I was part of a group for a few years that people would consider a cult or cultic. (It was a type of yoga).

I can't say I was recruited though. I was actively looking to find someplace where I could attend yoga classes, as I had heard that it is good way to bring some kind of balance to your mind, and that it is good physical exercise, and because I had an interest in the spiritual aspects of it. I found a class I liked (i.e. it was cheapest one and close to where I lived!) and so started going.

The director once tried to invite me to join some silly pyramid kind of program (selling gold coins). I think she asked quite a few people, and from what I know no-one took her up on the offer! Most of the people there were just there for the exercise. I met some very kind, compassionate and fun people there.

There were some internal problems that brought me some disillusionment, but I enjoyed the exercise and the company of other people there.

From my own recollection, I think that I was definitely searching for something of a spiritual nature, and was quite lonely. Most of my friends followed different paths to me, and being naturally shy I found it hard to make new friends. I think that these things/times happen to people (and I was in my early twenties at the time) but you learn from the experiences you have. I think I was definitely influenced by the people I was then hanging out with, but being influenced by people isn't the same as brainwashing, if such a thing really exists. People around people of a particular philosophy and choosing to take on some of those beliefs, is exactly that, a choice. You can choose to believe something or not. I think I was thinking differently at that time, but after I while I realised that the ideal that was being espoused was not becoming a reality. I started to see what was false. But I didn't need to get upset about it, I just felt like I realised that it wasn't doing it for me anymore and so I chose to leave.

I think there are almost as many different reasons as there are people. But I guess it could be narrowed down to certain general points, eg. wanting to fit in, searching for something meaningful, a need for some kind of structure in their lives. I don't think there is anything wrong with feeling any of those things. I think most people join 'cults' with a good idea of what they are doing. People don't leave because they don't want to. If some belief or practice helps someone to have a happier more satisfying life, leave em to it, I say! And if they find any kind of happiness, it will lead in turn to further happiness/fulfillment, even if it is not in a way that mainstream society says it was real happiness is about. Goodness knows that even the most 'succesful' people in society are not happy just because they are 'succesful' - whatever that means.

I feel that if people have issues with a group that they have left, that it's not necessarily right to blame the group. If you are unhappy in a group or feeling unsatisfied - leave. Nine times out of ten, it's that simple. Others in your group might have a bad attitude but it doesn't mean you should blame them for choices you have made. And if a bad experience helps you to make better choices in the future...then you have not lost anything, you have gained! If you still can't make better choices, and it upsets you, then perhaps you do need to look more closely at your own thought processes to find out what it is that you keep missing, and make serious efforts to change it. But if you are not committed to changing you won't. There are no magic answers (and by default, there is no magic brainwashing either).

I had a great upbringing, in a happy family (usual family probs, but nothing out of the ordinary), and was living at home the whole time I was practicing yoga (and the whole time I started attending a controversial church too). Perhaps it was just me, but when I didn't like something I saw, I complained about it. If people didn't listen, I would either continue complaining or realise that they didn't care, but I just got on with my life, and continued to make my own decisions about things.

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question lady
...I feel so powerless. I am no longer #1 in my man's life - The Release Technique people now occupy that position. So much for their claim about how "releasing" improves relationships.

Hi question lady. I have some idea that people who do all this personal growth kind of stuff and generally looking for some kind of meaning in their lives (I know that is why I courses etc.) It could be that people look at what they are doing with their lives and it's not what they really want to be doing. These courses offer them some kind of 'excitement' or chance to 'improve their lives'. Perhaps what is needed is finding out what your husband is dissatisfied in his life, and what he would really like to achieve for himself? I think if he is really dissatisfied with something, then a change is necessary, and while it might not be the release technique it could still be something that you don't like or don't want him to do. But if it makes him feel like he has a more satisfying life, supporting him to step out and do it, could bring good fruit.

It is something like being caught in a rip (or current) in the ocean..you can't get out of it by trying to cut across it...you have to go with the flow of it, but then veer out of it at a slight angle. An approach like that with getting your husband to see the truth could help. If it is support and encouragement he is looking for, you can do that by listening to him, and encouraging any good points that he shares about what he is learning. Patiently holding your tongue when there is stuff you don't agree with. When he sees that you have his best interests at heart, he is more likely to begin to trust that you are not just trying to control him (whether or not you are actually trying to control him). Once he feels he can be open with you without any kind of debate, he will probably come to share more openly with you, and on his own come to see any errors or whatever in what he is being told.

Lots of love and patience.

furry faerie said,

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people who do all this personal growth kind of stuff and generally looking for some kind of meaning in their lives...or chance to improve their lives.

But rather than looking for what can easily be seen as a high risk quick fix that probably won't really work in the long run, it would likely be better to pick from amongst some more proven and practical alternatives, such as counseling with a licensed professional, continuing education or a support group through a local community social service agency, place of worship or community center.

My ex came from a divorced family where she said forms of abuse were rampant.

She also seemed to struggle with her sexuality earlier in life.

The main thing was that she didn't have a "purpose" in life, and before converting to Landmark, had made over 5 possible career decisions in a 2-4 month period, before fully "expressing" that LE fully utilised her talents and "inspired her."

What's funny and NOT funny at the same time is that she wanted to be a COUNSELOR before a Landmark staff member.

Yeah. As part of a Landmark homework assignment, I do remember her asking me what were some of her character defects were, and I mentioned one: "EXTREME need for approval from others."

Does this help anyone?

There are definitely two sides to this issue, and each side has the right to their opinion. There is no scientific evidence that will ever decide the issue, and there is no more humane side to it. Some people see people who
are in cults in exactly the same way as someone who is kidnapped and held
for ransom. Others try to draw from more psychological insight.

I remember this was brought up in the discussion of the books, "Hyperreligiosity -- Identifying and Overcoming Patterns of Religious Dysfunction," and "The Experience of Hallucinations in Religious Practice."

Some people can accept that cult victim's critical faculties are hampered at times by what's called a "process addiction" in psychology. It doesn't deny that cult's don't victimize. Perhaps what we are getting at in some cases are people's inability to see shades of gray. Cults indeed are evil and they do abusive things. And, certain people are drawn to them because they seek out unhealthy behavior and can't fully use their thinking. They're are various degrees. There is no absolutely right
side to this issue.

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brainstormer
There are definitely two sides to this issue, and each side has the right to their opinion. There is no scientific evidence that will ever decide the issue, and there is no more humane side to it. Some people see people who
are in cults in exactly the same way as someone who is kidnapped and held
for ransom. Others try to draw from more psychological insight.

I remember this was brought up in the discussion of the books, "Hyperreligiosity -- Identifying and Overcoming Patterns of Religious Dysfunction," and "The Experience of Hallucinations in Religious Practice."

Some people can accept that cult victim's critical faculties are hampered at times by what's called a "process addiction" in psychology. It doesn't deny that cult's don't victimize. Perhaps what we are getting at in some cases are people's inability to see shades of gray. Cults indeed are evil and they do abusive things. And, certain people are drawn to them because they seek out unhealthy behavior and can't fully use their thinking. They're are various degrees. There is no absolutely right
side to this issue.

So...why participate in the discussion just to say basically "I see the two sides and they are both the same but viewed differently." Which "side" has had _more_ benefits or _more_ success and done the _least_ damage? Which ones are perceived as more harmful and why? Input. I've looked at the other posts you've made here in your single day and it's just to but in and say the same thing "both sides have their opinions," but apprently you do not.

What's up "brain"stormer?

I'm sorry your post doesn't make very much sense to me, and in fact
it's not even true (the part I can understand).

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brainstormer
I'm sorry your post doesn't make very much sense to me, and in fact
it's not even true (the part I can understand).

You do. What you just did was a really common tactic LGAT people do. It made me laugh!

Anytime people open themselves and deal with sensitive issues, people
on boards need to have a lot of respect. I was disturbed by your first
response to me, so I haven't signed in for a month. I'm going to report
your behavior to the administrators here because I think it's uncalled
for in a public forum like this.

You know, it doesn't matter that you are a senior member, you don't have a right to attack and criticize someone based on your beliefs. I don't even know what a LGAT member is, but if I said that you sound like a certain of person of a cult for saying what you said, how would that feel?

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brainstormer
I don't even know what a LGAT member is, but if I said that you sound like a certain of person of a cult for saying what you said, how would that feel?

Nothing at all. If it's not true it doesn't bother me. I don't carry around that unhealthy amount of insecurity. Good luck to you in your endeavors. Have a nice day.