Haven’t posted for a while but I just finished a book that some might want to take a look at. The title is “Uncultured” by Daniella Mestyanek Young. Daniella was born into the Children of God Cult apparently now called “The Family” and the book chronicles what she went through, how she got out and made a life for herself and career as an army officer and now a successful lecturer and author.

I know this is the TLW forum but there are a lot of parallels here and the book is well written and a good read. People who did time at Shiloh will probably find some similarities.

Happy holidays to everyone.

For those who follow the Let’s Talk About Sects podcast there is an interview with Mastynek Young a couple pods ago. There is also a podcast on TLW a couple seasons back.

Good to hear from you, TheJewel. And thanks for the recommendations.

Your initial post in this forum (I think):

Posted by: TheJewel
Date: January 05, 2016 04:35PM

Hi,

This is my first post here. I have read through all the posts in this thread (a long, long, slog -- but very enlightening).

I was in TLW twice, once from 1970 to 1972 and a second time from 1975 to 1978. All of this was in the San Diego (Coniah Chapel). I actually started "pre-Coniah" in RD Cronquist's garage. I was a close friend of Dave Cokas and came into TLW along with him and a small crowd of people he had with him. I bailed out in '72 a combination of breaking up with a girlfriend and a desire to refocus on an engineering degree (which I did complete eventually).

I rejoined in '75 (with a new girlfriend, this time who I ultimately married at Coniah). Mathew Martinez officiated -- I am curious what happened to him. I left the second time when the intercession (or what my wife referred to as "yelling at God") just got too flippin weird. I remember yelling "WE LOOSE THE APOSTLE" so loud so many times that it should have taken an entire drum of Immodium to tighten him back up. I remember we kept God up really late -- probably ticked him off big time.

It is sad to hear that so many people got messed up in this thing. It was getting freakier by the day around '78. I pulled the plug with no regrets and never looked back. I don't really hold any animosity or bitterness. At the same time, I had no idea that some of the things that are discussed here went on.

Anyway, this is sort of a test post. This is my second try to open an account but it looks like I am in this time. More to come....

I left the second time when the intercession (or what my wife referred to as "yelling at God") just got too flippin weird. I remember yelling "WE LOOSE THE APOSTLE" so loud so many times that it should have taken an entire drum of Immodium to tighten him back up.

I think most of us did the best we could to 'loose' JRS into resurrection life, but apparently it wasn't meant to be. After countless hours devoted to 'loosing' him and 'binding' whatever, we eventually found out that God's real plan was to have JRS bring down Satan with his death. But then, years later, Satan returned again--harassing God's sons and wreaking havoc everywhere. So what was the point of that?
#HisWaysAreMysterious
/s

A few posts from September of 2015:

Posted by: slandjt
Date: September 17, 2015 09:45PM
(excerpt)

I've been reading these posts for a couple of years and thought I would weigh in now. I came into the Walk as an impressionable young teenager in the late 60s. My parents actually came to a service and then told me I couldn't go any more. I was told by the church pastor and elders that I should lie to my parents so I could continue attending services, which I did. The regret I feel many years later is still with me, especially since the Walk also required that I break my bonds with my parents and family. I will always wonder what my relationship with my parents would have been like had I listened to them. Christmas was now "Saturnalia" and I hurt my parents over and over again by being absent from their home on December 25. I spent many years immersed in the Walk, attending services several nights per week, giving "until it hurts," waiting on the Lord, spending money I didn't have on my Living Word tape subscription, School of Prophets books, etc. Now all these years later I'm divorced, even though JRS checked out my marriage and declared "It's a marriage made in heaven." I regret the years wasted when I could have been completing college and establishing a career instead of screaming "death to the channel" in the LA churches. When I left the Walk soon after JRS died, it was as though I'd fallen into a black hole as I waited for judgment to fall on my head. I was, after all, no longer under the covering of the Walk and had disobeyed JRS and God. My brother is still in the Walk, obeying every command from Gary and Marilyn and the "authorities" at his church.

Posted by: changedagain
Date: September 18, 2015 09:11AM

Wonderfully written, slandjt--welcome to the board. I can relate to your experience, as I'm many that read these posts can as well. I dropped out of college (junior year), cut off all ties from my family for close to 20 years, I gave in a myriad of ways to the "Kingdom," my marriage was arranged etc.
Part of the function of this forum, I think, is to allow those who have suffered in the movement to have an outlet and share their experiences without fear of censorship/judgement (unless you get into preaching mode, of course).
BTW, since John's death, TLWF now seems to welcome Christmas--no longer referring to it as Saturnalia, as John used to. The parading of the Christmas truck is one of the big events of the year. Maybe John will return as Santa!

<I moved on from the Walk a long time ago, and although it will always be a part of my life, I now have a much quieter, peaceful life and a much greater understanding of the human condition.>

beautiful

Posted by: larry bobo
Date: September 18, 2015 11:24AM

Welcome slandjt and thanks for posting! It’s interesting to me the common threads that all of us have shared that are categorically denied by TLWF. For example, being told to lie to your parents – the end justifies the means if your shepherds tell you to do it. Instead of the scriptures having the final say, they are ignored if it serves the purposes of the leader. Divorce has been another issue that has been twisted along these lines. God certainly can heal lives that have gone through divorce, but it is not the preferred path to the Kingdom as evidenced in lives of the leadership. Also, the breakup of families when families are outside TLWF, or leave the group. The real tragedy has been the kids. Gary’s refusal to relate to his own daughter from a previous marriage would be a red flag for most people – all the while encouraging members to call him and Marilyn, Dad and Mom. How can you be parents to someone else when you can’t even be a parent to your own kid? It really is a distorted view of family. JRS had the same problem with his daughters. What would it take for one of us to want to prophesy the death of our kids? That’s pretty sick – and John was the founder of the group! By the way, his prophesy never worked - it was all fantasy, not God.

The whole Christmas thing was new every year – depending on which local church you attended and who the current shepherds were. God was constantly changing his mind. One year it was no big deal, and the next you were banned from elders meetings if you had a tree at home. Then there was Rick, who was a complete law unto himself – the truth was always floating and could never really be known. Only those that worked in the Living Word building were free to do whatever they wanted – including trading wives. (Is Rick on number 4 now? The fruit doesn’t fall far from the tree.) At least they were getting John’s word out – perhaps more than they realized speaking of a living word – not just a printed word.

We all remember the many services – 17 per week for me at one time including morning and evening intercession. We were allowed to go to college, but the way it was expressed to me was college or the Kingdom – not both. Now they have Shiloh University. I supposed it’s a way to get a college education without finding out there is life beyond TLWF walls and losing control of members. We all faced the fear of reprisal from “God” by leaving – thinking He was going to destroy us. I guess we should have noticed what happened to Martha after all those many months of “Death to the Nephilim!” She was untouched and John died. If you can get to the point where you are not freaked out at the mention of God, He is so much more wonderful than anything we ever knew in TLWF. It really is spiritual abuse and a difficult thing to work through. “Call no man leader, teacher, father – you have one and it’s the Christ” is a scary place to start, but so worth the effort.

changedagain Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Good to hear from you, TheJewel. And thanks for
> the recommendations.
>
> Your initial post in this forum (I think):
>
> Posted by: TheJewel
> Date: January 05, 2016 04:35PM
>
> Hi,
>
> This is my first post here. I have read through
> all the posts in this thread (a long, long, slog
> -- but very enlightening).
>
> I was in TLW twice, once from 1970 to 1972 and a
> second time from 1975 to 1978. All of this was in
> the San Diego (Coniah Chapel). I actually started
> "pre-Coniah" in RD Cronquist's garage. I was a
> close friend of Dave Cokas and came into TLW along
> with him and a small crowd of people he had with
> him. I bailed out in '72 a combination of breaking
> up with a girlfriend and a desire to refocus on an
> engineering degree (which I did complete
> eventually).
>
> I rejoined in '75 (with a new girlfriend, this
> time who I ultimately married at Coniah). Mathew
> Martinez officiated -- I am curious what happened
> to him. I left the second time when the
> intercession (or what my wife referred to as
> "yelling at God") just got too flippin weird. I
> remember yelling "WE LOOSE THE APOSTLE" so loud so
> many times that it should have taken an entire
> drum of Immodium to tighten him back up. I
> remember we kept God up really late -- probably
> ticked him off big time.
>
> It is sad to hear that so many people got messed
> up in this thing. It was getting freakier by the
> day around '78. I pulled the plug with no regrets
> and never looked back. I don't really hold any
> animosity or bitterness. At the same time, I had
> no idea that some of the things that are discussed
> here went on.
>
> Anyway, this is sort of a test post. This is my
> second try to open an account but it looks like I
> am in this time. More to come....

Wow, Jan 2016. I’ve been lurking for a while. I pulled the plug just before JRS bought the farm so I missed all the Gary and Marylyn shenanigans.

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p.s. Wishing everyone in this forum a Merry Saturnalia!

I was 12 years old when I went to go live with my dad in Hawaii. He was a pastor for the church on Maui. This was in 1977 I think. While in Hawaii I thought that the church was fine, thought it was "different" then anything I had ever been to. The fact that people would leave the church and go out on the steps and smoke or drink right on the steps of the church. I could see the appeal to certain types of people.

In the middle of January of 1978 my Dad (Lawson - Jack Jackson) moved us from Maui to Shiloh in Kalona Iowa. Not only did we not have clothes for that kind of weather, but there was two feet of snow on the ground and thought it was weird we all lived in one dorm room together as a family. They started me in their church school where at 12 years old they wanted to teach me Hebrew. I was totally lost.

We weren't really allowed to go outside and play and I remember both my Dad and my step mother both smoked and drank. We were there a couple of days and I guess my step mother was caught smoking and drinking in the room. They took her away to a mental hospital and basically told me my new job was to take care of my little sister. This was very hard on me. To say they knew how to brainwash kids is an understatement. I think because of what happened with my step mother JRS decided my dad would move us to Grand Junction Colorado. The day we left they threw me into a ring of men who then laid their hands on my head and told me I was still influenced by my grandmother who was evil. They were going to cast the demon out of me. They had me convinced I wanted to stay there while my family moved to Colorado. Thank goodness they knew that my mother in California would not allow that.

So after being there two weeks we upped and moved to Grand Junction Colorado. I loved the public schools in Colorado. I was getting good grades, I played in Band. The Whitewater church headed by Lee and Becky Bailey started a new school that had not been acredited by the school system yet. If you were 12 or 13 you were supposed to get your choice to goto their Kindergarten through 12th grade school or stay in public school. I was not allowed to choose. I was made to goto their school where all I did was babysit younger kids. I wasn't learning anything, I was told I couldn't play with my friend that lived down the street from me anymore and that I could only play with my other friend that was in the church. I never got into any trouble with the friends down the street. But man, if my folks would've known some of the stuff that Debbie I did. Wow they would have been shocked, but it would have been ok cause she was in the church. It never made any sense to me.

It was so sad. For the most part, I was happier living with my Dad than I was living with my mom. However, when christmas came my mom send me a plane ticket to go spend christmas back in california. I asked my dad if I could go back to public school and he said no. So I never went back.

A few years later my Dad moved back to southern california and quit the church because he figured out that he was gay. We know that wouldn't have been allowed in the church. Needless to say I have not been able to be a member in any church at all since then.

I have tried going to church and I just can't do it. Somehow I just don't really think that God is as judgemental as most churches are.

Anyways, that's my story. I do remember people from that time and wonder what happened to them. I hope they got out as well.

Thanks for sharing, katnmouse91265

I have a question are any of these churches still around using JRS teachings and /or Gary and Marilyn? I really just want to know who and what to stay away from. Thanks

Katnmouse91265, sounds likes you weathered many very difficult situations at a young age. I remember Lee and Becky Baily. Were they running the school? Hard to imagine.

Yes, there are still a few areas where former Walk churches are still affiliated with Gary Hargrave and still study JRS teachings. One is in the San Fernando Valley in California. Another small group of what's left from Shiloh, and another in Grant's Pass, Oregon. There are probably others. Not many younger people, though.