Re: The Living Word Fellowship, The Walk, John Robert Stevens
Posted by:
jan w. lane
()
Date: February 22, 2015 01:11PM
Just tuning back into the group. We are all still mysteriously bound to the past and it does seem that many of us continue to have difficulty with organized religion. Fear factor or just a healthy reluctance to embark on another erroneous journey?
I suffered so much in the 13 yrs. I was a member of the walk. My marriage was such a farce, without love. It hurt so much. I did think I loved the man that was deemed to be my spiritual partner during the early years of the marriage. We lived communally very early on and that was difficult. I should have read between the lines when he told me he did not want to have children. I was convinced I could change him. We did have children. We had a son and a daughter. He never paid any attention to myself and had very little time for our children. I still suffer from the experience of having been rejected.
Even though I have been remarried for nearly 30 yrs., the past experiences with the marriage and the walk seem to have such a negative hold upon my mind. This past year my former sister in law with whom I had a friendship with for over 40 yrs, introduced my ex to a former cult member and after just a few months, they got married. Since my former sister in law made the introduction she has behaved very oddly towards me and we have stopped communicating. It still hurts when I consider the years which I spent in a loveless marriage. I see my ex husband treating the new wife in ways he would never have thought to do for me. The sense of muddy water under the bridge brings tears to this day. It affects what I do. I am currently dreading going to my first grandson's 2rd birthday because the ex will be there with his new wife, and also my ex sis in law will be there. Was there true love in any of the walk marriages? The only ones that have survived the chaos seems to be the marriages in which the couple selected one another outside of the walk or before they entered the walk. I feel so damaged by it all.