Re: residual affects after a cult escape
Posted by:
freedom fighter
()
Date: November 12, 2007 09:50AM
Hi Deelly,
I want to say hello and welcome. I really feel better after writing this topic and seeing all the different comments and stories of individuals. Really makes me feel like I'm not alone in the alien feeling. I too felt like there was always something wrong with me. I even knew it was a cult at the time of leaving around 14 years ago.
It's true about the blank canvas. I'm realizing that this abuse I received was not my fault and that I shouldn't have to suffer for life. The abuse is not my identity. Who I am has not a thing to do with the cult. The only thing I should retain from the experience is the wisdom it has given me. Wisdom to make decisions with free will and the freedom to learn from my own decisions.
These cult leaders have an ability to really make you think you're nuts. Doubt settles in a lot. But I'm learning. Maybe it's not so bad being wierd and eccentric. Who gives a hoot anyway. When your heart is their and you live for yourself and for loved ones and want the best for your life and theirs, that's all that matters. Things are getting better for me. I've got some hope.
Freedom fighter
I want to say hello and welcome. I really feel better after writing this topic and seeing all the different comments and stories of individuals. Really makes me feel like I'm not alone in the alien feeling. I too felt like there was always something wrong with me. I even knew it was a cult at the time of leaving around 14 years ago.
It's true about the blank canvas. I'm realizing that this abuse I received was not my fault and that I shouldn't have to suffer for life. The abuse is not my identity. Who I am has not a thing to do with the cult. The only thing I should retain from the experience is the wisdom it has given me. Wisdom to make decisions with free will and the freedom to learn from my own decisions.
These cult leaders have an ability to really make you think you're nuts. Doubt settles in a lot. But I'm learning. Maybe it's not so bad being wierd and eccentric. Who gives a hoot anyway. When your heart is their and you live for yourself and for loved ones and want the best for your life and theirs, that's all that matters. Things are getting better for me. I've got some hope.
Freedom fighter
It is amazing how much children clue in
Posted by:
corboy
()
Date: November 13, 2007 01:30AM
"These cult leaders have an ability to really make you think you're nuts. Doubt settles in a lot. But I'm learning. Maybe it's not so bad being wierd and eccentric. Who gives a hoot anyway. "
It is amazing how much children clue in--even when the factual truth is with-held from us.
A couple of weeks ago, I attended a presentation by a pair of identical twin sisters.
Their mother gave them up for adoption. Instead of being kept together and adopted as twins to one family, the prestigious agency split the two babies and assigned them to two different families.
Neither the families nor the children were told 'you have a sister and a twin sister.' Again, neither girl nor their adoptive families knew this.
All along, both girls knew they were adopted kids, had no trouble with that at all, but didnt know they were twinned. They were lied to, their families were lied to.
This was done as part an early and utterly unethical study on twin separation--and quite a few other agencies had refused participation.
I mention this because one of the sisters told us that in her twenties, she had this haunting conviction, seemingly from no where that she had an identical twin!
This nagging feeling led her, at age 35 to search public records and eventually uncovered the whole thing. Meanwhile, her other sister had shown no interest in researching the matter and it came as a suprise when the agency informed her she had a twin sister.
I say all this because no matter how much information is with-held, some children seem astoundingly sensitive and can, perhaps by awareness of non verbal cues, pick things up, no matter how adults try to keep an embargo on the truth.
Until you get the validating information, you can be easily conned into thinking you are crazy, when you may simply have a talent for reading nonverbal cues, an area that medical science is only just beginning, tentatively, to map. (see the work done by Paul Ekman)
It is amazing how much children clue in--even when the factual truth is with-held from us.
A couple of weeks ago, I attended a presentation by a pair of identical twin sisters.
Their mother gave them up for adoption. Instead of being kept together and adopted as twins to one family, the prestigious agency split the two babies and assigned them to two different families.
Neither the families nor the children were told 'you have a sister and a twin sister.' Again, neither girl nor their adoptive families knew this.
All along, both girls knew they were adopted kids, had no trouble with that at all, but didnt know they were twinned. They were lied to, their families were lied to.
This was done as part an early and utterly unethical study on twin separation--and quite a few other agencies had refused participation.
I mention this because one of the sisters told us that in her twenties, she had this haunting conviction, seemingly from no where that she had an identical twin!
This nagging feeling led her, at age 35 to search public records and eventually uncovered the whole thing. Meanwhile, her other sister had shown no interest in researching the matter and it came as a suprise when the agency informed her she had a twin sister.
I say all this because no matter how much information is with-held, some children seem astoundingly sensitive and can, perhaps by awareness of non verbal cues, pick things up, no matter how adults try to keep an embargo on the truth.
Until you get the validating information, you can be easily conned into thinking you are crazy, when you may simply have a talent for reading nonverbal cues, an area that medical science is only just beginning, tentatively, to map. (see the work done by Paul Ekman)
Re: residual affects after a cult escape
Posted by:
deellymg
()
Date: November 14, 2007 02:41AM
Thank you for your warm welcome... I was having a panic attack and your post was just what I needed...
Why was I having the panic attack? Well, cause I got into an online argument with a member of my cult. I don't think I've ever done that. Ever. I think deep inside I'm afraid they're going to argue me down and prove me wrong... It sounds stupid I know. Intellectually I KNOW. Emotions and reactions are another thing all together.
I literally started shaking and had to call my husband to calm me down. I hate it that I still have such a strong reaction. It's crazy. I never really have confronted any of them. I haven't read the literature since I left for fear that I will get sucked back in.
Anyway, thank you for your welcome...
deelly
People who claim that they're evil are usually no worse than the rest of us,
it's people who claim that they're good, or anyway better than the rest of us,
that you have to be wary of.
~ Boq the Munchinlander from Wicked,
The Life and Times of Wicked Witch of the West
by Gregory Maguire
Why was I having the panic attack? Well, cause I got into an online argument with a member of my cult. I don't think I've ever done that. Ever. I think deep inside I'm afraid they're going to argue me down and prove me wrong... It sounds stupid I know. Intellectually I KNOW. Emotions and reactions are another thing all together.
I literally started shaking and had to call my husband to calm me down. I hate it that I still have such a strong reaction. It's crazy. I never really have confronted any of them. I haven't read the literature since I left for fear that I will get sucked back in.
Anyway, thank you for your welcome...
deelly
People who claim that they're evil are usually no worse than the rest of us,
it's people who claim that they're good, or anyway better than the rest of us,
that you have to be wary of.
~ Boq the Munchinlander from Wicked,
The Life and Times of Wicked Witch of the West
by Gregory Maguire
Re: It is amazing how much children clue in
Posted by:
deellymg
()
Date: November 14, 2007 02:43AM
Corboy wrote:
Will it amaze you to know that I started seeing through them at the age of 8? I started asking questions and was told to hush and pay attention. The questions gnawed at me even if I was asked to be quiet. I can pinpoint it as the beginning on my incredulity. Children are much more perceptive than adults ever give them credit for.
deelly
People who claim that they're evil are usually no worse than the rest of us,
it's people who claim that they're good, or anyway better than the rest of us,
that you have to be wary of.
~ Boq the Munchinlander from Wicked,
The Life and Times of Wicked Witch of the West
by Gregory Maguire
Quote
It is amazing how much children clue in--even when the factual truth is with-held from us.
Will it amaze you to know that I started seeing through them at the age of 8? I started asking questions and was told to hush and pay attention. The questions gnawed at me even if I was asked to be quiet. I can pinpoint it as the beginning on my incredulity. Children are much more perceptive than adults ever give them credit for.
deelly
People who claim that they're evil are usually no worse than the rest of us,
it's people who claim that they're good, or anyway better than the rest of us,
that you have to be wary of.
~ Boq the Munchinlander from Wicked,
The Life and Times of Wicked Witch of the West
by Gregory Maguire
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