PRETTYboy:


Well, you might want to cut yourself some slack--you can't bring everyone home with you. What you did do was far more than the 'average Joe.'

Being sensitive to being 'led' is what we are trying to recapture after simply being 'told' what to do during our time in TLW.

I recently recalled a time I was volunteering working on ¨G and M´s¨ luxury home on Oahu in Hawaii. It was a hot summer day, and I didn´t bring any sunscreen.

I had the nerve to ask for some. After all, I was working for free. Instead of them helping me, they called for their ¨handler¨ at the time to help me. He was quite flustered that I didn´t ask him first and chewed me out, telling me to follow ¨divine order¨.

It was a good light-bulb moment for me. After that I said "F%$K this" haha.

Another light-bulb moment occurred when I watched the Netflix documentary "Holy Hell". I would highly suggest it to people in this group that are fascinated by the social intricacies of "cultish groups".

Yep. “Holy Hell” is excellent. Their leader reminds me of a gay Rick Holbrook. : )

tlrf,

did you get the PM ok?


pobHg

Aleutian Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I recently recalled a time I was volunteering
> working on ¨G and M´s¨ luxury home on Oahu in
> Hawaii. It was a hot summer day, and I didn´t
> bring any sunscreen.
>
> I had the nerve to ask for some. After all, I was
> working for free. Instead of them helping me, they
> called for their ¨handler¨ at the time to help me.
> He was quite flustered that I didn´t ask him first
> and chewed me out, telling me to follow ¨divine
> order.

As far as I know, Gary never asked directly for volunteers to work on his homes. How were you roped into this? I worked on his home on Kling street, and the rental next door and his first home once he moved to the L.A. area. And then, of course, various 'Kingdom' facilities over a 20-year period. It was always an intermediary who told me my services were needed...with the underlying message that it was part of the 'upward flow,' and a privilege to be asked/told. Now we know they were living the high life while the rank and file were struggling to get by and often being rebuked for not being dedicated enough. No amount of PR will wash away the stench of their hypocrisy. I continue to appreciate this forum for allowing the truth of the ways things were/are to be fully exposed.
Good to hear from you, Aleutian.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/11/2019 06:46AM by changedagain.

I have been reading this forum for several years and am finally making my first post. I was in TLWF for 22 years. It's been 20 years since I left and I still have a difficult time explaining this experience to anyone. Like so many on this forum, my family and I gave everything to TLWF. We attended services 3 times/ week, mustered out for Saturday work days, assisted APCO on numerous "kingdom" projects, made dozens and dozens of trips to Shiloh and gave of our finances. We had no time left for anything and were working the equivalent of two full time jobs. I still struggle with why I believed God was in this and that the leaders had integrity. It makes me question my own intelligence and sanity.

I struggle with why I stayed so long. Why did I waste that part of my life and sacrifice family and personal relationships to remain in TLWF. I was never comfortable with the rock star treatment enjoyed by JRS, Gary and Marilyn and the control and authority the church exerted over it's members. Eventually we did get burned out and left. We were also fed up with being used by APCO.

What freedom after leaving! It felt like a weight was lifted off our shoulders. We moved into a different city and started a new life. And eventually I stopped worrying about the lightening bolt that was going to hit us. However we had trouble finding a new church since nothing seemed to fit our expectations. The problem was us.

I was an atheist as a teenager and was looking for meaning in my life. I thought I found it in TLWF. I was one of the elite who was bringing in the kingdom. Now I needed to be deprogrammed. After we left, I had to start over and reevaluate what I thought about God, Christianity and organized religion. I reexamined everything from the ground up starting with arguments for the existence of God. I studied apologetics and started reading my bible. Jesus Christ is now the center of my life - not JRS, Gary or Marilyn.

Thanks for the posts made in this forum and the insight you all have provided. Hearing about what went on behind the curtain was especially helpful. It confirms what I suspected for a long time. I'm sure your postings haven't always been easy but I'm grateful for your honesty, candor and wit. I'm especially grateful for the courage of those like Shalom who have stepped forward and have shown a bright light in a dark place. God bless you all.

Reachingforward Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I have been reading this forum for several years
> and am finally making my first post. I was in
> TLWF for 22 years. It's been 20 years since I
> left and I still have a difficult time explaining
> this experience to anyone. Like so many on this
> forum, my family and I gave everything to TLWF.
> We attended services 3 times/ week, mustered out
> for Saturday work days, assisted APCO on numerous
> "kingdom" projects, made dozens and dozens of
> trips to Shiloh and gave of our finances. We had
> no time left for anything and were working the
> equivalent of two full time jobs. I still
> struggle with why I believed God was in this and
> that the leaders had integrity. It makes me
> question my own intelligence and sanity.
>
> I struggle with why I stayed so long. Why did I
> waste that part of my life and sacrifice family
> and personal relationships to remain in TLWF. I
> was never comfortable with the rock star treatment
> enjoyed by JRS, Gary and Marilyn and the control
> and authority the church exerted over it's
> members. Eventually we did get burned out and
> left. We were also fed up with being used by
> APCO.
>
> What freedom after leaving! It felt like a weight
> was lifted off our shoulders. We moved into a
> different city and started a new life. And
> eventually I stopped worrying about the lightening
> bolt that was going to hit us. However we had
> trouble finding a new church since nothing seemed
> to fit our expectations. The problem was us.
>
> I was an atheist as a teenager and was looking for
> meaning in my life. I thought I found it in
> TLWF. I was one of the elite who was bringing in
> the kingdom. Now I needed to be deprogrammed.
> After we left, I had to start over and reevaluate
> what I thought about God, Christianity and
> organized religion. I reexamined everything from
> the ground up starting with arguments for the
> existence of God. I studied apologetics and
> started reading my bible. Jesus Christ is now
> the center of my life - not JRS, Gary or Marilyn.
>
> Thanks for the posts made in this forum and the
> insight you all have provided. Hearing about what
> went on behind the curtain was especially helpful.
> It confirms what I suspected for a long time. I'm
> sure your postings haven't always been easy but
> I'm grateful for your honesty, candor and wit.
> I'm especially grateful for the courage of those
> like Shalom who have stepped forward and have
> shown a bright light in a dark place. God bless
> you all.

Welcome Reaching Forward! I, like yourself, read this site for years (we left 36 yrs ago!) before actually coming forward to post. And also like you, Jesus came alive for me through reading the Scriptures. I don't know what to tell you about not finding a church--my hubby & I have tried so many yet nothing seems to stick, or as you point out--it's not them, it's us, lol! God bless you, too!

REACHINGforward:


Welcome to the fray and adding your voice. The tide keeps rising and will soon consume the house-of-cards that this whole charade was built on.

We can each take stock of our 'lost years', but they may come full-circle in the end, when we can stand together rejoicing as it all comes tumbling down.

Welcome ReachingForward.
I appreciate your extremely sane post.
It's easy to question our own sanity with all the calculated propaganda we have been subjected to for so many years. This forum has been invaluable in helping us see things as they are, leading us down a path of healing and freedom. I am not obsessed with people being either negative or positive...it's whether what is being expressed is coming from a genuine place. That said, if organizations exist to enrich a few people at the expense of the rest, my leaning is to have that be exposed, which means there will likely be a lot of negative ("bad spirit") posts. Oh well.

I'm looking back and it wasn't horrible negativity which first attracted me to this. I realized JRS could be quite hilarious at times, with antics and comments that would put the whole congregation into roars of laughter.

If it were maudlin and harsh right out the gate, I doubt I'd have stuck around...