With all PTSD situations, the 'unpacking' is proportional to the amount that has been 'packed'. Is it a small onion (sorry ONION) or a 'whopper'.

Whatever modality works is all that matters; the whole range of traditional and non-tradition 'therapies' as well as writing, art, music, nature . . . fill in the blanks.

What does matter is that the 'application' be applied as often as necessary. I have a friend, Steve, who was a family-practice attorney who spent his life litigating emotional and sometimes explosive cases. His therapy now--walking the beach--every day. Cheap and effective.

We are in charge of our own healing, and the only world that can be saved is the one that comes before our face.

kBOY - Your friend's therapy is a good one. My law practice was also family law and that is part of the reason when I left the law practice, I left in a big way. The clients are going thru very dismal and emotional transitions and it's an unhappy place. I was very lucky in that I made some lifelong friends who continue to be friends on our journeys in life. But I wouldn't subject myself to that turmoil ever again.

I was drawn to areas of work that were steeped in conflict and turmoil. Gee, I wonder why.

I like this side of all of that. I'm enjoying my onion-ness and not necessarily focusing on constantly peeling. ;-)

OMG. I forgot the most important thing from my therapist. It all starts with making your priority over everything else, "SELF CARE." When you give all control over your life to someone (a cult), you put yourself on the back burner so entirely that you don't know where to start. Keep self-care as your priority and steps a few times a week and build from there.

I forgot to share one of the primary keys my therapist taught me.

In creating a new life after the cult, make "Self Care" your top priority. Even taking a small step and doing something consistently that is caring for yourself (preparing healthy meals, bathing with a lovely new soap, etc.) starts the process of removing the conditioning of the negative life under cult control.

I especially think all the guys should try bathing with a lovely new soap. ;-)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/07/2019 02:22PM by Onion.

Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

>
> In creating a new life after the cult, make "Self
> Care" your top priority. Even taking a small step
> and doing something consistently that is caring
> for yourself (preparing healthy meals, bathing
> with a lovely new soap, etc.) starts the process
> of removing the conditioning of the negative life
> under cult control.

Recently I reconnected with my dad. It’s funny how you can forget over time how bad things could be. I had a bit of a relapse. Waking up with fear gut bombs in the middle of the night and not being able to concentrate during the day. Seems my PTSD got triggered. All of that to say, I stayed home from work for a couple of days to recover. I have difficulty allowing myself the small pleasures of life. Thanks for this reminder to be good to myself!!

One more thing, when I was full on PTSD and moved to Oregon for a year of respite from the life I had known, I had no Idea who my GP landlord was. I just chose that property to rent from a craigslist ad. I think it is odd/providence that I ended up in the lions den so to speak without knowing it. It seems I came out without being harmed. But it’s really weird that out of all the places that I could have chosen, it was THAT place. It makes me ponder...because after all....I am a writer. So...did God put me there?

O N I O N & N O R T H


I wholeheartedly concur that pampering/healing ourselves after degrees of injury is no 'sin', and should be applied as often as necessary. We are each responsible for heading up our own inner environmental movement.

Onion-peeling can bring tears to one's eyes, but once accomplished, is a tasty treat as an added ingredient.

One must also be careful reentering the 'lion's/tiger's den' without having undergone the proper training, and even then, that is no guarantee. I think Siegfried & Roy have experience with this, training or not.

Bubble-bath anyone?

* * *

N O R T H

"I think it is odd/providence that I ended up in the lions den so to speak without knowing it. But it’s really weird that out of all the places that I could have chosen, it was THAT place. So...did God put me there?"

A big Y E S to that. It not only confirmed to you that your upbringing was anything but 'normal', but added the benefit of clarifying in your mind the ability to recognize that paradigm in other situations.

Plus, it brought you to us, and us to you, as we all journey forward together, away from the devastation that lay behind, and on to our own 'promised land'.

kBOY Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> O N I O N & N O R T H
>
>
> Plus, it brought you to us, and us to you, as we
> all journey forward together, away from the
> devastation that lay behind, and on to our own
> 'promised land'.


Thank you sooo much for your words. It is terribly difficult to find people who understand the combined disaster of cult/ptsd issues. I’m so thankful for this group and this day. Today, as with most weekends, I am sitting at a coffee shop writing. I have to put earplugs in and listen to night crickets so I can concentrate. Once my mind finally focuses....I have a lot to write about and even more to be grateful for!

Northerngate: The first time anyone ever discussed PTSD with me, it had to do with my father and then the cult. No matter the cause of the trauma, the panic of feeling unsafe is genuine.

I don't focus on causes from my family because my dad has been dead since 1995 and we got close before he died and I miss him. But while he was alive, I never stopped hoping I could find a tender moment with him which was impossible because of his personality. I thought the "fathering ministry" of the Walk took care of my need. Then reality struck. I parent myself now with "self-care."

I'm glad you are part of this group. I think we all have understanding of the hits and heartaches of life and especially of life in the Walk/cult. I have almost always felt this was a safe place to talk.

Quote

Posted by: Onion ()
Date: December 07, 2019 04:47PM

I have almost always felt this was a safe place to talk.

Me, not so much...until after Shalom's post and the viral aftermath. Now I'm good, though. ; )



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/08/2019 08:15AM by Reepicheep.