Much of the abuse and other morally and ethically questionable actions by leaders associated with and who succeeded John Stevens were not something I personally experienced. When my wife and I left around 1998 over issues in South Gate it wasn't so much over abuse as it was what I considered a lack of adherence to the principles of church governance taught from the pulpit and in the literature. Two decades later, our experiences in Palmer Lake were definitely abuse and slander, but there much of the abuse was directed at my wife, who seemed always on the short leash of one pastor or another's displeasure. Even in the Houston Texas church a decade or more before we left my wife was never fully able to fall into line with the expectations, and it was difficult for her.

When I found "the Walk" in 1971, I became a "true believer" and spiritual experiences at that time and also afterwards were something that defines me to this day. I have difficulty accepting that Stevens was the con man he is characterized to be. On the other hand, I did not know him except for a few encounters in Santa Barbara and on the platform in the Valley.

The quandary I find myself in is the classic definition of cognitive dissonance. But what I realize is that those experiences, even though they occurred during my "walk" years, had nothing whatsoever to do with the "walk." That being said, I am sad that what I thought were the promises of a walk with God in the "fellowship" were never to come to pass. It is even harder for me that so many were hurt by it in so many disturbing ways. In my mind I considered "our" churches to be sanctuaries from the corruption outside the doors and that is what I endeavored to make them wherever I was and it is disturbing that so much evil found its way inside.

Godly judgement, for all the prayers we made for it to fall on those evil Nephilim (some of whom turned out to be us), seems to have fallen where it should have fallen -- on those leaders and on a movement that preyed on the weak and on the vulnerable for personal gain and carnal satisfaction. I doubt it matters whether we continue to post about what happened or not, whether we press for legal action or not -- like the fingers that wrote on the wall at Belshazzar's feast, "mene mene tekel parsin," the Living Word Fellowship has been measured and found lacking and will be divided up and given to another.

For all the Fellowship turned out to be, and while I have some regrets, had I never been there I never would have found my wife who is still with me after 42 years, or been blessed with my three children (who turned out mostly normal) and two grandchildren. I am thankful for that and I hope others find some comfort also on this side of what was.

Richard M. Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> NancyB, as an aside to your link to a DNA
> clearance of an old case, and what can result from
> even a backward start and long after the church
> was just a shadow in memory, when I retired from
> the LAPD in 1990 I was the Assistant Commanding
> Officer of Scientific Investigation Division and
> Director of the Technical Laboratory. Since then,
> DNA has rapidly become a boon to law enforcement
> and frustrating to would-be criminals. I wonder if
> any of those allegedly having been molested and
> abused in the cult had offered any such evidence
> through formal complaint? Maybe a coalition of the
> newer abused filing complaints from each
> geographic location would have a coordinated and
> terminating affect on this cult? But what do I
> know . . . .

I'm just an old RN and psycho thriller novelist- what do I know, either? Perhaps, owners of DNA that ot left deposited in all the wrong places might start shaking in their boots at minimum.

Dear Richard, may I ask about Orange county in the early 80's?

I reported abuse and it turned on me after they apparently talked to the kingdom school principal and the bro. Of course it is complicated with many many mistakes in the initial report in'81.

My son has wanted resolution as he had long term documented issues from that abuse to say the least ( if possible for me) I know the whole church abuse issue had to sound crazy.

I heard JRS at Shiloh sweet talking authorities in Washington county at Shiloh a few years before in the late '70's- to get some of the boozing bro out of jail. Is that possible that JRS could have sweet talked his abusive teachers out of getting charged in Orange county CA as well?

Is there a way I can go back to dig out the records where I made a desperate call for help for my children? My children were removed from my home- gratefully -because i got me out of the walk. But, the only abuse was in that un-Christian school by the principal who is still a teacher in CA.

I am not asking you to do any thing.

Just asking how I can open that can of 1980's worms on my own in CA today when I live in Iowa now. Orange county told me to make my claims in person. I've learned to not believe every thing others say or tell me to do.

I was also wondering if I would ever be able to find out if my ex had been pulled over for things like DUI or other issues back then in the '80's. We need to solve some mysteries, but, I can 't go to Orange county. Again, I'm not asking you to do anything. I just need a hint to know what words to use to get what I think I need.

Thank you again, Dick. Any reply is totally your choice to reply or not to reply.

changedagain Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Nancy B.
> "John S visited - I was mesmerized by is speech
> pattern and voice. (There are some very old
> recording of John that if you get a chance to
> listen to you may discover why the first
> generation loved him."
>
> I recall trying to bring my brother into the
> fellowship in the late 70's. I handed him a This
> Week, and he read the first few pages in my
> presence, curtly handing it back to me with this
> comment:"It's hypnotic." I think my attempt at
> evangelism pretty much stopped there.
> Anyway, I suspect the cadence in speech and
> writing was something John studied in order to
> keep people's attention and maximize his
> influence. As I look back, I realize much what I
> thought was spontaneous on his part, was actually
> very calculated. A talented con man, he was.
> Anyway, I.hope.this.comment.has.been.help.ful
>
> changed.again.

Yes, Changed, I am convinced he studied how to maximize his efforts. Unless biographies were changed anyone can read how WJ his father had studied at Angelicus Chapel in LA are under Aimee simple MacPhearson. Young John was by Dad Stevens side. That is recorded in his history. i recall so many times when John S spoke of Aimee; Smith wiggleworth and Kathryn Kulman to name a few of the very popular evangelists. I doubt that any old real to real recordings
available from the late '50's early 60's in Washington.

The full impact did not really hit me until I watched old recordings on You Tube of these evangelists that jrs admired.

For me the odd thing was that I was researching for mind -control example that were non- CTLW related. In fact I was not even think of our cult when i discovered these old videos- ended up opening Pandora's box with a mega epiphany about the "church group " I had left decades before. I knew these names well, but had never experienced watching nor had been able to listen to them. It is uncanny.

Here's a You tube link to tickle your fancy if anyone is so inclined to compare the speech dynamics - the glamourous stair cases and satin gowns for jrs. Substitute the Hawaiian shirt maybe.

[youtu.be]

I stand corrected in my poor choice of words trying to skirt around blunt facts.
I am not a malicious person. I have spent all too much time in my professional career working with victims all kinds of abuse. I have seen the long term harm done.

I will stand on my resolve that some of our groups leaders belong in prison. The victims of abuse were not free to leave the group at the time of the abuse- they were youth taken advantage of.

Whether people agree or not I could have been more blunt in stating that pedophiles are the lowest of the low in prison, I KNOW what will have to the serious sexual abuser among the group.I do NOT wish that on anyone. Google the facts- it no pretty. Nor is the damage done to vulnerable youth.

I have testified against a pedophile in court that got that man off the streets after decades of abuse. For any one who think that forgive and forget is the way to go- I disagree.

I can only guess that this fact that molesters are the scum of the earth to convicts was not "revealed by the holy spirit" to the molesters etc that are in question.

The degree of criminal behavior should not be allowed to continue running free.

I reacted and responded - you don't know me. I am not a vicious person. I generally do not wish other harm. What will happen in prison once convicted is not my wish.

Every now and then I must mention that I am 24.2% Ashkenazi Jew (according to 23andme results from a year or so ago--roughly confirming prior results from ancestry.com). I can't tell you what impact this knowledge has had on me...other than occasionally having the urge to check out a book about the Rothchilds from the local library. Anyway, sorry for the distraction. Carry on with the important stuff :)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/24/2019 01:13AM by changedagain.

p.s. it's on my Mom's side, which I hear is more significant.

Richard M. I am very grateful for the honesty and the time you have poured into disclosing all of this. It's truly time that your story be heard. I know this sounds like your typical confirmation bias, but I did always feel something fishy about Marilyn and Gary and the whole mystique that surrounded Marilyn, suggesting that she was the pinnacle of how a woman should be, to which we should all strive to attain. It sounds like, in the skillful hands of the "Apostle," she became the exact converse of that which she preached! All of this is immediately very freeing to me, but I have a suspicion that it will penetrate layers of memory as time goes on, and it will liberate me from things I can't even begin to imagine right now! Thank you.

Yes. And I recall that the Blix girls in the 70’s & 80’s were taught to “get Marilyn’s thinking”. Because she had the “mind of Christ”. To think like her, was to think like God.

I’m not kidding. I heard this doctrine myself.

puddington Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Yes. And I recall that the Blix girls in the 70’s
> & 80’s were taught to “get Marilyn’s thinking”.
> Because she had the “mind of Christ”. To think
> like her, was to think like God.
>
> I’m not kidding. I heard this doctrine myself.


The mantra after John married Marilyn was that Marilyn would be the example of how to apply John's word. She would be the path toward understanding the "living word." They completed each other. I don't think it was coincidental that I began having massive migraines during this time period.