh. Big sigh. How's that for stream of consciousness writing. I realize I never gave myself the space to open put closure on this experience. To say what I needed to say openly. And seeing that Daniel has read this forum and so too have others involved with it, I know that it is an avenue to communicated, where there has been a wall to anything I would send via email or in person. I have no idea if this will change anything. But I do know that in the new group I was a part of today, someone left, and they were given so much love in the leaving, and not called names and told they were idiots and lost in their sentinels... that maybe one life they will get it and come back. It did something in me to witness this. I began to feel what I did not get a chance to have with you Daniel and others (and I imagine many people that have been ousted because they were stuck like Christian, Nancy, Nedra, Lela, Bara, Lenn, Glenda, Tej, Barbara, Carly, Sarah, Sarah, the old crew in Bend - Besty-Raiaka-Dave-etc, and the folks in Sedona... to name just a few).

Closure. Whatever is possible on that level, for now.

Eric

To the moderator

I have a question.
As you have seen, I started to write directly to Daniel Barron. Afterwards Eric Grace did the same. I would like to propose the other writers and everyone who’s coming to this forum to do the same. But I would like to know if this is allowed. If so, then my proposal would be to say as probable solution to all people coming to Rick Ross Forum, to do the like. To speak directly to whom it concerns, in my case to Daniel Barron, because that is in real the thing I want to do and also because Daniel Barron and the like read forums like this to know what is going around.

Another question is how far I can publish on the forum parts of this teaching in a moderated way (it much be modified because of possible copyright infringements). I would like to do that because it could help people to understand better how EBE works and also that then because of it, it will reach a greater population of people and therapists who could take up the valuable things in it and could develop together a real and open available therapy from it.

Greetings,
Jos Hoebe

Eric,
I have read and re-read your letter. What I see in you is what I see in many many people today... an abused child and a lack of connection and confusion as an adult. It sucks to be raised by people who should never have kids. I know this first hand. There are two kinds of people, people who grew up because of their parents and people who grew up in spite of them. And in both cases wounded young adults hit the street every day. We are human and we need to be connected. We are social we are not hermits. Daniel Barron is preying on this basic need. We all need to be felt. We all need love and approval from our family and friends. And we need to be connected to people who love us unconditionally. When we don't receive the support we need from our family we feel incomplete as humans and we look inward as though there must be something wrong with us. We must not be worthy of love. Thats our nature. Daniel Barron abused you. And he is abusing every person that gets into EBE on this principle. This is unhealthy and dangerous. When a person is pursuing themselves, their true beliefs and their place in this world they are fragile and it is the job of any religion not to abuse them at this moment. That seems to be impossible because most religion is about gain and power. Daniel Barron is sacrilegious. He is simply trying to edify himself and become powerful and all knowing in his image. The guy wants to be worshiped and he has a god complex. Family and friends is sacred territory. Eric, you don't need anybody to tell you that you are ok. Because you are okay. We all make mistakes, if EBE was truly designed in love you would not be ostracized. If you look at your child ... can you love him conditionally? Can you look at him and say, "Now if you do anything that I don't agree with, you're out of here!" I am betting you cannot. You are going to be that Dad that no matter what your son does you will love him with grace. My god man your NAME is grace. Give yourself some and give yourself a break. What happens to us when we are young is beyond our control and people who take advantage of young people have a serious problem. This does not define us. You are insightful, honest and you act in love. As for your mistakes... learn from them. Your inappropriateness with women is a need within yourself to be loved. Continuing to beat yourself up over it is unhealthy and unnecessary. Your experience and your lessons make you unique. It makes you, YOU. You don't need to be sorry or ashamed for being you. You don't need someone else's approval to make you whole. You're already whole and you have all the tools you need to heal. You are such a lucky man. You have a beautiful family and at the end of the day, what matters most? The people you love and who love you. Daniel Barron sitting at your Thanksgiving dinner will never be as fulfilling as having your wife and child (grandchildren someday) there. Never. Ever. Embrace that. Don't be so focused on the search for yourself that you miss what's important. If you want to know more about yourself, ask your wife. Who knows you better than her? And give yourself a break for your son's sake. No one in the world will love you unconditionally the way he will. Unless he joins EBE then lookout... cuz judgement day will be upon you. My son's birthday was yesterday. He did not call me and I honored his request not to contact him. I am crying as I write to you because of this. I miss him and our connection. I am not co-dependent on him but we are connected. Or were I guess. If you looked at his DNA you would find me. If you saw his face you would see my characteristics. I love my son unconditionally and I will be here when he comes around but you cannot guarantee that life will be conducive to that. Because at this very moment, my step dad is burying his 27 year old son (my step brother). I guess what I am trying to say to you is don't get so caught up that you miss it. Don't miss what's truly important because life is ultimately short. And Daniel Barron is screwed. I hope he goes to hell, soon. He does not have the right to mess with people's lives like this. Have faith in yourself Eric, love yourself and be graceful so that the world may be graceful in return.

Jos,
You danced around my question. "Let's look at the question".... really? Yes you need to be first. Without taking care of yourself how could you be there for your sons? You can't, obviously. My point is if you are standing in a position to save their lives and sacrifice your own I am betting you would. It's instinct. This is not something we do for strangers, but it is gut instinct when it comes to our families. They are yours. They came from you and you came from them and they are your people. You CANNOT be a parent unless you have a child. Having a Mom is great. Being one is even greater. My children gave me that. Most of us do not have perfect families, perfect relationships and we are not perfect ourselves. The act of educating ourselves and working to become better human beings is awesome. It should not be perverted. I am so sick of the wolves in sheep's clothes pastors, preachers, self professed profit's and self proclaimed experts I could puke. And who deemed Daniel Barron an expert? HE did!! I'd like to break his nose and kick him in the nuts. I don't wish him dead, however mute would suffice. Has anybody ever talked to any of Daniel's family? I would truly like to hear some of their experiences with the guy. They can't be that hard to find, although I am sure that they are not allowed to speak to his holiness. Has anybody dug into this guys closet to see what ghosts are hanging around in there? When was he born? And to who? These are the moments when I wonder.... of all the abortions, why couldn't he have been one? Him and a whole boat load of catholic priests? Life is to be enjoyed and friends and family to be loved. What the hell is so difficult about that.

All My Love, & Still Crying.... Melissa

I really feel your passion and boldness here Melissa. Thank you for it. I pray that you and your son's relationship finds its way to a place where you both feel good with it. I'm taking in your words and strength. Thank you. I still feel a lot of self-doubt and criticalness. I can only trust with time this will lessen and work itself out. I'll keep you all posted.

Eric

You are welcome. I am honest and blunt :) This is sometimes a blessing and sometimes a curse. It just frustrates me to pieces to see someone like you. I wish I could have made you pancakes when you were a kid. You have a beautiful heart and you are so blessed, and so doubtful, yet you have everything there is to have. All the truly important things in life lay at your feet. Step lightly :) I want to know if it would be okay to contact my son's girlfriend or if that's off limits too? I feel like if I do nothing it may be the wrong thing to do... yet if I intervene I could screw up everything too. I feel like every day my son gets further away and if I do nothing he will fall through the cracks. I am working on making him a photo album of his life. A little something to help him find his authentic self... but how do I deliver it when we have no contact? And... Jos said something about writing a book about EBE... what about a website? There is no good information for people interested in EBE to find both sides of the argument. Any suggestions? What would have helped you at the time? Any idea?

All my love,
Melissa

Hi Melissa,

I can understand how honesty and bluntness could be both blessing and challenging for you and those around you. I was hearing how a friend of mine who is italian (like Daniel is) is just direct like this (so is Daniel). Its a beautiful thing to find in our culture. From the midwest I didn't find that so much it was more important to be good, polite, and conservative.

It frustrates me too, I see I have so much, and yet my doubt is my biggest stumbling block. My biggest enemy is myself. Once that is sorted, there is so much to create, share, and enjoy. I do my best to work with this and embrace what I have, but it really is there 24-7.

I had pancakes this morning :) My wife made them for my son and I. Thank you for the thought. Your warmth and care is palpable.

I'm doing my best not to push away my son and wife by all my ways of doing so.

I can't much say about you with contacting your son or his girlfriend. I don't know any of you at all to really comment on that accurately. But if you are blunt and direct, and that is who you are, then why wouldn't you contact your son and fight for what you think is right? He's gonna see whatever he's gonna see right now. Speak what you feel, invite a dialogue. Offer your thoughts and feelings. To go to his girlfriend feels a bit too sideways that will make things more distorted. And not your way seemingly. I would also invite you to talk with some of the people that I know who have been in and have left, they would have some good things to share with you. I can give their contact info. I've listed my email on my profile here so you can contact me that way. Let's talk more that avenue.

As for what would have helped me in this situation? A forum to openly talk and put closure on what happened. This is here now for people to find that conversation.

I can see I think your struggle with what to do with your son. What a bind.

I was seeing today how Daniel criticized both of my parents and my family in a way that I took in with shame. I then learned to look down upon my parents and I split internally. This feeling superior pushed me further away from being able to feel my need of a close connection and healing with each parent. My willingness to be vulnerable enough with them in their limitations (which I thought I had way figured out in ESH/EBE through Daniel's help so as to not ever need to go there) is so important in my ability to become whole as myself. Now I am seeing I cannot avoid these kinds of conversations with my father who is still alive, if I am to be free of my inner turmoil about our relationship. I need to let him know, without blame of how much I need and needed closeness with him, how important he is to me. How much criticism I internallized from his unconscious ways of doing that with me, which he got from his father. I need to reach out to him for his help, to let myself be vulnerable enough to say this, and not to try and control or change him, but honestly let him see what I struggle with due to what is incomplete in our relationship. Then perhaps together we can help me find a way to being better within myself. This is what is missed for me going to someone else for a surrogacy in EBE. Yes I can work things through with other people, and I do. But I think I need to do this for myself and to gain my father back or forward. Or else I split and pretend I don't need him or us. And that creates havoc in my life in so many ways.

Oh, I would say too, start with sorting out what you want to do with your son, before going to the other things with exposing EBE and Daniel. Or else that energy could take away from what is really important to you.

As long as he can get that you honestly want to hear his side of the story, and are willing to learn new things about yourself and not sellout your true reality for keeping in contact, I can't see why it wouldnt' be important at some point for any child to talk with their parent. But maybe he just needs space, many kids do for a while to sort themselves out. If your relationship is as strong as you say it is, which I believe it is, trust him to find what is true for him and with you.

Eric

Mr. Grace,
Brav-oh! You are so incredibly articulate. Thanks for making me look up palpable, by the way. Great word! Nice touch. Ok, one thing at a time... you're right about the girlfriend. My conversation needs to be with my son. I sorta knew that, but it's tough on this mom. I think I was reaching. Here's my thought... I just started sorting boxes and boxes and boxes of photos and I am working on an album for him to help him find his authentic self and to get in touch with where he came from. I am doing a single album that is only him. From when he was brand new 'til now, and one of his relatives. But the relatives are not allowed in his personal book unless they are background or involved with whatever it is he's doing as long as he's the center of attention. Then a second book of the people I have pictures of who he's related to. And I have lots of photo's. I think this will be a wonderful opportunity to have a small positive conversation with him and leave. No drama. Just drop off his book and hope that it make him as happy as I think it will. (You can't believe the work this thing is. It's going to take weeks. Months maybe. Crap.) His girlfriend made a curious comment to me once... she asked why there are no pictures of Jeramy as a child. She wanted to know if I was too poor to afford a camera. The truth is I have more than a thousand pictures. Keep in mind he has a brother and we are talking about 20 years and there are plenty of pictures of other folks. Some very old heirloom photos too. To make a short story long... :)... I find it interesting that he has this perception. After all, our reality IS our perception. It isn't always what actually happens in our life, but how we perceive it. I find this an interesting interpretation. What are your thoughts?

As for the wife making pancakes... hooray! Isn't it funny that I mentioned it and she actually had made them that day? Unless of course she makes them often :) I love to cook. My kiddo's have eaten a plethora of different foods. Every thing from green eggs and ham to captain crunch covered French toast, quiche to smoky barbecue. I don't buy sauce at the store either. My point is, we had family dinner and it was the most amazing part of almost every day. There was a lot of love in those meals (and their life). I believe with all my heart that love conquers all. Isn't that the golden rule? Sometimes things get in the way of love. Like life for instance. You know... that whole; you make plans and then life happens right in the middle of them. And ego and pride. If you really want to, you will win with your dad because you love him. And I will with my son because I love him too and he loves me. I think your wife will win with you as well. She's already got the best of you! I can see how much she loves you because it shows all over you. Just keep in mind (as I need to also) that they come from somewhere also. You have to love your dad within his capacity. And you have the tools to do that. Accept him the way you want to be accepted and love him unconditionally. Honor him the way you want your son to honor you. Not to judge and not in a way that he isn't capable. You know him so well by now that you should be able to discern his capacity. Forgive him his sins as you wish to be forgiven. His intentions are either good or bad. If they are bad then I don't think you would waste time with him. Unfortunately, people from all walks of life procreate. If his intentions are good, then learn from him what he has to offer you and give him grace. He may not be able to love or communicate within the confines of your definition of what ever it is you think you need. You know? But give him the opportunity to love you in his way and pay really close attention to his intent. I bet he has a lot to offer. And pay attention to your perception. Always. Honoring someone doesn't mean agreeing with them. Accept love gracefully and return it in this way. But learn to accept it first. :-P

I miss my son so very, very much. It's like someone stole him or he's missing. It breaks my heart. Time is a super precious commodity that everyone seems to take for granted. But, this is a season and it will pass, as they all do. I pray for a great result. Many times, from strife, comes an amazing blessing. I think about him every day. This conversation with you and Jos (wherever he is these days... hopefully business is good!) helps me to get my bearings, put my feelings and thoughts in check and look beyond MY perception, as wells as, take the insight you provide and broaden my thinking and options. Very good stuff. I hope that by the time I do speak to my son I will be better equipped and come from a place of love and understanding. Isn't that what parents are supposed to do? I am frustrated, huge!! Not only from this situation but the fact that there are only three of us discussing Daniel Barron's madness. I know damn good and well there are LOTS of people in our shoes. I think this forum is hard to find and even harder to navigate for a lot of folks. Is www.justsaynotodanielbarron.com available? Or www.ebeisacult.com? I agree with you that I do not want to split my focus on regaining my relationship with my son, but I am pretty tenacious, determined, and multifaceted, and would welcome the opportunity to enlighten some people who are considering being enlightened! (?????)

It is late. I, like Jos, have a business to run. I am one of the only female licensed general contractors in the state of Oregon and stuff doesn't build itself. (How's that for diverse? LOL) I don't know how to find a profile with your email and I don't get the Gaia site. Give me a break, I am old :) Well,... that's relative. Anyway, please advise. Thanks Eric. So much. For everything. You're a gift to this world. I would love to be able to speak with some of the people you suggest.

Peace and Love,
Melissa

PS Eric,
Daniel Barron is not beyond you... he has a bigger vocabulary and confidence.

I am very sorry, that I can’t comment in full to the discussion. I have a lot of work these days and have to do that first. I also will be away till the half of November. I hope I will then be able to comment in full again. For now I only can say to you Eric: I admire your openness and showing your vulnerability. For me, you are on the right track.

To Melissa: you are so angry that it poisons your clarity. It affects also your ability to go with this situation. The next sentence will be hard for you: When I hear your writing, I understand that your son will do something like EBE, because he will need it to get out off what he has unconscious learned.

To all: I lately have had several conversations with ex-EBE people. They all told me the same thing: the best thing of EBE was getting out of EBE and leaving Daniel Barron and his organization.
I also learned from them Daniel Barron is a fraud even more then I thought.
He has stolen his whole theorem from others, including the idea to name EBE EBE. He doesn’t name his sources, while then his whole theorem is public and falls under no (copy or other intellectual) right at all.
He knows that, and because of that he will in due time close up everything more and more till it will be only available to an intellectual and emotional disabled that falls in his traps. By that time the whole of Barron, his organization, theorem, etc. will be down the drain.

For everyone in willing to understand his or her own self: look for alternatives like EBE. EBA is one of them. There are a lot more. Do some real investigations on the net and you will find them. Don’t go into any kind of school or theorem without proving miscellaneous schools or theorems. And keep on listening to your self. On every encounter with a school or theorem you instantly know if it is the right thing for you. Listen to it and don’t fool yourself because of your childish needs and impatience wanting to be seen and happy right now. You are too precious to give your self, and that what you might be, into the hands of fanatics like Barron. When you are serious in knowing and understanding your self and birth right, then understand that you have a whole life and time to learn what it is and might be to be what and whom you are. Take your time. It is the only real thing you have. Don’t kill or waste it.

To Daniel Barron: Daniel, you may be highly intelligent or think you are, but you are in real a fool because of what you do with your idea of EBE. You do not walk the way you talk, that is, you are not doing your own EBE in full.
You are an abused child. Your parental family is criminal and because your imprints comes thereof you are doing now a criminal thing with your organization and theorem. You are stealing the ideas of others and do as if they are yours like your family does with the goods they steal, etc. Even your so-called Zen experiences you have stolen from others. You have never been in a real Zen school, never awakened, etc. You are a liar to your people and to yourself.
It is clear to me that you want all this things, being a loving person, being awakened, being intelligent, being free from your childhood wounding und upbringing, etc. We all want such things, but at least I don’t want it for the price you want your people to pay to you.
You are selling your soul to the devil you are frightening and think, hope, you can save it that way.
Your theorem that one can become awakened by doing EBE is a lie you know yourself the best. None of your so-called people will ever become awakened because of it, because you are hiding the lie you are wearing in your own self: you hate everyone.
Yes, you are charismatic, so was Hitler too. Like Hitler you claim all people have to admire and love you because you have suffered so much and if they don’t do, you will kill them all the moment you are able to do so, like Hitler did.
You have a real enneagram four fixation like Hitler had and the more you are doing the things you are doing, the more you will behave like him. Your people are doing already so. They are excluding people from the possible benefits of EBE, because you tell them that such and so person is not worth it, or don’t agree with all you do, say and claim, or cannot cope with your tough love concept. What tough love? Love is not tough, never has been, never will be. You don’t know anything about love, except you miss it all the time and are crying out loud you ought to have it.
You are a shame to yourself, to your self, and to every spiritual thing you claim is possible. And that’s a great pity.
If you would really do your own theorem, you could be the help you claim you are. Because you don’t do it, you will mash it up more and more and create a spiritual “Dritte Reich” with the whole holocaust and war like Hitler did.
Stop it.
Come to your senses.
You can.

Jos

Hello Melissa, Eric, and Jos (and everyone else who is following this thread),

Jos: I'm happy that you have brought up the point of how Daniel has stolen things that make up the structure of 'his' paradigm. Here is an amazing fact: It was Lela (a former EBE facilitator and current friend of mine) and I who did a brainstorming session to think of a different name from ESH (the name that Daniel used for years) that she and I could use to do our own version of this work (at the time she was not in good standing with Daniel). We came up with two names: Emotional Body Enlightenment (EBE) and Emotional Body Awakening (EBA). Lela mentioned the new names to people within Esh after she was back 'in' (including Daniel, I believe). Within a very short period of time after this session, I heard word of Daniel deciding to change the name from ESH to EBE and then, very quickly, it was all up on his website with full copy write laws protecting this name that he thought of (yea right). That was a mind blower for me and added yet another flag to the accumulating red flags that I had about Daniel (and therefor eBE). And never once did I (nor Lela) get any acknowledgment about the name. Also, with a bit of research, one can find strikingly similar versions of virtually everything within 'his' paradigm, from the EBE work itself, to the archetypes, to the Angels. All of this would be fine if it weren't spun in such a way that claims that it was 'downloaded' by him from God and, further, if it weren't spun together in such a way as to support 'his greatness' and also his 'ownership' of the paradigm. It's no wonder that so much drama and conflict happen as people rise to power within 'his' organization. If they haven't been softened up enough in the process, he hammers them into submission when necessary, all in the name of 'tough love' and while claiming to be helping them 'take their next step' in their process. Well, how compassionate of him. (I will later share an email that he wrote to me when I mentioned that I wanted to take a break from EBE and the intern class).

Melissa: When I read your posts about your predicament with your son and his heavily influenced 'decision' to break off contact with you (for his own growth [sarcasm]), my heart first feels such sadness about this and then a deep rage. As part of being a facilitator in training, I was required to do this with my mother. At first my facilitator (Gloria), asked that I do 'maybe 3 months'. After 3 1/2 months, I ended the 'demed' with her, and while speaking about it in my intern class group, I happened to use the word 'mom' in reference to my mother, instead of the EBE accepted 'mother' when referencing one's mother. When I called her 'mom', Gloria (Ria at the time) stopped me and said that Daniel had instructed her to tell me that if I used the term 'mom', instead of 'mother', when referencing my mother, that I would need to do at least 6 more months of 'demed' (no contact at all) in order to stay in the intern class. This is classic manipulation tactics, yet, masterfully woven together to look like it is for your own good. Keep in mind that being in the intern class is elite status in EBE, so when this is being threatened to be taken away, it can be very persuasive indeed. Everybody in my intern class had, at one time or another, been threatened in this way. The threat is covered up in a dressing that has you believing that this is done with such love for me and is helping me take my next step in my process (this is because the people who do this actually believe it, which is how this is so intricately woven together). The beautiful people who are doing this work are slowly but surely so indoctrinated into the Daniel belief systems, that they are doing what they believe with their hearts is right and good. What Jos said in his last post about ex- EBE people saying that the best thing about EBE is when you leave it is completely true for me as well. And I will mention to you that my relationship with my mother is better than it ever has been and I do partly thank ebe for this. However, I am so thankful that I got out when I did. It would have been such a tragedy to have had it go the way that Daniel energizes and encourages it to go and thereby permanently damaging my relationship with her. My relationship with her has been so rich over the past months since I left EBE. I feel very lucky. I am now in a relationship with a woman who loves my mom and my family and values family-such a healing for me. The tide has changed for sure and I feel free and alive, able to draw on and trust all that I have been gifted with in my life-including ALL that I've discovered, realized,(( and learned (including EBE). My heart goes out to you and I wish you all the best in this process with your son. I would be happy to speak with you if you'd like. Be well. I really feel for you.

Eric: When i read your posts, I am struck by your depths of honesty, your willingness to see difficult things about your self, and your great insights. You really are a gift. I have to say also, that I feel that you are being overly hard on yourself at times and that you seem to take on others' ideas (based on the lense that they are seeing life through) and that you then apply these to yourself as if that is the truth. Some of your apologies (as beautiful and heartfelt as they were) to the people in EBE seemed to carry this energy. I know you are insightful enough to see this yourself but I thought that I'd mention it anyway because you mean a lot to me and I don't want to see you suffer unnecessarily. Be well my friend.

Love,

Rob (aka Nagesh)