rrmoderator Wrote:
> > This is a long standing active thread that has
> > provided deep insights into a group that has
> > little information about it on the Web.

True. And if it goes up in flames, I'm still proud that people have come forward all these years to courageously express what they experienced in this cult. It's had a good run.

It won't go up in flames. Because if anyone posts inflammatory comments they will be banned from the board.

Just message me and they will blocked and banned if they are attacking people on this board personally.

Not to change the subject or anything, but I have a question for the general forum, and would love to hear yall's thoughts. How did you relationship to God, change/evolve/end after leaving the cult? Did it regrow after a time? or was it just all too much? Every time I open the Bible now, I can't help but hear it spoken as the voice of the Body of Christ.

Tknc, there are probably as many answers to your question as there are LW Cult survivors. For me personally, when I first left the cult, I visited a few other Christian churches. The trust issues were too great for me. I even considered becoming Catholic after attending a Catholic funeral and rosary for a friend's family member. It was the most different thing I could think of. At this point, I am still churchless, but have visited one a few times. I doubt that I will ever hand over my heart to a church group as I did in the LW again.

I have had flashbacks similar to what you describe when trying to read the Bible. It was suggested to me that I try reading a different translation. That has helped somewhat. But I still don't read regularly. I'm not sure how my faith story will turn out.

Thank you for sharing and for your candor. For me, the biggest hurdle is the language of the Bible (no matter the translation) was so twisted, bent and added upon my whole life, it's hard not to just feel the weight of it all. I find no solace, only reminders of what I left behind.

TKNC and GoingRogue, I can relate to that. My relationship with God is inextricably linked with a relationship to a person and to TLW. When I read the Bible, certain phrases jump out at me differently than they do to people outside the walk still to this day. For instance, when I read about the armor of God, it's through a veil of spiritual transference and needing to protect my aura so that I am in control of my spirit. It's so difficult to separate what was a control mechanism from what was genuine that I often find myself just compartmentalizing it all.

Sometime in the 90s I developed a habit of reciting "to be a Christian" to myself at night until I had it down like a devotional. I still lie in bed telling myself going at this life alone, without the covering of a Shephard, is "vainstriving, defeated ambition, and misdirected effort."

John intended for TLW to be very personal,very in your face. It's clear that he often didn't know what he was doing, but he was convinced that whatever it was, it needed to be personal. There is so much even in "to be a Christian" alone that is meant to beat you down and make you feel hopeless as an individual. Through impossible goals of devotion like that, JRS manufactured feelings of personal inadequacy and insecurity. He called it "personal," professionals call it "abuse."

Anyway, all that to say, yes, I too struggle with deprogramming what should be innocuous passages in the Bible.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/01/2018 11:06PM by GSchaeff.

Tknc Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Thank you for sharing and for your candor. For me,
> the biggest hurdle is the language of the Bible
> (no matter the translation) was so twisted, bent
> and added upon my whole life, it's hard not to
> just feel the weight of it all. I find no solace,
> only reminders of what I left behind.

I agree. I feel the same way. I am churchless and do not enjoy reading the Bible much. Too many memories. It’s difficult to read a book that was often used as a weapon against me.

"For instance, when I read about the armor of God, it's through a veil of spiritual transference and needing to protect my aura so that I am in control of my spirit. It's so difficult to separate what was a control mechanism from what was genuine that I often find myself just compartmentalizing it all."

Wow, yeah that is a perfect example. From an early age, I was encouraged to read that passage in the morning and visualize putting on the armor to protect my spirit from the people around me in middle school.

JezTheBelle Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> I am here for one purpose and one purpose only.
> When I have accomplished my goal, I will fade
> right back into the woodwork that I came out of,
> resume my life as it stands, and leave this whole
> nightmare in the dust of the past where it
> belongs.

> The claims of “the faithful” that things have
> changed, that reparations have been made, and that
> those responsible for abuses have been “set out”
> or have “blown out” are false. What has changed
> is a PR campaign and a tightening of “oversight”
> to improve the image of what was then and remains
> now, a cult of control; monetary, spiritual,
> physical and emotional.

Well-said, JezTheBelle.
Whoever is in charge of the PR is obviously talented. They better being getting well-compensated for their work. If not, now is the time to negotiate for more money ;)

GSchaeff Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> TKNC and GoingRogue, I can relate to that. My
> relationship with God is inextricably linked with
> a relationship to a person and to TLW.

That is so true. The focus was very negative. How about leaving your father and your mother? Or rebellion is as witchcraft? The Jesus that I heard about in the LW was a much meaner Jesus than the one that most Christian believers know. After all, he threatened to kill John. What would he do to others if they withdrew?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/01/2018 11:58PM by GoingRogue.