I was not familiar with the term “svengali”, so I looked it up. The following excerpt from Dr. Rebecca Housel’s description of a svengali should raise some concerns about life in, and escape from, TLFW.

“No one who loves you should ever require you to subjugate yourself, your values or your dreams in any way. Real love raises you up, helps you become a better person. Helps you feel better about yourself. Helps you move toward realizing your dreams. Your svengali will say anything to convince you to agree to her terms; she will not relent, even if she promises otherwise. She will trick you by utilizing a push-pull behavior, making you feel rejected, then, accepted, over and over again until you crave her acceptance above all else. In order to break free, you have to be strong enough to recognize your svengali's patterns. You also have to recognize your responsibility in the situation. And forgive yourself when you do. While you may have contributed to your svengali's control over you and your life, once you recognize this, and take pains to remove yourself, you will be free--but only if you stay the course. In order to do that, you must believe you deserve the things your svengali has convinced you are outside of your reach.”

The true teachings of Jesus make life and relationships clearer and more functional – not confusing and destructive. Families should become strengthened and healthier – not destroyed. The path should become brighter – not darker. In hindsight, when a group is isolated, you have no reference point to determine whether the fruit that is produced is good or bad. For me, it was like coming out of a black hole into the light. The lie that my “svengali” had convinced me of was that I could not walk with God apart from them. Actually, I was being kept from a walk with God as long as they were taking His place.

Push-pull behavior. Boy, that describes Marilyn perfectly.

changedagain Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> puddington Wrote:
> -------------------------------------------------------
> > “Roller coaster from hell”
> >
> > Sounds like an AC/DC song.
>
> "Hey mama, look at me
> I'm on my way to the promised land,
> I'm on the highway to hell
> Highway to hell"
>
> (sing in the spirit)



---------------------------------------------------------------------
(cluck like a chicken)

I'm moving near to the beach. Sounds idyllic but I was warned to do my own due diligence. So I though to myself. So long as there are no modern day apostles nearby or churches exhibiting new gifts (like people speaking in animal voices during worship), it will be fine.

Great post larry bobo about your Svengali. Interesting Bessie's comment that NickleandDimed posted. I recall hearing Bessie's concerns about M working 24/7 as Bessie cared for the kids full time. Some of the inner circle Blix girls came from traumatic backgrounds and substance abuse. They think JRS saved their lives. JRS may have been a Svengali to them also.

larry bobo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> .
> The lie that my “svengali” had convinced me of was
> that I could not walk with God apart from them.
> Actually, I was being kept from a walk with God as
> long as they were taking His place.


The lie my "Svengalis" told me was they were the Word or Christ in the Earth. But they were so grotesque and hideous. I was kept from knowing His actual beauty.

The lie I was told was that it was impossible to understand the Bible without the interpretation of it from JRS (then later, G&M). YASP kids were encouraged to skip reading the Bible and just listen to tapes.

My parents took the place of JRS and they became the only way my sisters and I could have access to God. Every thing that happened good or bad was open to interpretation by them. If it was a bad thing that happened to us, we needed to press in. If a bad thing happened to them, we needed to press in. Eventually the same type of body signs that JRS manipulated his followers with, my dad began manifesting and the only way for him to feel relief was if we were all walking in the spirit. Too much flesh in the ecosystem caused more pain.

"The pattern captures the musings of a man who traffics in conspiracy theories and alternate realities and who can’t resist inserting himself into any story line at any moment."

I came across this line in an op-ed this morning, describing traits of a man that most of us likely are sick of hearing about. I think the characteristics highlighted could easily be applied to the cult leaders we trusted...and in varying degrees, have been set free from.

what pops to mind:
-conspiracy theories: obsession with nephilim channels in the 70's/early 80's
-alternate realities: coming of the Kingdom in 1979, in spite of every evidence to the contrary
-inserting himself (or herself) into every story line: John declaring that he was framing the Kingdom age by the word (strikingly similar in theme to messages that originated in another movement) he spoke. Note: everything of significance that was happening in the world was somehow related to what he was doing, and later, what Marilyn and Gary were doing.

It is quite apparent to me that the leadership of the Living Word (JRS, G&M) had significant delusions of grandeur.

larry bobo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> "Since the pastors at Shiloh seem to have
> no recollection of praying for John to be raised
> from the dead, I was wondering if anyone besides
> myself remembers those long nights of prayer."

Before and after John died, I worked at the Blix house answering phones. I remember very clearly after John died Blix girls would come into the house, big smiles on their faces saying that they knew John would be raised from the dead. I remember thinking, "I don't think so." But, of course, I thought, what's wrong with me? Didn't I have faith or pray hard enough? I never vocalized it, but I think it became clear and really a turning point for me as some of the girls questioned me about my dedication. One person in particular used to pass snide comments to me that left me baffled at the time, and I definitely began backing away at that point.

Tknc Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> Really happy to discover this thread. Been
> desperately trying to find more people that I can
> relate my story to that will understand what I
> have/am going through.
>
>
> So right now, I feel shattered and hollow. Not
> sure what I believe, like walking around with a
> broken compass. I guess I'm looking for resources
> and advice from those that have escaped this way
> of thinking and have gotten on the other side.

Welcome Tknc and thanks for sharing. It's heartbreaking to hear your story. Even though your family left The Walk, sounds like that unhealthy belief system was still here. I can't even imagine.

I was very involved for 10 years and when I left, I suppressed it all. I have grown children who have no clue and I only told my husband very limited information about that time in my life. And although I've attended a few other churches over the years, I'm still trying to find a church that I feel comfortable with. I left the Walk 30 years ago and it's only recently that I've tried to understand what it is that I was involved in. This group has been a great resource and a great encouragement to me. Know that you're not alone, many of us still struggle, but I feel a bit freer every day.