Re: The Living Word Fellowship, The Walk, John Robert Stevens
Date: December 25, 2019 03:03AM
First of all I want to wish everybody happy holidays. I wanted to say a big thanks to everybody on this group. We might have meet before or not but there is definitely one thing we can all connect, survivors from the hands of predators that believe they are above the law and speaking on God’s name.
I am Brazilian and my first contact with TLW was in 19080. My sister was looking for something more than our baptism church and started going there. During my first service I met Silas Esteves. He was 10 years older than me. Johns Stevens was still alive and the powerful message touched my heart. I was so happy thinking that I have found my home.
Silas went to the US for a period and when he came back he was considered by all the person closest to John, Rick Holbrook, Marilyn, Scott MacDonald and others that are mentioned here.
When he came back, he had a fiancée but we started a relationship. I was 17 years old and had zero sexual experience. We dated, we even got engaged and I was working to support him financially. Years later he had a vision and I was not good enough to be his wife, because he was already moving on to the next girl. I tried to killed myself during that period because I was not enough.
I kept my head determined to move forward and in 1989 I went to Shiloh for a period and later lived for 6 months with Ricky and Shannon at the famous Blix Street. I noticed Ricky escaping with Maria during the odd hours of the day, I saw the way he acted among young girls. I was older and completely in love with Silas Esteves, even though he was engaged to someone else. He kept me on the side and I was okay with that. I thought I was not enough and that because of his importance and connection with God and the leaders of TLW he needed more than one person to satisfy him.
Silas Esteves deserves to go to jail. He was an abuser before but after finding others that acted like him there was no stop. I remember one day when I was seriously worried about Rick and Maria relationship and Silas was touching me and saying that the relationship he had with Maria was normal, like a father, unique like the relationship he had with me.
Because of Silas Esteves I left my family, I could not had relationships with other people and started having panic attacks. When I told him I was not coming to the church anymore he was mad. probably because I know so many of the secrets and during one service he announced that I was not going to be a part of the church anymore but that he was certain I gave my best years to serve him. This phrase haunted me. I thought I was going to die, that I would be hit by a car because I left. I was terrified!
I read a lot of the posts and comments and because I was part of this so called “inner circle” as a consequence of my relationship with Silas I feel ashamed for not saying anything in the past. He basically isolated me and controlled every single aspect of my life.
The breaking point was when he decided I should get married to one elder, so I could move closer to his, and his wife Selma, at the time.
I knew about boys being sexuality assaulted by elders, girls being groomed and at that time i was powerless.
I am in Los Angeles visiting friends this holiday, my first trip after almost 20 years and memories came flooding in my head and one Google search about The Valley church opened up all the gates to this post.
This cult has to end and the people in charge cannot be allowed to live their rich life with the money they literally stolen from so many people. They should pay for making such a group of wonderful people, that truly believed were serving God, in misery.
Sorry for saying this today but I literally feel free to express my feelings and knowing you guys understand me.
Thank you for creating a place we’re whe can share experiences and get healed together.