pain of discussing your experience with a group
Date: February 27, 2007 02:17AM
Kath, I imagine if you are talking to people who are still involved in the organization or group, they are very likely to be disturbed and offended by your criticisms of the group. Because of their continuing involvement in the group, they are not going to be open to any dissent. (Yes, I speak from experience!)
If you feel the need to say anything to them (such as responding to a question like, "Why haven't you been around lately?") you can just say something innocuous like, "My spiritual path is leading me elsewhere, and I find that this group no longer suits my beliefs." If the person you are talking to has had any doubts about the group, this will leave enough of an opening for them to start confiding in you, should they so desire. But if the person is still deeply involved in the group, they may try to convince you to come back and talk to one of the higher-ups. Then just politely say "Thank you, I'll consider that," and change the subject.
IMO, the best thing to do when leaving a cult is to avoid the people in it until they demonstrate that they are OK with you leaving. And refrain from criticizing the group around them, so as to avoid arguments.
If you want an analogy: in rehab, they tell recovering drug users and alcoholics to avoid their old haunts and old friends from the drinking and drugging days, so that they don't get sucked back into it.
It does suck to have to avoid people whom you consider friends, but if these people are not in the same mental space as you right now, then the friendship isn't going to work anyway. You may be learning the hard way that most of these people are not true friends. True friends respect your opinion even if they disagree, and they support you no matter what.
Time to start socializing elsewhere, and maybe look up some old friends whom you haven't seen since your pre-cult days.