Post by 'paleface' from July of 2013:

Re: The Living Word Fellowship, The Walk, John Robert Stevens
Posted by: paleface
Date: July 12, 2013 08:29AM

We were taught to not trust our own thinking. I took that literally for a long time. But that still small voice does not go away and at some point it starting getting louder. I kept getting the feeling deep inside of me that something was wrong in the LW. Then certain things happened and all the sudden, I woke up and listened to that inner voice again. I've come to believe that that inner voice was the Holy Spirit trying to get my attention. At some point I couldn't ignore it any longer and started doing my own research about what has been written regarding the Living Word Fellowship and it's cult-like tendencies. That led to my liberation from that hell. And it was truly a hell here on earth.

Sierra, your post has broken my heart. Thank you for posting that. I liked your parents a lot. They both died before their time. And yes, I'm sure the stress of living inside that toxic church took it's toll on them. I'm glad that your mother got free the last months of her life. The way she was treated by COHK is shameful. Unfortunately, her story isn't unique. Wow, talk about sheep-beaters!

For those of you still trapped in the mind-lock of the Living Word teaching, think about this: God gave you a brain - use it. That inner voice is a gift from God too. Listen to it. Listen to your inner core. You've been taught that it is Satan, maybe you've got it backwards.

Another thought: If I was going to control people and get them to do things for me without questioning me, don't you think I'd tell them to ignore that voice too?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/08/2020 03:44AM by changedagain.

"That inner voice is a gift from God too. Listen to it. Listen to your inner core. You've been taught that it is Satan, maybe you've got it backwards."

Once again, this blatant falsehood affected everyone, in addition to all the other forms of Walk/TLW abuse; scripturally justifying why it is the will of GOD to relinquish our connection with HEAVEN for one fully invested in the world, making the special interests of a few more important than all the rest.

Regaining a sensitivity to, as well as a familiarity with that inner voice, is the most important task for all in the post-TLW era.  There is no better time than to follow that voice through the brave new world in which we find ourselves.

A couple posts from July 2013:

Posted by: Changed4me
Date: July 29, 2013 03:33PM

I kept silent for so long because I was done with organized religion. That true heartfelt non-judgmental acceptance I had experienced early on in The Walk was no longer existent towards anyone like myself that didn't need the affirmation of the "authorities" to exist. At the time in 1997 when I was told I was not welcome, I was devastated because I felt that 25 years of my life just ended abruptly. Here were human beings whom I had counseled, shepherded, took their children into my home when mom and dad were struggling with their relationship, the list goes on. These people I had loved and prayed for refused to speak to me or answer a phone call or answer a letter..... because they were told to cut it off. I hate the fear these people live under.... the fear of being rejected.... the fear of not belonging to a group.

My recent interest in this topic is because I am feeling betrayed by myself for allowing the mind control tactics to have effected me. I am now allowing myself to admit that I was in a cult.

Posted by: paleface
Date: July 29, 2013 06:00PM

Welcome to all of you relatively new, free souls. I'm so thankful for all of you being here and sharing your stories.

I feel like an idiot at times for following something that had red lights blinking constantly. But I figure God had me there for a reason, and maybe that reason will play out still in the future. Shunning like you experienced is a very tough thing to go through. Especially when so much of your heart and soul was invested in those relationships. It's a very cruel, age-old practice.

I was recently talking to a young adult that was an ex-member, born and raised in the fellowship. We talked about the impact of growing up in the Living Word. The normal adult development is so stunted by the practice of "shepherding". We compared notes about this and had similar experiences like:

1. difficulty making decisions on our own
2. a feeling that when bad stuff happens, it's God punishing us for leaving the "center of the camp"
3. stunted relationships/dating skills with the opposite sex
4. difficulty taking correction (like when a boss at work needs to correct you)

I could list more, but will stop for now.

Posts by Changed4me and Invisible from late July of 2013:

Posted by: Changed4me
Date: July 30, 2013 10:19AM

John's first wife was named Martha Stevens. John and Martha lived in a home in North Hollywood on Kling St. The Blix House was connected directly behind John's home. What I know about Martha is from what others told me or from comments JRS made. I do know that John would have the women that lived in the Blix House, when it was first opened as a communal home, take Martha out to the market, or for ice cream... primarily to give him time alone. Of course that was not their primary role... but an interesting fact about the dynamics of John and Martha at the time.

John would often walk a path to their Blix House to "get away" from Martha. The Blix House had several young women who were dedicated and committed to "serving the apostle". Marilyn, her children Rick and Marti as well as Marilyn's mother Bessie lived there as well. You got to stay there only if you met the dedication requirements. It became the center for the group of women that traveled with John to services.

As in any relationship, over time people have differences. John and Martha no longer thought the same way about where his ministry was going. Marilyn was a very strong spirited individual and I am sure Martha was aware of Marilyn's influence. To be clear, there were several woman prior to Marilyn who were thought to be groomed as John's right hand support ministry... it was not just Marilyn. Ultimately she became the final chosen one.

I remember working with a guy in the church doing landscaping. One day we saw John and Marilyn parked on a secluded street... it looked like they were just talking. The guy I was with told me this was not the first time he had seen them together in that area. He explained to me that John needed the time away from Martha in order to work on sermons. This guy is the first person to tell me that Martha was a Nephilim. I remember the church praying against the nephilim spirit that was battling with JRS. When I found out that Martha was supposedly one of them I thought anyone that doesn't think like you do or anyone that doesn't want to do what you want to do must be a nephilim.

Marilyn's power and control over JRS was slow and gradual. Of course she was influential in JRS's decision to divorce Martha. As John's illness became worse, she became more influential.

Posted by: Invisible
Date: July 30, 2013 10:43AM

I remember the majority of the members back in the day were young people and many were searching and looking for a father figure. Many found something they ( in part ) needed in the church , that J.R.S. gave them by how he related to them and by the things he spoke about God from the pulpit.

Over the years many came to relate to John as being far more than an ordinary man, as being far more than a man . The many of the majority of the people came to idolize John. He became in their hearts and minds their Spiritual Father on earth. They over time came to look to John, relating to him as if he were all but God or as if he was the closest person on earth to being God, as their Spiritual Father. They built a place so high up for him on the throne of their hearts and in their minds, that they made him into their idol.

Hope everyone is doing what they can to stay safe during this pandemic, knowing full well they no longer have a covering.
-Danny Downer

changedagain Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hope everyone is doing what they can to stay safe
> during this pandemic, knowing full well they no
> longer have a covering.
> -Danny Downer

Oh so glad NOT to have a designated relationship, covering, shepherd, apostle, or anything remotely silmilar. They were their own pandemic.

Reep wrote:
Oh so glad NOT to have a designated relationship, covering, shepherd, apostle, or anything remotely similar. They were their own pandemic.

Truth!

Changed4me wrote on July 30, 2013 10:19AM:

"One day we saw John and Marilyn parked on a secluded street... it looked like they were just talking. The guy I was with told me this was not the first time he had seen them together in that area. He explained to me that John needed the time away from Martha in order to work on sermons. This guy is the first person to tell me that Martha was a Nephilim. I remember the church praying against the nephilim spirit that was battling."

Oh my! Between the (cough) "car/office" parked somewhere in the neighborhood and the well-worn path between the Kling St. residence and the Blix house, it seems that JRS got his money's worth buying the Blix house. (I mean the church's money's worth.) Or maybe I should just say OUR money's worth. : (



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/13/2020 10:49PM by Reepicheep.

Posted by: paleface
Date: July 29, 2013 06:00PM


I was recently talking to a young adult that was an ex-member, born and raised in the fellowship. We talked about the impact of growing up in the Living Word. The normal adult development is so stunted by the practice of "shepherding". We compared notes about this and had similar experiences like:

1. difficulty making decisions on our own
2. a feeling that when bad stuff happens, it's God punishing us for leaving the "center of the camp"
3. stunted relationships/dating skills with the opposite sex
4. difficulty taking correction (like when a boss at work needs to correct you)


* * *


This issue remains the #1 body-wide abuse that adversely affected all to varying degrees, aside from the more egregious offenses.  When the 'pure atmosphere' should have been borrowing from the old US Army adage, 'Be all you can be', it instead fostered a culture of perpetual dependency.  This in turn cultivated the list above, which many could expound upon further.

For the sake of the 'upward flow', all the great gifts and talents resident within each were jettisoned for a false narrative that enriched a few while impoverishing many.  What could have possibly been a formidible force in the earth unfortunately undermined itself through a big talk, and a destructive walk.

kBOY wrote:
For the sake of the 'upward flow', all the great gifts and talents resident within each were jettisoned for a false narrative that enriched a few while impoverishing many.

True

Post from May 2019 by Larry on the subject of the 'upward flow':

Posted by: larry bobo
Date: May 15, 2019 11:55AM

At the time of John’s death, the upward flow had already started. As Gary and Marilyn took control of the organization, the level of control and focus on them increased dramatically. There were a few members of the third generation that had referred to John as “Christ in the Flesh”, but to most, he was the “Door Opener Apostle” and Marilyn was "The Lamp of Israel". I believe in most local churches, Marilyn’s name was substituted for God’s in worship songs – while Gary was married to her. Many remember the service where leaders were asked to pledge their allegiance to and spiritually marry Marilyn - quite weird! You can’t have a higher position than to want to be worshiped as God. For Gary to try and distance himself from the hierarchy is ludicrous. He controls everything and yet seems to not want to take responsibility for anything.

Anyone who has ever served on a church corporation knows you served only as a figurehead. Gary and Marilyn made all the decisions. The last corporation I served on in Palmer Lake had in its Bylaws that if there was disagreement among the Board, the Apostolic Fathering Ministry – Gary and Marilyn – had the final say. You were basically on the corporation to do the legwork, but really had no say in anything of significance. The local church leadership reported to Apco weekly, and they in turn reported to Gary and Marilyn. I was removed several times from positions in the church for questioning things that have now come out in the open and everyone can see they needed to be questioned – e.g. the kingdom dawning in 1979, shepherding and designated relationships, false words from God, failed prophesies, and the cover up of sexual relationships between pastors and congregants – including John.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 05/14/2020 11:21PM by changedagain.