Good posts from cultfree during the months leading up to Shalom's letters heard 'round the world. I remember when, about ten years prior, there was a lot of fur flying regarding Rick's impending third divorce and soon, his fourth marriage. It was getting to be beyond ridiculous in a very unfunny way. Everyone was called to a special service. Apostolic company members were lined up along the front of the Valley church below the platform. One after another, they came up to speak up for Rick Holbrook. Their words of wisdom consisted of the directive not to gossip. They might as well have added "Or else!" By then, I was barely involved in the church. I believe that was my very last service.

Their words of wisdom consisted of the directive not to gossip.

Someone 'gossiping:' "Hey, I heard Rick has been screwing around again, and there will probably be a 'special service' warning us not to gossip. When the hell are they going to do something about him, and leave us out of it?"

#BanSpecialServices

Changed wrote:

Someone 'gossiping:' "Hey, I heard Rick has been screwing around again, and there will probably be a 'special service' warning us not to gossip. When the hell are they going to do something about him, and leave us out of it?"

#BanSpecialServices

Aren't the shepherds and apostolic ministries told to protect the sheep from the wolves? Or are they supposed tie the sheep's mouth shut so that it can't cry for help? Asking for a friend.

Your 'friend' sounds wise.

I share this post by Sierra periodically. Some things bear repeating...and repeating.

Posted by: sierradawn
Date: October 09, 2013 03:00PM

Hello all,

Unfortunately due to the permanent loss of previous posts by many including all of mine and at the request of a fellow poster, I am reposting my story to continue to help others who are on the fence about whether to leave this cult known as The Living Word. If you're NOT on the fence and are curious about how such a "wonderful" church could be labeled as a cult, read on.

I was born into "The Walk" in 1976 shortly after my mother, Ann Huisman, joined this church. I grew up going to church at least 3-4 times per week. I didn't have too much of a life outside of church. Even though it was pretty much all I knew about God and religion and didn't have any other reference point, I still remember thinking how odd some things we did as a church were. Like wearing pin badges that year when it was "SHE who must be obeyed!" and participating in an auction to be able to win the privilege of talking to Gary and Marilyn as a church over the speakerphone. Good God, really??? I even bid on my parents' behalf. Barf.

By high school I was naturally becoming more independent and when a family (whose kids I was close with) chose to leave the church, I started to question the church more. I even fought with my parents about my not wanting to go on Sundays anymore because I felt like they were putting G&M on a pedestal.

Fortunately my budding career as a model right after high school graduation took me overseas and was really able to live life on my own. My love for God never stopped though, and to this day still have my faith, just not to the church. At 26 years old, after I had moved to California to take a break from modeling, I took my then-boyfriend-now-husband to a Feast service. He was so enraged by how the worship service was being conducted (the intense focus on the worship leader and making people look at each other while singing to the "Christ" in each other, remember that y'all?) that he up and walked out of the service and wished God would burn the church to the ground. I went after him that day and that was the last time I ever attended a service as a member.

I rededicated my life to Jesus shortly after that (I never really did that before since I was "born" into it and it's not something the church does - altar calls). Even still, I hesitated to call that church a cult. Why? Because as twisted as it is, there were some elements of Godly truth and as you all know, there are some amazing, loving people in that church.

It took the passing of my mother, Ann Huisman, this year in June to fully and completely sever my spiritual and emotional ties to this church. My Dad (technically stepdad since I was 4 years old) also passed on four years ago. Both of my parents had cancer. Why did I feel like I could finally sever myself that way? Shortly after my Mom had passed, I had found out that during her last year in San Diego (where my parents were living and going to church at the time) Bruce and Gilee Larson gave an order to members of the church to stop relating to her. That means she got no rides to the ER when she needed it and she was newly diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer with no support. WHY? Because my mom finally decided to live life more on her terms. That meant she made certain decisions for herself rather than just doing what Bruce and Gilee wanted her to do. They were her Designated Relationships along with a few others, by the way. I'll let the following letter I wrote to Bruce and Gilee speaks for itself:

Bruce and Gilee,

I need to get this off my chest. I hope you will be willing to read this letter in its entirety.

I am deeply hurt and betrayed by both of you for the cruel treatment of my mother during her last year in San Diego. How dare you cut people off from relating to her and being with her when she most needed it? People wouldn't even give her a ride to the ER when she needed it. There is ABSOLUTELY no excuse for it. You really thought that was best for everyone's spiritual welfare? How wrong you were. Even Jesus ate with people who were considered unworthy.

I am utterly floored, appalled by your ugly directives against her, and I don't care how much you disagreed with her choices. Those were her choices, my goodness she was a grown woman. Her decision to leave San Diego was the best thing she ever did for herself and I never saw her so FREE and happy and she grew closer to God like never before because people like you weren't in the way of it anymore.

I've read all the emails between you and her that she saved on her email account. That she would have to ASK you about visiting me and her family and then ask whether she "needs" to make it back down to church on Sunday, in which you reply that yes, she should visit but she should come back down for church if she could? She had to "SUBMIT" moving to Laguna Beach shortly after my Dad passed, in which you and XXXXX told her to hold off on making that decision. How furious I am. THAT is hardly a decision worth thinking twice about. You robbed me of the help from her and closeness I could have gotten with her when my son was born. You robbed her of being near family after losing her husband of over 25 years. Of course she could have just done so, but you didn't support her in that, so unfortunately she stay put. She was MISERABLE. No wonder she got cancer.

It sickens me how the church treats grown adults like little children, that you act like mommy and daddy and make them feel like they can't make any decisions without your approval. This is a cult to the highest degree. Marilyn is not God, yet all of you treat her as so. You guys have been corrupted by the thirst for power and using the name of God to do these things. You may use fancy terms like mentorship, designated relationships, etc. but it is extremely unhealthy and that practice in the church has got to end. My mother felt she couldn't make decisions on her own. That is spiritual abuse, dxxn it. All these years of her being involved destroyed that decision-making ability and then some. I'm embarrassed for my Mom when I read her emails to you, pouring out her soul, looking for validation, approval and direction. That is what the church reduced her to. I'm glad she got out when she did, so she could experience life in freedom, if only for a short while.

I firmly believe that part of her illness is from the stress that you guys inflicted upon her. I don't blame you for her death, but it certainly didn't help that you BETRAYED her. You may say you loved Ann, but that "love" was obviously conditional. I realize this wasn't your intention, but should serve to show you the TOXICITY of the way the church is being operated, especially in San Diego.

I just pray that you guys wake up to the cruelty you're involved with, get out of the church and start living life free from Gary and Marilyn. Trust me, you're deceived. I really do hope you guys see what you're doing. You've got to stop messing with people's lives. I am flabbergasted that you would think that "Alienation of Affection" to a member of a church is something Jesus would actually condone. It is EMOTIONAL and SPIRITUAL abuse.

Sierra Sullivan

I haven't heard back from them nor do I expect to. I sent it a couple weeks ago.

Furthermore, as I was going through my mom's things shortly after she passed, I came across a letter that she wrote only a year ago to my Dad (already deceased). It was obviously a letter where she was practicing forgiveness in the spirit. However, there was a heartbreaking paragraph she wrote. I'm sharing this to show just how deeply affected she was by this church. To put this into context, my Dad, during the last month of his life told my Mom not to "blow out" of the church after he died. For the last 10 years of their lives together, my Mom was becoming more and more disconnected from the church but stayed with it because my Dad was very much into it, and as a fellow poster said when I posted this before it got lost on this website, she probably stayed in it to hold the family together. It would have torn us apart if she left. Below she talks about what happened after he died:

"Most people were worried about me, not knowing what I was going to do. I stayed as long as I could. But the more I stayed the more I realized it was not in me anymore. I was done. I should have left sooner. I don't think I could have left without an excuse. In my mind I needed something so I created that cancer. It was what I needed to get out."

Gosh, let that sink in for a moment. That she felt SO incapable of just upping and leaving because she felt like it goes to show how effed up that church is. Controlling, manipulative, unsupportive of others' individual needs/wants.

My mother (and my dad) were both very healthy individuals. I truly believe their greatness was diminished by this church. If there is ANY good that came out of their deaths, it is that I was finally able to see TLW for what it is.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/09/2023 08:38AM by changedagain.

Although a regular poster back to the Factnet days, I haven’t posted in a couple of years, even though I continue to follow this site. I was pleased to see things exposed that had gone on for decades and was really hoping for the deception to be broken enough to where people could make an informed decision about their involvement in TLWF. At the point I left TLWF in 1999, I told Marilyn in person that I didn’t know what the truth was, but TLWF was certainly not it. I had witnessed her wrath before and was somewhat surprised when it took the wind out of her sails, and for the first time she seemed small to me – not the ferocious Lamp of Israel. Later I wondered if anyone had ever told her “No”. I had sent letters to APCO in the past about inconsistencies – same stuff as everyone else had observed e.g. the kingdom not dawning in 1979, John’s death etc. – and their response was to set me out of any leadership roles, rather than have any discussion about it.

Anyone who has left TLWF knows the smear campaign that goes on, as well as the loss of decades-old relationships. I amped that up a little by using my real name on posts as well as speaking out against things that I felt were destructive in the group. I met with local pastors after I left who would feign love and then seethe hatred behind my back – especially to my kids, who at that time were still in the fellowship. I think anyone who has ever pushed back on “divine order” has experienced the same thing. They don’t like being told they can’t play God in your life. It is great to be free of all that!

I would like to weigh in on something that I know ahead of time will probably offend 95% of the people reading it – just like old times on the Cult Education site! Just as I felt people were not getting the truth about TLWF, I think they are not getting the truth about Christianity either. I believe the real purpose of TLWF was to destroy Christians and the foundation was never biblical. Christians who exhibit the fruit of the Spirit in their lives are not the problem. John was defrocked for good reason before TLWF ever started. The teaching didn’t just go south after a period of time - it was never healthy. TLWF taught how to have a toxic relationship with God, yourself, and others. As a result, the wounds that people experienced are real, but it was never Jesus doing the wounding. You get good fruit from a good tree and bad fruit from a bad tree – and there was a ton of bad fruit.

After exposure to TLWF only a handful, out of thousands, want anything to do with God, Jesus, the Bible, or other Christians. I sought professional counseling after I left, and the only criteria for me was that they could not be Christian. I still thought TLWF was God, and God was messed up. It took a long time to realize where those thoughts were coming from and that they were not true. Who would have ever thought you could take the greatest provision of blessing ever given to man and turn it into a graveyard? Twisted scriptures have always been a problem and can be especially deadly in the hands of those looking for power and money.

There is only one mediator between God and man – the man Christ Jesus. There’s a good reason Jesus said to call no man teacher – you have one, and it’s the Christ and you are all brothers. It’s the position of teacher over others that causes the problem - not that you teach, but what you teach. The hierarchical structure of “divine order” is heresy. The kingdom structure is that if you want to be great, be the servant of all. The Great Commission was that you would teach the world to obey Jesus’ commands, not some new revelation you came up with. Jesus warned there would be those who would claim to be the Christ and would deceive even the elect. The resulting destruction is easy to see in hindsight. My real concern is the conditioning that has taken place that keeps people from the very thing that would bring them healing.

We all know people who have gone through a nasty divorce that end up thinking everyone of the opposite sex is evil. Spending time with other bitter divorcees doesn’t help make them healthy. At some point, you have to look around for healthy relationships for input, and the best out there have the fruit of the Spirit manifested in both of their lives. There is nothing more devastating than a bad marriage and nothing more life-giving than a good marriage. It’s not just the institution of marriage, but the people in it. The same is true for Christianity. The way we were taught to relate to leadership would scare a healthy pastor away. They want you to walk with God, not them. You would seem creepy and needy. They can’t possibly heal your heart – only God can do that.

I love the teachings of Jesus – they are so life giving! They can heal in a way that restores everything that was lost! All your mistakes can be washed away. TLWF teaching is the thief that comes to kill, steal, and destroy. When John saw “Jesus” and he sought to kill him, it should be a little clue about who that “Jesus” really was. I would encourage anyone, even if you think Jesus never even existed, to take one thing he said in the gospels and put it into action and see what happens. Just pretend it’s a science experiment. He is not a man that he should lie, or so fragile he is not willing to earn your trust after you have been betrayed. There’s no human that can bring restoration, but I know there is a special place in God’s heart for the wounded, especially for those who at one time loved Him. There is more rejoicing over the 1 than the 99. That parable is for real! At first I was angry I had wasted over 30 years of my life. Now I’ve found a provision of healing and a relationship with Him that has made those difficult years so worth it! Especially as a guy, the last thing you want to do is go back and read the directions - and I would read those words yourself without any input from anyone else. There really are answers there that work 100% of the time!

Good to hear from you, Larry. You were instrumental in exposing the malicious hypocrisy of TLWF, and refusing to be silenced when the backlash came. I appreciate that. Glad you're doing well.

Larry wrote:
Anyone who has left TLWF knows the smear campaign that goes on, as well as the loss of decades-old relationships. I amped that up a little by using my real name on posts as well as speaking out against things that I felt were destructive in the group.

True
BTW, sorry for butchering your surname in a post some years ago. Not intentional :)

Posted by: changedagain
Date: October 31, 2018 10:52AM

kBOY Wrote:

> The abusive and retaliatory nature of the
> leadership has made it necessary for many to
> employ pseudonyms in order to mitigate any further
> damage to themselves or other loved ones.

People who follow this forum regularly can probably easily guess the identity of the at least some of the long time posters. I knew right away which contributor is Larry Bono, and it didn't take long for me to identify Mike Jones, the rapper ;}
Who?

Thanks for posting that, Larry Bobo!! I couldn't agree more and am heartbroken by the damage this terrible organization has done to so many people's understanding of truth. Of all the egregious wrongs and harm TLWF has caused (and that is a LOT in both magnitude and variety), the spiritual deception and loss is, in my opinion, the worst. But, I can also personally attest to the fact that there is healing found in the real person of Jesus!

Came across this the other day:

Do you remember what finally motivated you to leave the fellowship?

Well, I was trying my best to navigate the Elijah/Elisha relationship, some days assuming I was Elijah and bossing him around until he sternly reminded me that I was Elisha, not Elijah, and was "supposed to be fucking submissive." Once that got ironed out, things weren't too miserable until Joshua--of all people--decided to get involved, wearing his XL Hawaiian shirt and gold chain. He started bashing Elijah about anything and everything Elijah was doing wrong, who in turn (of course), took it out on me. Somehow I managed to live with this toxicity--barely. The final straw came when Esther and king Ahasuerus intervened, inserting themselves in the middle of our Elijah/Elisha relationship, boasting incessantly about their 'great sex life.' It became so repulsively grating that it finally triggered my decision to leave. Within 24 hours I had packed the car and was speeding on a freeway, heading out of state. I may have been screaming vulgarities while drinking a beer to two at the time--not sure.

Did you leave a note for Elijah, or anyone else?

Yes, in my apartment, in case it got searched. I placed a post-it note on the unplugged fridge that simply said "Elisha has left the state." Also, I warned whomever not to drink the milk in the fridge, since it might be sour.

Thanks so much for responding. I appreciate it.

No problem. Some day I would like to talk to you about how I helped renovate Ezekiel's new home--purely as a love offering. Only if you're up for it, though.

My schedule is tight right now, but I'll definitely keep that in mind!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/19/2023 03:23AM by changedagain.