puddington Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Note: the moderator’s links go to cult references
> that are fairly general. Most of them were
> written by other cult experts, as well as RR. I
> have read most of this material. I found it
> exceptional and very helpful for my healing. The
> Nichols paper is very helpful too. But everyone is
> different. Some of you may not wish to read all
> that stuff. Some of you will. Peace !!!

I haven't read the material he's referenced, but I'm relatively certain it would do so good. Plus it would give me a much needed break from reading about Brett Kavanaugh & how poorly he has been treated. For my own mental health, I can't spend all my time crying about his situation.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/03/2018 10:36PM by changedagain.

To whom it may concern:

I received several complaints about kBoy and requests from participants on this thread to moderate. People complained that kBoy was blaming victims for their abuse and preaching personal philosophies.

Reading the thread proved that the complaints were accurate.

I don't have the time to go on and on about this.

If such complaints come up again kBoy will simply be banned from this message board.

RRMODERATOR:

So, I'm curious, and need to ask, if you had noticed that KBOY took note of your disciplinary words and has been posting more generic encouragement, with a focus on not using the words that seem to offend. I trust that you will take that into consideration.

We are in an interesting time right now with the "me too" movement gaining ground, and the Kavanaugh hearings going on. I too, can count myself as a "me too", on more than one occasion. I hear what you are saying, but tend to also feel that some of it is semantics. We are not professional forum writers. Expressing one's self on a forum can be hit or miss. You may feel like what you are writing from your heart is inclusive, forgiving, encouraging, and gentle. However, a reader may read it with a certain experience in mind and have a hard time with it.

As an added note, I have also read many articles on cults and their effects. I would love to read your book, but at this point, do not feel that it should be a prerequisite for contributing to the forum.

Any one of us would seriously be heartbroken to think that we have written something offensive to all of those desperately needing healing. Its good to realize and remember that we have all been in the same boat, and the way we approach our journey will be different. Hopefully, much like a marriage, working through those differences together will make us stronger.

ONION:

There were so very, very many wrongs done (and still are being done). I have no issues with you doing timelines or whatever it takes to untether us from the last remaining ties and make sure those responsible are held accountable.

To whom it may concern:

There is no requirement to read anything.

But when people insinuate, or speculate that cult victims are somehow responsible for the abuse they experienced it often comes from a place of ignorance. Reading can help to inform people about how cults operate.

The links I posted were not to promote my book, but rather to promote meaningful research about cults, coercive persuasion and influence techniques.

If participants on this thread don't want to be informed by that research that's fine.

But if posts continue to appear insinuating, no matter how cryptically, that victims somehow share blame with predatory cult leaders regarding the abuse they endured, the person posting such statements will be banned.

Hopefully, this post is clear enough on this point. So that if someone is banned for their bad behavior concerning this issue on this thread they will know why that happened.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 10/04/2018 02:01AM by rrmoderator.

First of all, I wanted to say that I’ve noticed a difference in kBOY’s posts, and I believe he has tried to make adjustments so that he meets rrmoderator’s requirements. As an electrical instructor, I get paid to research and then to condense and simplify my findings as a time saver for students. They get to learn in a few hours what might have taken a few years to learn the long way. I believe rrmoderator has done great research and is genuinely trying to help shorten the healing process for those who have been in TLWF. I’ve read his book, as well as many others, and they are very valuable and helpful tools. After spending years of having our lives micro-managed, there is a knee-jerk reaction to anyone telling us what to do – even if it would be genuinely helpful. I think it is important to recognize this reaction before throwing out the baby with the bath water. It’s a perfectly normal defensive response to being hurt – but it may also keep us from knowing the truth that could set us free. Rick Ross is not the enemy – the cult is.

I would suggest again actually reading the information rrmoderator suggested before forming an opinion about it – then you can accurately tell the author everything you disagree with. I think you will find that there is actually more that you will agree with - as well as discovering things you were totally unaware of. I would tend to question how much we really “know” without first doing the research – something rrmoderator has tried to address several times. I guarantee your view of TLWF will change over time, the more you understand the dynamics involved. Our experience in TLWF is not as unique as you might think – I also gave 30 years of my life to earn the right to say that. As with the Kavanaugh hearings of the past week, when viewed through an emotional lens, half the people are convinced he is a serial rapist and the other half are convinced these are only trumped up charges to gain power in the Supreme Court. Hopefully, The FBI investigation will reveal who is correct. My concern for ex-pats is that we hang on to our emotional lens of how we view our experience in TLWF - which is very real, but not very trustworthy - and then stagnate the healing process instead of listening to what the cult professionals have to say and moving on down the road to recovery.

larry bobo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> First of all, I wanted to say that I’ve noticed a
> difference in kBOY’s posts, and I believe he has
> tried to make adjustments so that he meets
> rrmoderator’s requirements. As an electrical
> instructor, I get paid to research and then to
> condense and simplify my findings as a time saver
> for students. They get to learn in a few hours
> what might have taken a few years to learn the
> long way. I believe rrmoderator has done great
> research and is genuinely trying to help shorten
> the healing process for those who have been in
> TLWF. I’ve read his book, as well as many others,
> and they are very valuable and helpful tools.
> After spending years of having our lives
> micro-managed, there is a knee-jerk reaction to
> anyone telling us what to do – even if it would be
> genuinely helpful. I think it is important to
> recognize this reaction before throwing out the
> baby with the bath water. It’s a perfectly normal
> defensive response to being hurt – but it may also
> keep us from knowing the truth that could set us
> free. Rick Ross is not the enemy – the cult is.
>
> I would suggest again actually reading the
> information rrmoderator suggested before forming
> an opinion about it – then you can accurately tell
> the author everything you disagree with. I think
> you will find that there is actually more that you
> will agree with - as well as discovering things
> you were totally unaware of. I would tend to
> question how much we really “know” without first
> doing the research – something rrmoderator has
> tried to address several times. I guarantee your
> view of TLWF will change over time, the more you
> understand the dynamics involved. Our experience
> in TLWF is not as unique as you might think – I
> also gave 30 years of my life to earn the right to
> say that. As with the Kavanaugh hearings of the
> past week, when viewed through an emotional lens,
> half the people are convinced he is a serial
> rapist and the other half are convinced these are
> only trumped up charges to gain power in the
> Supreme Court. Hopefully, The FBI investigation
> will reveal who is correct. My concern for
> ex-pats is that we hang on to our emotional lens
> of how we view our experience in TLWF - which is
> very real, but not very trustworthy - and then
> stagnate the healing process instead of listening
> to what the cult professionals have to say and
> moving on down the road to recovery.


Well said Larry.

Changedagain - You mean grapefruit juice with a hearty pour of vodka - that's called a salty dog and that's what most hard workers could expect before working, during working, after working and any time. After all, that's why at CLW alone there are at least 4 Bars (behind the platform for the musicians, behind the recording booth for the audio guys, in the admin offices probably for the underage female secretaries or what can be called the prey herd, and one by the cafe. If that's not enough, you can go over to the Holbrook Resort where there is ample drinking space and another bar or you can go behind the custom-built barn if you want to revel in the fabulous horse ministry of the Holbrooks. It's all there. Come one come all. There isn't even an age limit! But you aren't allowed to say no.

I love what you post Changedagain and you always make me laugh. I was going to respond and try to be funny but then my own brain and memories set me off on a tangent again. Ho hum.

Thanks for backing me. Thanks to Cloud and Puddington too. All of us have similar goals - we want the abuse stopped. No one should feel squelched in whatever way he or she hopes to make this happen.


And, by the way, this wonderful forum has resulted in information being passed on to authorities and a sexual predator being put behind bars in the past. We can only hope that we would be that effective.

ONION:

I have to say that your description of the L.A. bar scene caught me a bit by surprise, having spent most of my years of service in various other outposts.

I always knew L.A. was a different kind of animal when we would attend the feasts there back in the day, but your more recent description mentioned many places I have never seen nor ever will. Such was the naivete of us who occupied the hinterland.

This forum has not only provided a platform with a view to our past, but can certainly contribute efforts to the arresting of any current or future abuse as well. Many good people need not continue to suffer at the hands of those few with ill intent.

Don't ever question whether a ministry can competently direct a person's life while intoxicated. It shows a lack of faith in God's ability to move through his anointed in any situation, any circumstance. That's why I still am inclined to believe that John was transported seven years into the future to witness the Kingdom while (allegedly) spending quality time with his girlfriend. No idea whether he was drunk at the time--it's completely irrelevant. God relishes moving through the 'weakness' of his vessels:
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
2 Corinthians 12:9

note: the above is a principle I learned while in TLWF. A death threat helped sear it into my memory. I am no longer addled by a religious spirit.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/04/2018 11:09PM by changedagain.

p.s. I do have a shot or two of whiskey every night. I'm tempted, on occasion, to have more...mostly because I want to experience God's mighty moving. But I weigh that desire with my doctor's advice to remain temperate...and so far the latter has more sway.