Thanks for the feedback - changed -

I should clarify that my bitterness was pre G&M. I left in the early 1980's.

40yearsin2016, your post helped validate my understanding.



BTW, I think I saw a guy in really tight blue jeans on eHarmony?

pbxguy,,

I was actually joking, to a degree, and also pointing out, that with the laws of California the way they are, and with the blind acceptance of the living word cult's sheep, and the total lack of morals of both Gary and Marilyn, it could be pulled off very easily. Consider the fact that many more mainline church heroes pull that sort of act all the time. In fact, Christians all over the place will listen to stories from televangelists about how they just raised the dead in the last meeting they were in, however the cameras were off at the time, but they will catch it next time. People that want to believe in their chosen flesh and blood stand in Gods will believe anything they say. It could happen, people with cancer go into remission every day. IF Marilyn had not died, and they decided to just pull something off for whatever reason, and they decided to stage a fake funeral where Gary or Rick Holbrook or whoever, just "raised her from the dead," Living Word Fellowship would have a whole new lease on life, their numbers would probably grow. Take a look at T.B. Joshua, Benny Hinn, the list is endless.

At some point JRS made a statement that was rather insulting to the South, in one of his sermons he referred to a black man in the bible, I think the man that helped Jesus carry His cross, but I am not sure, but JRS said that if he were in the South he would call him a N!&&$r,(I hate political correctness). I woke up right there, and started paying attention to JRS to see if he really did have all the wisdom and knowledge the he was supposed to have. You see, at that time the only black people I knew in Living Word Fellowship other than Larry Cotton were members of a church in the South, and and I also knew of dozens of churches in my town that had about fifty/fifty membership of black and white members worshiping God together in peace and harmony, with greater oneness than in the Walk churches. I should have gotten out right then, just the realization that JRS felt the Southern churches were not worth of his PAROUSIA when he went out on his little walk-about and traveled to DC and up in Canada etc. visiting churches. I doubt if he knew that there were any Walk churchs in the South. But there were, great churches full of wonderful people and NONE of the elders down here were pulling the mind $$#@s that were evident in the California churches.

I should have gotten out then but I held on, and for that I feel like an idiot.

LR: he he, tight blue jeans on eharmony - that's a scary thought even for halloween...

40yearsin2016 – Thanks for posting. I listened to Adele’s “Hello” at your suggestion. I’m 60 (30 years in TLWF, 1969-1999) and probably do live under a rock. I just don’t listen to secular music anymore for whatever reason. The heart cry she expresses and the deep hunger we all experienced coming into TLWF can only be satisfied in Him. In spite of the failures of men (or women), He has not changed in His desire for us. He remains faithful to us– no matter what we do. I’ve often wondered if God allows the frailties of humans – including ourselves – to exist in the path of a deeper relationship with Him. “You say you want to ‘Walk’ with Me. Do you have your eyes on Me, or the people around you or what you think I can give you?” Like Peter, we all sink in the storm when we take our eyes off Him. To their credit, many in TLWF - like Peter - were at least willing to get out of the boat. He really is doing us a favor, we don’t realize at the time, by making it clear that He is the only way.

I have a plaque over my desk that says, “If you are going through hell, keep going.” I hung it there when I felt I had lost God, my family, my church, my work, all my life-long friends, and myself. It was the darkest, blackest time I’ve ever experienced. I would actually be surprised when I would wake up the morning, expecting that I would physically die during the night. I believed so deeply that TLWF was God, and for whatever reason, God was so messed up, I just could not follow Him any longer. I really thought I had forfeited my eternity. I was also clinically depressed.

When it became evident I was going to be around for a while, I figured I’d go back to Jesus’ words and apply his principles so that my life could at least become bearable – in spite of the fact I was certain He had rejected me. I just wanted to make the best use of the time I had left. I knew people in the world sometimes made better use of Jesus’ words than many Christians – it’s just the truth, like gravity, it always works. The strangest thing began to happen when I would do what He said to do, the way He said to do it. e.g. Give to the least and do it in secret. I started to have a new awareness of Him that was opposite to the God of TLWF. Instead of wanting to be served, He wanted to serve – and even more surprising, there it was in the scriptures in red letters, plain as day. Principle after principle was that way. Forgiving, loving, and praying for my enemies opened up a whole new relationship with Him I did not expect. The directions had been there all along – I just didn’t do them until I was utterly desperate.

I can honestly say that every area I was depressed about has been more than restored and He did it. There's no breakthrough, new level, new teaching, or new teacher needed. My greatest “meetings with the Lord” in TLWF pale to what is just regular life – not a fantasy belief system based on fantasy words from God. There are many others who are experiencing the same thing – most from other groups with similar backgrounds. There absolutely is hope! “God is not a man that He should lie” – it’s not the same disappointment all over again. Keep walking – the story is not over. No human can give it to you. He said, “Come to Me”. It’s the reason He said to call no man leader, teacher, or father. “You have one teacher and it’s the Christ.” Perhaps it sounds arrogant to suggest that what Jesus said is really true – I know I didn’t come up with it. It’s opposite to what I would think too. “No man comes to the Father except through Me.” He also warned that many would come in His name, claiming to be the Christ. What if that is really true and you just walked through it?

Oh, by the way, I do know there were other black people in Living Word besides the Cottons, I meant that at the time I didn't know of any other besides the Cottons and the one family in the South, because I had been to Shiloh with the santuary pretty full and the whole place was white. Not that this is all that important to me, but if John wanted to make accusations about the South, he should have visited the South first. it would seem that a man that had perfect revelation knowledge about everything would have known that even back in 1980s lots of churches here were more multi-cultural than his.

Again, my unpopular yet valid viewpoint--Larry Bobo and others here don't speak for all of us ex-walkers. "The heart cry she expresses and the deep hunger we all experienced coming into TLWF can only be satisfied in Him." I disagree with that! It is a big world! I recall a past post that stated those who are no longer religious had been influenced by the Great Deceiver. That is just poppycock. I am proud I left the walk, proud to no longer be religious, and I take all the credit for it, not some "devil." Just as there is life after a cult, there is life after religion and a great life without religion. There may not be many--I only know of a few others who were also very invested in the walk, and had the temerity, good sense and courage to examine and discard life-long beliefs that were found lacking. Also, I am not trying to start a debate. I understand that religion is super important to the still-believers here. Once a preacher, always a preacher, I guess. Just my little reminder for the forum record, that after the walk people went in more than one direction with life and philosophy.

Thanks for your comments Larry B. - thanks for listening, that means a lot to me.

... and Lamp, thanks also. Your viewpoint is not as unpopular as you suggest.

Apostle Dog said it earlier: life goes on - with us or without us.

I figure we could take another look at the apostle's teaching. Just a paragraph tonight from the online encyclopedia, I don't have an Living Word material handy:

In Iran the aura is known as farr or "glory": it is depicted in association with Zoroastrian kings.[15]

Ideas of the aura are well represented in Indian religions. In tantric tradition of Hinduism, aura represents the subtle body of seven colours.[citation needed] In many Hindu paintings of gods and goddesses, aura is marked on their backhead. The Buddhist flag represents the colours seen around the enlightened Buddha.[16] In Jainism the concept of Lesya relates colours to mental and emotional dispositions. To the Indian teacher Meher Baba the aura is of seven colours, associated with the subtle body and its store of mental and emotional impressions. Spiritual practice gradually transforms this aura into a spiritual halo.[17] Hindu and Buddhist sources often link these colours to Kundalini energy and the chakras.[18]


Statue depicting Shiva as Nataraja with auras.
In the classical western mysticism of neoplatonism and Kabbalah the aura is associated with the lustre of the astral body, a subtle body identified with the planetary heavens, which were in turn associated with various mental faculties in an elaborate system of correspondences with colours, shapes, sounds, perfumes etc.[19]