HELLO EYEOPENER.. its been e few years since you wrote this.. i too came from that church that you speak of..i wont reveal my name.. but its still quite fresh. the abuse, the use, the fear and manipulation, the carrot of a close relationship dangling at the end of a stick that you will never get... the wall that candace has had and still has.. the only people you are allowed to get very close to and be 100 open to are the couple. especially candace. the financial abuse and emotional and relationship abuse was insane.. upto now i cant stop crying and trying to figure out who i am. I love Jesus. thats a good start.. but i will never go back. i felt so abused and used... those 2 words describe it the best. i started looking for answers... found this forum and there are other pages and sites. how did you heal? what did you do?