Hello, Cloudwatcher. Thank you for sharing.

I think any of us who have been through something similar can identify with the regret you shared about "why did I not see it? Why didn't I protect my children?"... This is so common and I believe it is the hardest part of recovering as a victim/survivor.

I would submit to you that your story as it is being shared is serving a purpose greater than yourself, and also that you as an individual are not defined by this deceptive ministry... you have your own life and your own future ahead of you, as do each of your children. I am praying you will overcome, forgive and be surrounded by healthy relationships.

Also, the trust you placed in these people, while twisted and abused, is nothing to be ashamed of. Placing trust in others is a beautiful thing and an essential part of being human. It's not fair that this trust was abused. It's inexcusable. But the trust itself was not wrong and does not deserve to be a source shame or self-hatred. Trust innocently given is always beautiful. For many, this is hard to swallow. Coming to this realization was a huge breakthrough in my own recovery.

My heart goes out to you, dear. Much love...

Victoria

Victoria-I appreciate the kind way you have reached out to Cloudwatcher. Many of us have had to fight many ghosts of the cult since leaving. It is perfecting understandable to feel we didn't protect our children...the consequences of the stresses on the parents and result of trying to bear all the lopsided thinking and demands of the leadership.

I recall JRS publically rebuked parents for the way they raised their children. He thought he could do a better job. A few years ago on the message board one of those children, now an adult, recounted that JRS told her father upon leaving the LW that the father told JRS he gave his children to JRS. That is sick. I don't care if that is what JRS believed. That is sickening and Wrong.

I recently had a conversation with someone who has an appreciation of the symbols that the psychoanalyst Jung wrote about. He asked me what is my favorite movie. That was easy. It's always been the Deer Hunter. We discussed the symbols in the movie...such as the strong carrying the weak. That may be why the movie made me feel good. Symbols in movies can be healing. I remember upon leaving the living word, I watched a lot of movies.

Why is it people unquestionably trust men or woman of the cloth? We shouldn't do that. The Catholics forgive the sex abusers in their midst. But the abusers seldom change. And continue to abuse. IMO it's foolish not beautiful to blindly trust. Particularly men or woman of the cloth.

I knew an ex-pat couple who had heavy guilt. After they left. Their child remained. The parents believed there was no salvation. For their child. Who followed the LW false teaching. So they worked two jobs. To save money for an intervention. And pay a deprogrammer. They were able to save their child from the clutches of the LW. Not everyone has been able. To save their children. In some instances their parents. From the clutches of the LW.

I once read some Jung, "Sometimes the divine asks too much of us."

When I left the LW I went back to the world. Not sex drugs and rock and role. But things that were more secular. So the idea of the symbols in some movies providing healing is good. I think Groundhog Day and Ordinary People. On some level were healing. Some people say when depressed. They watch comedies.

The redemptive symbolism in Groundhog Day is genius. Anyone who feels the LW cult was a curse on your life and you are going to live that stuff every day until you day should watch it.

lily rose Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The redemptive symbolism in Groundhog Day is
> genius. Anyone who feels the LW cult was a curse
> on your life and you are going to live that stuff
> every day until you day should watch it.


I think you meant "live that stuff every day until you die"(not day). I've felt that way. I like the movie Ordinary People. Identified with Conrad. He kept all his emotions and anger bottled up. Like I did while in the LW. His psychiatrist helps him open up. I've only started to open up. Conrad's mom, Beth, reminds me of Marilyn. Beth can't forgive Conrad. For accident that killed her other son. This is damaging to Conrad. Marilyn couldn't forgive either. She blamed the congregation for John's death. That was damaging to the people. Beth's bitterness and coldness remind of Marilyn's behavior. I don't know how to explain. Why this movie is healing to me. It just is.

This is my take on Ordinary People and why it may be healing for LW cult survivors. Conrad's PTSD and depression had its roots in Beth's abusive and cold narcissism and only caring about having the appearance of the perfect family. Conrad is her scapegoat as was the congregation to M. I think the movie is healing because eventually the father becomes aware of Beth's evil narcissism and the abuse she inflicts on Conrad and her inability to love anyone but herself. So Beth leaves them and they are better off for it. You are left with impression that the father has insight and he doesn't live in the past and that he and Conrad will now be okay.

In bereavement there is a rebuild self model where one develops personal strength and insight. Beth and M were incapable of change, or develop personal strength or insights as part of their bereavement.

Yes, M is dead. But the blame and shame M put on the congregation for JRS's death was ignorant and wrong. I know there are expats as well as those still in the cult who still adhere to that thinking and maybe they could benefit from therapy or just hearing the truth. JRS died of cancer.

Thank you, lily.

A FINAL WORD ON CRAZY WISDOM from one of cult links Corboy posted.

Many of us who have left the community have often discussed among ourselves our complicity in the execution of acts of outrageous integrity that essentially amounted to abuse, and whether we witnessed these abuses firsthand or from a distance, we have often expressed regret over our failure to intervene or to acknowledge our part in the harm they brought to so many individuals.

HEADBANGER NEWS: TIME TO PUT A SOCK IN IT!

Travail That Brings A Greater Answer OR NOT

July 23, 2017 — by Gary Hargrave


This morning I brought a message titled “Travail That Brings A Greater Answer” at Grace Chapel in Rockville, Maryland.


The Word of the Lord over this church BY A SICK AND DELUSIONAL WANNA BE APOSTLE as prophets to our nation has been delayed for many years, THANK GOD and it would be easy to give up or feel that the Lord doesn’t care. OR THAT WAS NEVER GOD'S PLAN FOR US. But the truth is, God is drawing a deep travail out of this people, WHO CAN'T TAKE THE SHEEP BEATING ANYMORE and this depth of intercession is not created overnight. IT TAKES YEARS OF SHEEP BEATING. When this cry of intercession reaches the depth He wants, the Word will be manifested. SINCE WHEN. We refresh the Words over Grace Chapel and turn loose this intercession of travail.


kBoy: Are you back from your vacation yet? You are missed.

Building Oneness – A Chronicle Of My Recent Travels (Or, It's all about ME)

July 31, 2017 — Monday — by Gary Hargrave

[www.garyandmarilynhargrave.com]

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I attended many services, meetings, and events . . .
I met with leaders . . .
I participated in a special service at Church of the Living Word . . .
I felt honored to speak to both of these congregations . . .
I also celebrated the Feast of Passover with Church of the Living Word . .
I traveled from L.A. to Israel, then to Rome, and then back to Israel . .
I met with Sam Grundwerg, Israel’s Consul General . . .
I prepared for our annual School of Prophets . . .
I felt very blessed to seek God together . . .
I delivered the commencement address . . .
I met with the overseers of The Living Word Fellowship . . .
I went to Washington, D.C. . . .
I covet your prayers for the next steps . . .

I, I, I, I, I, I . . . YIKES



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/01/2017 04:36PM by kBOY.