The cruel guilt-trips that were placed on the fellowship after John's death, via the "living" word, left lasting psychological damage on many people to gave their lives to this pipe dream. There's been many references from various posters in this forum and in FB groups about struggles with low self-esteem as a direct result of long-term exposure to TLWF (now dissolved) leaders who were living a life completely opposite of what they projected. Perhaps I'm adhering to an unrealistic standard, but I still think 'Mom' should have at least waited until her husband (aka 'The Apostle to the Kingdom') breathed his last breath...before getting busy with another man. And if she really did enjoy her new husband's 'tool,' no need to advertise it on a t-shirt to a younger generation. Some joys you should just keep to yourself (IMO).
Sorry for my religious spirit. Please disregard this comment that I am now ready to post.

p.s. in case anyone is wondering, I am still strictly adhering to the McDougall diet ever since I read on FB that it might provide an immunity to the coronavirus. In fact, last night my dinner consisted of just two baked potatoes and a shot of whiskey. Feeling pretty good this morning, so I think I am on the right track.
/s



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/16/2020 11:54PM by changedagain.

C H A N G E D

Perhaps you should submit (sorry) your 'potatoes & whiskey' diet to the CDC for consideration. We need to keep our options open.

On the other hand, the heartache and dysfunction you mention during the G&M era that afflicted so many is only one side of the coin.

I keep flashing back on all the yelling and screaming at HEAVEN that occurred during the 'Nephilim Wars' of the '70's, when the assault against the Door-Opener Apostle to fend off the Hounds of Hell was actually JRS drowning in his unresolved guilt from all the sh*t he had pulled up until that point.

We could have applied all that youthful piss & vinegar into something more important for our own well-being, like an education and/or a career.

What a concept . . .

changedagain Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
Perhaps I'm adhering to an unrealistic standard, but I still think 'Mom' should have at least waited until her husband (aka 'The Apostle to the Kingdom') breathed his last breath...before getting busy with another man. And if she really did enjoy her new husband's 'tool,' no need to advertise it on a t-shirt to a younger generation. Some joys you should just keep to yourself (IMO).
Sorry for my religious spirit. Please disregard this comment that I am now ready to post.

OMG!!! Choke, gag, hurl! Yes, they should have kept ALL that shit to themselves. But then, Gary Hargrave actually said, "Mom and I like to do it a lot" to a Valley church sanctuary full of young people. SMH

It is really hard to swallow (pardon the pun) all the stuff we swallowed over the years that was deemed appropriate and acceptable in a relationship that was supposed to be 'spiritual'.

The degradation, debauchery and inexcusable abuse, all done in the name of being 'spiritual', shows just how boiled all us frogs really were.

C H A N G E D (aka RECORDkeeper)

Previous post was #10,960 on page #1,096. (Only of interest to the RECORDkeeper.)

Hey, to most people's dismay, I do find that interesting. Thanks :)

Reep wrote:
Yes, they should have kept ALL that shit to themselves. But then, Gary Hargrave actually said, "Mom and I like to do it a lot" to a Valley church sanctuary full of young people. SMH

If their intent was to kill the libido of the younger generation, this public admission might have served that purpose. No one (I think) wants to envision 'Mom and Dad' doing it :)

I agree with the content of these four posts...and will not let the fact that they were posted on page 666 impact me one way or another :)

Re: The Living Word Fellowship, The Walk, John Robert Stevens
Posted by: Lifeontheotherside
Date: September 04, 2018 04:25PM

I want to share with you what I was going to post originally. I have some pretty strong feelings about what is happening now so got a little side tracked:)

I was 15 years old when I came in to TLWF in 1970. I spent 40 years of my life in in it. I married and raised my child in it. I experienced all that you all have expressed. It was so incredibly messed up. My biggest regret is that I subjected my child to this horribly abusive upbringing. (Who now I am so thankful to say is free from it and getting healthier and happier every day...and has forgiven me).

I want to address what "TheyCallMeJonah" brought up awhile back about adjusting to life outside of the cult. I too felt like I didn't have this massive change the Earth plan anymore. For a long while I felt like an unteathered balloon. I didn't feel like I had anything to "ground" me. It all felt so new and scary. Therapy really helped!!!! I began to realize that this was freedom. Freedom to explore who I am, what I believe, what I like to do etc., etc. It's an adventure and so much fun. And oh yes...FREE TIME to do whatever I want!
I was extremely lucky in that I had a couple of people who left at the same time as I did. We did and still do support each other. It is so helpful to have others who "get it", to talk about it - and talk about it we do!
What I found with us was that it was a gradual process in how we came to the truth. For me at first it was "This just isn't for me anymore", but they (TLWF) were ok in my mind to as they pleased. Then it began to become more and more apparent that they were really WEIRD. I remember the first time I told someone that I had been involved in a cult. It felt so scary to say that! Then the next step to say that I thought MH was crazy...I waited to be smitten down but I wasn't. The list goes on and all the way back to JRS. Now I acknowledge what a truly messed up organization it is.
My heart breaks for the people that are still stuck. Especially the one's who I know would leave but feel like the cost is just too great, losing their families. So so sad.
I am thankful for all of you brave and good people who have had the courage to begin new lives.
Here's to the journey of FREEDOM

Re: The Living Word Fellowship, The Walk, John Robert Stevens
Posted by: Road to Damascus
Date: September 04, 2018 08:16PM

Becoming free of the feeling that someone is watching and judging you constantly is a wonderful experience, even though it is scary in that how do you know who can you relate to safely. As for me I had been basically told I was never good enough and that my relationship was a Plan B. I watched as I and others were shunned and treated like we were trash. I am making new friends and finding that I am worthy of being loved and that I do not need to live afraid that anything I say or do will cause me to be rejected. I just wish I could help those I love discover this. Hoping I can find some others to talk to safely. I am looking forward to discovering the world around me and who I am and how I fit in to everything and being free.

Re: The Living Word Fellowship, The Walk, John Robert Stevens
Posted by: dirtybrushes
Date: September 04, 2018 08:34PM

I love that Reveal brought up that quote from Gary referencing the indifference with which his mother's pastors treated her. That IS the way of the Living Word...the very antithesis of "the Kingdom is relationships." My husband and I, rather than detaching from the cult suddenly, slipped away as we realized that there wasn't one person in the church whom we would call in the event of a personal or family emergency, but that the entirety of our "real tribe" exists in our blood family, immediate community, and my artistic community. Revealing, eh? I think we spent too many years holding each other at arm's distance, not making real friends, being told that bonding is "bad." Humbug!

My goodness...a lot of things came down while we were playing in Portland! I am so grateful to be observing this drama safely from the outside on my computer, rather than from the dungeons of Winterfell or Castle Black as winter descends. (Sorry for the geeky metaphor...some of you will get it.) Long story short, I'm grateful to be alive, awake, and aware that the king...as impotent as he may be...really has no clothes!

And when one sits the Iron Throne with no pants on, after awhile, he MAY "get the point!"

Re: The Living Word Fellowship, The Walk, John Robert Stevens
Posted by: Cloudwatcher
Date: September 04, 2018 09:43PM

It certainly is a strange journey being out from under the bubble. My first experiences were going in to shock as I looked at the world around me--people--places---nothing like how I have lived so separate or safe from that horrible world.

Hello World!! I now can interact with you according to how it really is. It has been scary and lonely and all--but to actually finally have your own mind. That is the best no matter how bad it gets. Life on the inside was hell on earth.

changedagain Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Reep wrote:
> Yes, they should have kept ALL that shit to
> themselves. But then, Gary Hargrave actually said,
> "Mom and I like to do it a lot" to a Valley church
> sanctuary full of young people. SMH
>
> If their intent was to kill the libido of the
> younger generation, this public admission might
> have served that purpose. No one (I think) wants
> to envision 'Mom and Dad' doing it :)

True, Changed. Oh, I forgot. Gary didn't say, "Mom and I like to do it alot". He said, "Mom and I like to f*** alot".

I think that we can all agree that is way TMI and utter a collective EW!!!!

It took 14.5 years (from Altar Kent in Feb. 2004) to get to page #666, and just two more years since the posts mentioned above to add over 430+ more pages. These posts were also just 6 weeks prior to 'Shalom-ashima' in Oct. 2018.

Considering the tsunami of responses that ensued after the fall, and the relative small size of the fellowship in comparison with mega-churches of today, reflects on the degree of abuse that affected so many in debilitating ways.

This is not something one would want on their resume if they were rebooting a new 'world-wide ministry'.

Caveat emptor.