kajern
Our paths may have crossed. I was raised in Iowa as was jrs.

I am so sorry what happened to you. the fact We did survive does not fix the scars.

I have had a lot of therapy. But,Unless a therapist is familiar with cults I have not gotten everything thing I have needed. But, more and more therapists are being trained on this line.

I think there are some personal issues we need to address. Like why we were so vulnerable? Becasue if we don'g figure it ou we will be vivtimized again and again...I admit I fell for the same patterns of behavior and it was obivious that I would submit.

1. it is not your fault,
2.We can not change anyone elses behavior only our own behavior ( I used to hate that statement.)
3. we all have to take a look at if we were co-dependant (sorry I hate the fact that the co-dendant can end up "sicker" that that abuser...ugh! ) We are all responcible for our own choices. "No one can make us do anything we don't chose"..eh...to a point. But do NOT heap coal on your self. Forgive your self.
4. It is all too easy for someone on the outside looking in to see how 'wicked" the cult was.
5. Find others in your group to figure out how to not let this happend again.
( AS an exampe in the Cath church kids were being molested for for-ever . It was covered up. Hidden. No one did anything! But, the more people talked about th at waelthy church is being forced to make reparation. not good enough but it does send a message that help victims/ survivors get some closure.

I am uncomfortable with the fact that no one can make us do want we don't want to do. The problem is that where do we go? There may be no way out. I think that is at least one reason this cult ed patform exists.

I am not qualified to councel any one. I only share a fe tid bits I have learned

Chritian Tabernacle JRS home town church: Shiloh; the Walk: Church of the Living Word;

I was still recovering from The Walk when I met Grace Lucia Rose in Iowa City Iowa. She taught How to Be a Psychic classes through Kirkwood in '80' and '90's She tired to start up a new following in mid 2000's.

She gave psychic readings for $20 to regular clients. ( She laughed behind their back at the crap she made up.)
She gave metahsycial talks in local groups.

She worked in West High. Often ffeatured in the news paper. she and her husband Dutch Brooks worked in mental gorup homes and started a mental health organization ( The name changed after she left that.)

She had Balloons over Iowa.

At some point when she lived on Yewell she had a cult. Then she disappeared from the neighborhood. She apparently had psych break.

I knew about her. When she came back I ws introduced to her and did lunch with other old ladies. Very subtely she drew me in step by step with talk of heavenly love and turning with in to "talk to the Creator." Love bomb!

She claimed she was psychic adn sure looked liek it to me. I had no idea how she knew so much about me. ( Turns out she stole my keys and would go thru' my stuf , move it or steal it.)

Then she revealed she "chanelled angles". How did they know so much about me? ( She was stealing from my purse and In my apartment.) she wasa pretty good a body language reading with her psycology education.

I was used to prophsey in the Walk( which was bull as well)

"The world was coming to an end" and everyone including Grace was reading Revalations. She said the "angels wer strying eveil in order to understnad it so she adn I an 144,000 were ona mission to colelct data. We had our gaurdian angels watching us but coudl not interfer with the scenario. We were to kill the communion beings and destroy the earth for being evil. The book Ito weite ws to reveal the secrets for the 144,000 to go home."

Step by step love bombing me during an difficult time in my life. The angels told me who I was in "heaven" and "heaven" had another name and was not organized like the christian thinking. After the WAlk, I needed fellowship and she made sense esecially when I drank her tea that she would not drink.

She had me waiting on her hand and foot as she gave me hints of who she was very slowly. Then she had wanted to find Her 144,000 "heavenly spies" so I was ordered to write a book and she was listed as the co-author. I wrote it as fiction.

When the book did not make the best seller list the angels got angry. In a drugged sleep the "angels" beat me up." The "angles" did not know how to market nor did they bother to edit the book I typo-ed.

I pulled the book from distribuion,because I realized how dangerous it was when the readers wanted to find Grace to have the angles reveal...( they did not exist except in her organize delussions )... reveal who they were in the agolorical fictional heaven. The angels "appeared" to me when I was apparently drugged. She ws switiching my medications. No ownder they weren't working right. Of course when I asked for help I sounded crazy. I know I was not her only victim.

But there are printed copies out there that some time sell as collectors copies. I get no royalty. I can't get the book back.

Grace Rose Iowa City believes she is the "Creator". She was trying to form a new cult. She had had a large folowing before who all abandonded her and she meantlly snapped.

I fell into her delussion one step ata time just like all the people who met her her home on Yewell around the late 1980's and maybe the '90's.

I hope people did not find her. She phsycially hurt people, including former clients. She told me she had cut off a neighobr guys long hair. She got away with murder and no authority would listen.

I have no idea is she is still living or not.

I wrote glowing blurbs on her that I can not get back. I am sorry. I bleive a big fat liar.

Grace Rose is a con and thief in the night. She is shop lifter and pick pocket. So yeah, she will know things about you . She demands your undying love and devotion if only you follow her every whim. If you reject her.. well, she may have your keys. Change your locks.

To heal I have read what I can get my hands on about psycho paths, narasists; mind control; hypnosis; and cult followings.

I have watched video on how "faith healers" do their thing. Also being "slain in the spirit" has a trick to it. My martial artist son immediatley spoted the use of pressure points when his grand pa took him to pentacostal meetings. Grace used sme of the same techniques. The feel of "annointing" and the feel of strength of the " holy spirit' is nothing more than an adrenalyn rush. Faith healers ahve apatern of behavior as does an ilusionist or magician. Grace had tricks up her sleave.

i continue to research setting my self aside to discover how I had "gulliable" and "sucker" written across my forhead.

I regret having played a part in her trying to revive her cultish following. I was duped. I shoud have seen it. Grace has no empathy.

I had my land lord change my locks. Another woman, a former client of hers also complained that some one was in her apartment. The managemnet thought she was wrong. But the woman suddenly died along with several other former clients in my apartment complex. other former clients had seirous injuries that she had predicted everything. Grace had predicted waht woud hppen. they had "rejected her " and she was mad.
Poice, DA, psych dept at the U o I did not listen.

I moved to a relatives out of state. of course my unexplained vomiting and pain stopped. I was loosing 3 to 4 hours a day and that stopped. I did not hear voices nor hand groping me in the night any more. Nor do I have unexplained bruises and scratches. When I moved I did find evidence that she had been in my home.

it was hard to accept that most everything she did and said was a lie. the hardest part was to let go of my "guardian angel."

Another step in my healing and to keep other victims I have been working on a fiction book for 7 years to undo the damage of the first book that I can't get back. It may lead sheep astray. Researching the book and making up a story with thing is have learned is helping me heal.

Writing a journal may help others. Then rewriting how you want your story to happen the way you want may be a way to find some closure.

I know my story is crazy sounding. I was so stupid. But someone out there will know they have been there and been through the same thing. I hope my word will help.

I am grateful to be on this site.

I know this post and thread is few years old. I find it interesting that so matter the cult the 1970's is mentioned often.

Another common thread is leaders came from Four Square. I iwll assumed most wer defrocked as they had more radica words that did not stay with in their established doctrine.

My late ex husbands grand father was four Square. As was my late ex father in law. The founder of the walk was defrocked from Four Squre. His father was a founding pastor of my local church home. I would think he was also Four Sqaure.

Coindence? or what may be the common link that influenced the desire to not follow the four Square doctrine?

Same church in Lake City FL different names: End Timers / Meade Ministries LLC / Mountain Top, Now the founders have died and the mafia enforcers left since they are no longer of importance, New name trying to be normal Community Christian Church something like that.

I had joined a small church in 1990 called The Lord Our Rightness. At first it was a beautiful thing, mostly made up of people looking for a closer walk with God. This church in many ways helped bring me out of a life of alcoholism and drugs. I had been married twice and had lost a son in the process. Going through one failure after another and completely dissatisfied with my life, at 33 I gave my heart to God and joined this church. After 3 yrs of being in the church I got remarried and had 3 children. I loved God with my whole heart for freeing me from what I had been, and than giving me so much. I couldn't have been happier at that time in my life. But, at that time, some of the members started abusing their children. Spanking them for every little thing they did. Some became stern and unloving towards their children, and the red flags went up for me. I had just had my second child, a boy, and when he was born I feel on my knees demanding to know how to raise my children in a way that would honor God. And He showed me. Love!!! Love is how!!! A child naturally wants to be your best friend, and they will follow you anywhere and do anything you ask if you love them and are kind. Corrections are a must but in love. Spankings should be reserved for rebellion alone. Small corrections like you would train a rose, and they will blossom into beautiful adults. This is a huge mistake these small religious groups make, they get stern and way to demanding on their children. Their high standards, becomes a works trip and they naturally take it out on their children. This is the biggest crime these churches make. And the biggest sin of all.
Wayne Bent in 2000 decided that if he didn't claim himself as the eternal leader and become Michael the arc angel, then he would loose his church. To him it was a following, and that's exactly what they became. He started asking for our wives and everything we owned. I stood up and corrected him in these matters and was asked to leave. I finally lost my wife and children in the process. We are never ever to follow any "MAN!Ever!!! Every human being should have their own connection with God and should be following that inner voice. God will not give you a scorpion if you seek him with your whole heart. We don't need preachers or so called leaders anymore if we only seek God the way we should. But this thinking that I am sharing with you will basically get you kicked out of any church. My heart goes out to anyone who looses their family in the process. God bless anyone who is seeking Him, and I truly hope you find him!!!

I was in Hare Krishna. My Temple was actually one of he good ones. :-) The movement , or Iskcon, has tons of problems. Most devotees are either non-believers taking advantage of innocents, or a purposefully mis-informed congregation.

My mom was Lutheran and my dad was agnostic, so I definitely can't blame them for what happened to me. I got progressively more involved with Fundy Christianity until I finally went too far and got into a full- blown cult. It started when I was 8 and started going to a Christian scouting group at a little evangelical church. I went every week and to their summer camp too. That was when the idea of hell was first instilled. I worried about my dad's soul and about my own commitment....heavy thoughts for a preteen. I would read the Bible but it didn't really appeal to me. Then in high school I got into Campus Crusade for Christ. It was really beautiful at first and I felt really committed and close to God for the first time. After this wonderful first year, Crusade brought in adult missionaries to evangelize the school. Some of them were really pushy and wanted us to drop all our outside activities to do ministry and bible study on weeknights. I'm not really sure why it was ok for this to go on in a public school. A lot of these kids came from Catholic or mainline Protestant backgrounds but that didn't count with Campus Crusade. I finally dropped out as I hated the concept of seeing everyone as a potential recruit and hated always feeling guilty about everything and feeling controlled. When my dad died none of my Crusade " friends" came to the funeral or even called. Looking back I feel the experience interfered with my sense of autonomy and boundaries. It wasn't truly a cult but it paved the way for what came next. I went to college in a different state. I was so happy there, joining a sorority and meeting new friends and dating. I decided to get involved with a bible study or church group. I saw a poster on campus about a Christian group and called the number. I met with two young married couples and they seemed to know all about me. They told me God had called me to a higher walk and that I would need to drop out of my sorority, stop seeing the guy I was dating, and change the classes I had signed up for (theatre, music) and take typing and Greek instead. So I did all those things. One of the women became my " shepherd" and scrutinized my every action and thought.During this time I went to one of their training seminars and met the leader of the group. I will never forget his cold eyes, and his wife's haughty demeanor. I felt a panic and nausea in their presence. I wasn't in this group very long, not even a month, but the year was ruined. I flunked out and had a breakdown. I felt abandoned by God and was constantly afraid of everything. I took a year off and then transferred to another college and graduated, but there was a dark cloud over my life that never really went away. I feel embarrassed that I was so traumatized by something that only lasted a few weeks. I think it's because of when it happened, right as I was on my own for the first time, with a glorious new life opening up-then this. I struggled for many years, mentally and financially. Spiritually I was dead. Along the way I raised a daughter, and although I tried to give her a spiritual foundation and took her to a nice, normal church, she saw what effect Christianity had had on me, and when she was in her early 20s she converted to Judaism. It's brought her and her husband and children nothing but joy and I am so proud of her overcoming the poverty and sadness of her childhood. If it wasn't for her, I would be sorry I was ever born. I worry about her soul and the souls of my grandchildren, but then I look at their dear happy faces and think, they are going to hell? What kind of monster would torture His poor creatures for eternity? I would be a monster to believe such a thing. If there really is a hell, then the universe is a fundamentally malignant place, and it would be better if nothing ever existed. I look at nature and it seems that a cruel God could not have created such beauty. I choose to think better of God than His followers do. Things have been pretty good for me later in life. I was diagnosed as bipolar and medication has really helped me. Morbid religious obsessions are common with bipolar disorder, so I have somewhere else to place the blame for my troubles, not just on religion. I am lucky to be able to work full time and enjoy many friendships and enjoy the outdoors and hobbies. I even belong to a church, though it's mostly for the fellowship and music and I don't go every week. But underneath always lurks the terror of hell and the realization that I was never really a Christian and never wanted to be. So I surely can't blame the cult for most of this. Still, if I could change one thing in my life, I would never have called the phone number on that poster. Instead I would have walked confidently into my college years, with all the excitement and joy the opportunity held for me.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/06/2019 09:07AM by Indigo bunting.

Hell is a Roman Catholic invention. We sleep until the Resurrection. All whose names are in the Book of Life will enter eternal life with God and Christ but all who have rejected God and whose names are not in the book of life shall be destroyed in the Lake of Fire. God will judge us for sin and He is a Just judge. He does not torture people for eternity. The wages of sin is death not hell.

Hell is defiantly an invention created to extract money from their fearful followers. I'm not even sure we sleep. Have you ever looked at a dead body before? There's no one home!!!