Friends and family members have finally run out of ideas, and I am at a loss on how to save my family from what appears to be a Jewish cult. My husband and I were both raised as Reform/ Conservative Jews and were not really practicing, except for spending the holidays with family and sending our kids to a Reform preschool. About a year and a half ago, my husband met a friend in our community who introduced him to the local Chabad Rabbi, and our lives have been changing drastically ever since.

He now wraps tefilin every day, goes to services every Friday night, speaks to the Rabbi constantly, has given up some (but not all) non-Kosher foods, and is contributing large sums of money to the movement. Worst of all, he has completely lost his once excellent sense of humor. Although I have been putting up a fierce fight to retain some sense of normalcy and moderation within our family, I feel as if his rigorous beliefs are now affecting our two daughters. Their father tells them they need to kiss a mezuzah when they enter a room, and he recently announced to me that he feels strongly that they be Bat Mitzvahed by the Chabad Rabbi (and thus have a ceremony where they are separated from their male relatives, among other ridiculous and outrageous practices). In addition, we have another child due in September, and my husband has already told me that he plans to make a pilgrimage (with his Rabbi and other members) to Israel in January.

I feel as if I am dealing with someone who has a progressing mental illness. Any suggestions you could provide would be greatly appreciated as I am truely up against a wall at this point.

Hi,

I'm new to this forum but not to Rick Ross's site. I just got through posting several articles on our message board, concerning the group you are talking about.

Good luck to you and hopefully you can reach your husband.

Many blessings

Being once involved with a man who had the same problem, i would advice you to consider breaking up the marriage. i know it sounds horrible, but if this is not going to stop soon, he will drag you and the family into the situation, which can later become even worse and harder to untangle. I know one friend who saved her marriage, but her husband didn't go as deep into the practice as you describe yours. Eventually, however, they immigrated to Israel, and this was after the earthquake in LA (the Valley), because the Rabbi explained to them that this is a sign from God etc. etc., and so they left to Israel. However, at no point did he become very observant, rather he gave money, took the kids to summer camps etc. In Israel, they are not observant and have less contact with cult, except he is still giving them money (but they are very rich, so nobody is suffering). In my brief experience with a man who suddenly became a follower of one of those Rabbis, we had to separate because the rabbi took over his life, made his decisions, and since I didn't want to get into it, he said I was a bad woman etc. etc., luckily we didn't ahve kids together. You ahve to be clear with husband that its this or you, and that's it, unless you are really willing to change your lifestyle and become a religious Jew, which also means you are subjected to constant degredation by this or that Rabbi. Waiting it out can take years, although some people snapped out eventually, but usually not very fast, namely, in terms of years.

See [img120.imageshack.us]

Have your husband take this picture to the shliach and ask him how is it that his great leader is not wearing a yarmulka?

Hi. It's very unfortunte that your husband has become entangled in Chabad. You might want to look up my comments on this group to get your bearings. I had an extreme amount of dealings with Rabbi Schneerson and his gang. They are very pushy and think they have carte blanche to do anything they want to do.
I personally, do not believe in the miracle stories in the Torah. I consider them to be Jewish mythology. Perhaps you share this belief with me. You're going to have to fight back and your marriage, unfortunately, may be doomed unless you learn how to put your foot down.
You also might want to get involved with www.xlubi.com which is a society of ex-Chabadniks in England.